Lilli Rose
by shake.n
Summary: He wanted something challenging, maybe something fun. She was ready to give up and he came along and saved her when she didn't want to be saved. This was going to be challenging. Eric/OC.
1. Waiting

**Chapter 1: Waiting**

I sat in my windowsill breathing in the air once more. I closed my eyes and listened to my surroundings. I could hear cars driving by and the sound of sirens from a far. I opened my eyes and looked at everything. High-rise buildings with lights lit up, empty streets with flickering lamp posts, shops down below closing up and a few people sitting on the sidewalk. Everything was just as it was the night before. But tonight was different.

I had waited for this moment for so long.

Tonight's when it ends, when I leave everything behind, when the lies I have been telling myself end and giving up after fighting for so long. Tonight I don't have to fight at all when everything would be better. All the fuck ups, hardship and everything that happened in my life don't matter anymore. I would be gone forever. Tonight's letting go of all the anger in misery that I have been carrying for the twenty years I have lived in this world.

I towed my head back inside from the window and made sure that my letter was in full sight. I took off my shoes and climbed up the windowsill. I turned my head down and saw how far I was from the ground. My heart pounded in fear but I took a breath and relief and excitement washed over me. Tonight's the night. Tonight I will finally be free. I closed my eyes again as I push myself out of the window.

As I plunge into the ground, I let everything inside of me go.

* * *

"What the hell?" I grumbled as I opened my eyes. I wondered why I could actually wake up. "What..? Where am I?"

Had it worked? Was I dead? If I was dead why was I awake? Was I in heaven?

I took a look at my surroundings. I was lying in a bed with red silk sheets and black pillows. In a room with black painted walls, with book cases filled with books, figurines, artefacts and other things I couldn't make out. There was a single red door in front of me and one to my left, an old desk and chair in the corner of the room along with a sofa on the other side of the room. If this was heaven, it was not how I pictured it.

"Ack why am I covered in dirt." I muttered to myself as I took a look at my arms and my clothes. I was still wearing the same black shirt and pants. My clothes were covered in dirt but had dried against a liquid substance I recognised as blood. I searched for cuts and bruises around my body but I didn't find any. My last memory was jumping out of the window. I should be in pain, with broken bones and cuts that will bleed me dry, but I wasn't. I was perfectly fine if you take out the crusty clothes. What was going on? Didn't it work?

"This isn't heaven." I moaned as I let myself fall back into bed. Maybe I was in hell.

"You are at my home my darling, I can show you heaven later," a man's voice said with a hint of seduction in his voice.

I got up from bed in surprise. A man appeared behind the door. He was really tall, with slicked back blonde hair kind of like Draco Malfoy the early years, he was wearing a black tank top over his well toned body and black pants. His dark clothing had made his pale skin look like porcelain. He was an attractive man. It surprised me that I could even notice him that way at a time like this, when nothing was making sense and I didn't know what to think, but he had an allure around him that made you want to look at him no matter what the situation is.

He could be an angel, a demon or worse he could be a rapist for all I know.

"Who.. who are you?" I asked him, my voice trembling in fear and uncertainty. I backed myself up against the wall trying to get as far as I could from the mysterious man.

"My name is Eric," he said in a low but deep voice.

"E-Eric?" I gasped as suddenly he had showed up at my side when a second ago he was a few feet away.

"Yes, Lilli I am your maker. Here drink this." The blonde haired man, Eric lifted my head up and placed a glass filled with red liquid between my lips. I breathe in the scent of the liquid, it smelt like rusty chains.

"H-how do you know my name?"

"You told me, drink," he commanded.

Even though I didn't want to drink the beverage he offered I was thirsty and felt like I had to follow his command. I drank a few gulps and almost threw up at the taste, "That's disgusting." I spat.

"Its a few days old, I'm sorry. I do not have any fresh blood for you at this moment." He apologised as he ran his hands on my hair. I felt a shiver run across my spine. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Blood? You made me drink blood." I asked appalled and disgusted at the fact that I had just drunk blood and that he made me drink it and I agreed to it.

"You should thank me that it is human blood, others would have given you something much, much worse." He said holding my face. I tried looking away from him and get away from his cold touch.

"Human blood? Are you making me into a goddamn cannibal?" I screeched, spat whatever was left in my mouth.

His big hands cupped my face, he made me face him. This time I noticed his eyes they were a light shade of green and looking straight at me, he pursed his lips opening his mouth revealing extended fangs and said, "No, I made you a vampire."

_So say goodbye to love and hold your head up high there's no need to rush_

_We're all just waiting Waiting to die_

"Waiting" - City and Colour

* * *

**Authors Note:** This is my first fanfiction in a while. I never really post them but this show sucked me in (lol suck) and it's all because of this vampire called Eric Northman. So this is me and my imagination, I just had to. It's also been a while since I wrote in first person I'm probably a bit rusty. Sorry no Sookie I'm not really a fan of hers.


	2. Building A Mystery

**Chapter 2: Mystery**

"What?" I screamed in shock. I backed away from him kicking my legs to get to the other side of the bed.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Newborns," he muttered.

"My bathroom is behind that door. Go clean yourself up I'll find you something to wear." He ignored my question and pointed to the red door. He placed down the glass filled with blood at the side table next to the bed, "if you get thirsty," he said cocking an eyebrow.

"But - " I protested.

"Get yourself cleaned up. We'll talk later." He walked towards the other door and closed it behind him.

I was all alone again in a creepy room with my thoughts. This is what I didn't want. I was supposed to be free from this.

I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom. There were no windows. How surprising, there weren't any windows back in the room either. There was a big white bathtub with water filling it every second, a big mirror attached to the wall with a sink under it and a toilet a few feet beside it. It looked like a normal bathroom. I didn't know what I expected. I was clearly at Eric's house, and he was a vampire. Maybe I was expecting a coffin or something but everything looked normal so far.

I took off my dirty clothes and jumped in the bath, the water warm against my skin it appeased me. I felt relaxed somehow. Then reality hit me again.

What the hell was going on?

I fell out of the window didn't I? I'm supposed to be either dead or very, very badly hurt and should be at the hospital. But here I was in a bath without a scar I didn't have before that night. As I washed off the dirt off my body I noticed that I was fine when I'm pretty sure I should be bleeding to death and paralysed.

_I made you a vampire._ Eric's words repeated in my head.

How was that possible? The last I remembered was plunging into the ground. I've never even met and seen this man in my life and he's suddenly telling me to drink blood and that he made me Dracula. I mean what the hell was going on? This must be a dream. It has to be a dream.

I submerged myself under water and held my breath. Maybe I could stop this insanity.

I knew vampires are out there but there was never a point in my life that I had exchanged words to one or even been close enough to one. It wasn't that much of a deal for me, they were living creatures.. sort of and I just thought of them as another type of people, one you don't get close to. I may be fearless but I don't get close to people that I know will hurt me and vampires always fit in the category and along with indie boys.

Suddenly, I was one? No it couldn't happen. Vampires are immortal. I've heard a lot of them have lived for centuries. That cannot happen. It's not possible, that wasn't the plan!

"Are you almost done?" Eric's voice behind the door snapped me out of my thoughts.

I was still under water for what seemed like ten minutes but nothing happened. No choking, no suffocating, no breathing, nothing but water in my lungs that I threw up once I emerged from the water. The water in the tub had turned pinkish due to the water that came from my lungs had a red tinge or colour to it, I'm guessing from the beverage I had drank before, so much for drowning. This isn't supposed to happen. This wasn't the plan!

"Yeah I'll be right out," I called out.

I wiped my eyes with my fingers getting rid of the tears that maybe have fallen. I stared at my hands and saw blood dripping down them.

"What the hell?" I gasped in distress. My eyes were bleeding. Is this what happens to vampires?

I quickly got up from the bath, grabbed the towel from the rack next to the tub. I wrapped the towel around me and headed for the mirror. I took a look at myself in the mirror. My face was the same but blood was dripping down my eyes like tears.

_Oh my god._

I quickly washed it off and wiped my face dry. I took a look at myself once again, I looked the same. My hair was still brown and came down to my back, I could see my light brown eyes clearly now that the blood was gone but they were still dull, cheekbones still high, nose still small, lips just a bit paler than its usual red tint. My skin that covered my small and short frame was pale, but the same colour I get when winter comes and my body is covered with clothes, but it was summer and my skin usually glowed with a natural tan at this time. Maybe it was the lighting or maybe it was because I might be a fucking vampire.

"Why is the tub all bloody?"

I jumped in surprise. Eric towered over me with his eyes looking at the tub. The man was like a giant compared to me. The top of my head barely reached his shoulders.

"I don't know..?" I answered wrapping the towel around my body tighter. I was still naked and he was lurking really close to me. It made me feel uneasy more than a usual person does.

"Were you crying?" he asked placing a hand on my cheek.

"No," I said flinching away.

"Yes," he corrected holding my chin and lifting my face up so that I could face him. His light eyes were boring into mine as if searching for something. I felt uneasy from his stare but I couldn't look away.

"Ok yes, will you please tell me what is going on? Like who are you?"

He let go of my chin and touched my cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

"Try not to do it again. From now on you will be crying blood because that is all that runs in your body." He answered flatly.

It wasn't even my question. He wasn't answering anything that I was asking him. This was getting so irritating I felt like I was going to explode. I felt the urge to kill someone and every passing second that someone was becoming Eric.

"Who are you? What the hell is going on?" I urged him to tell me.

"I'm sure your undergarments are still wearable. This is all I can find." He said handing me a black shirt and a pair of gray tracksuit pants.

"Why won't you answer my questions?" I asked staring up at him trying to catch his eyes.

"Patience. Change," was all he said and walked out of the bathroom.

I changed into the clothes so quickly hoping that once I got out of the bathroom Eric would finally give me answers… or else I was tempted to maybe rip his head off.

"This shirt is too big," I muttered as I got out of the bathroom, "and so are these pants." I grumbled feeling dejected at my appearance. The black shirt he had given me was probably his and that meant that it was 2-3 sizes bigger and the pants would be falling down at my feet if I didn't tie the strings together so tight around my hips. I didn't even have shoes on.

"It will do."

I gasped in surprise, "Why do you keep scaring me like that?"

"When do your questions end?" he said walking over to my side looking down at me.

"When you finally answer them," I answered.

"First we have to go somewhere."

I looked up at him and noticed again that he was so tall. On a normal day I felt short I was just over 5 feet and this mystery man looked like he was around 6'3" and it made me feel shorter than usual.

"Are you serious?" This was getting pretty damn annoying.

"Come," he wrapped his hand around my arm and dragged me out of his bedroom. I looked around as he walked me out there was a staircase to our left, a door in front of us, another door a few feet next to his door and a living room of some kind in front of it. It was a pretty small house but I was curious on what was behind the other two doors. He led me up to the staircase and through the door at the end of it. He opened it and revealed a first floor of a modern house. All this time we were underground. I looked around the walls were all white and matched the white and black furniture. It was a big house. If he had all this why would he sleep in that tiny basement?

"It's light tight down there, we don't sleep in coffins anymore some of us still prefer it but I don't. The sun is still a problem," Eric suddenly spoke.

"That wasn't one of my questions." I grumbled in annoyance.

"But you were going to ask one." he said in a matter of fact way.

Ugh if I could just reach up and punch him. But I'd probably miss.

"Yeah but I'd rather you answer one of the more important ones," I mumbled.

He just kept silent and smirked to himself. We went outside and I noticed it was night time. I didn't even realise or have thought of what day or time it was. He took me to his garage where he had a black convertible parked and a black BMW. He got me to hop in the passenger seat of the black BMW. I felt the urge to make a run for it. So when Eric made his way to his side of the car I quickly opened the door and ran.

I felt my surroundings go past me rather quickly. _Whoa,_ I thought. I was running really fast. I looked back to see if Eric had noticed then suddenly I crashed into something hard.

"Ouch," I groaned in pain as I fell to the ground. I looked up and checked what I crashed into. The tall blonde haired man was in front of me.

"You can't outrun me." Eric said as if he was bored. He dragged me back into the car and locked the doors quickly before I could get a chance to blink.

"Stay." He said like I was his pet dog.

I sat in his car quietly, defeated and it felt like whatever I do I couldn't get away so I just gave up. We drove in silence with my eyes focused on my surroundings. Everything looked unfamiliar. I have never been here before.

Suddenly Stockholm Syndrome was in my head. I was held in captive and I wasn't doing much about it. But it wasn't Stockholm syndrome, I didn't like my kidnapper, he actually annoyed me a lot, but even if I did I was sure it wasn't that. I was always good with strangers, because the less I know about the person the better. I was a person who had trouble talking to people that I have known my whole life. Knowing things about people made them so difficult to be around with. Eric not talking to me and not telling me anything about himself was quite perfect. Even though it annoyed me I preferred it that way. I just wish he would tell me about why he turned me into a vampire and where we were going. I would be the perfect candidate for a kidnapping for example now. I wouldn't scream or fight them. I'd just want answers why.

Still what do vampires do anyway? Except for the obvious ones like drinking blood, killing people and not being able to go in the sun. What else didn't I know? Was I really one?

"What no questions? That is surprising. And I was just getting used to your voice," He spoke. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was smirking. I wish I could wipe that smirk of his face.

I didn't answer I kept my arms tucked around my stomach and gave him a huff of annoyance. If he wasn't going to give me answers I wasn't going to talk to him or look at him. I had a lot of questions but it would be a waste of time voicing them out when he wouldn't answer me. What was his problem anyway? Turning me into this creature and not telling me why and what I can do with it. The whole mysterious man was getting pretty old.

'Cause you're working building a mystery holding on and holding it in

Yeah you're working building a mystery and choosing so carefully

"Building a Mystery" - Sarah McLachlan

* * *

**Authors Note:** A filler and it's a long un.. Ramblings of a crazy woman... next one won't be as long.


	3. Don't Save Me

**Chapter 3: Saved**

"Welcome to Fangtasia," Eric announced as he parked the car in front of a bar. "This is my establishment. You will work here once everything is settled."

"It's not very popular," I said as I looked around. It was dead. There was only one car parked next to us.

"We're closed on Monday nights," he said getting out of the car. He went to my side of the car and opened the door for me, "do not even try running away."

"What time is it?" I asked then added, "You can at least answer that one."

"Almost midnight," he answered dragging me by the arm inside the bar.

It's Monday or early Tuesday. Eleven o'clock Sunday night I fell out of a window. It had been 24 hours or so since the incident, unless that was a week ago but I highly doubt it.

"Pam," he called out.

The place was empty and dark with red and black walls with a bar against the wall, a few tiny stages with poles attached to them. It was like a low rent burlesque bar. The whole place had a typical gothic theme to it. I've never really been to a vampire club or bar before.

"Eric I didn't know you were back." A lady suddenly came out from one of the doors.

"Lilli I want you to meet my other progeny. This is Pam," he introduced.

I look up at him and spat, "Bite me!"

I was now getting really angry.

Eric smirked and cocked an eyebrow.

_Goddamn it wrong choice of words._

"Pam, this is Lilli your new sister." He turned me towards this Pam lady. She was tall just like him but not as tall, with long dark blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and pouty full lips. She was wearing a purple tracksuit with pair of pink boots, she was beautiful. I was jealous of her. I never liked pretty blonde girls. You could never compete with them with the way I looked.

Pam made her way over to my side and looked at me up and down. The two vampires towered over me analysing me. I suddenly felt so very short and ugly.

"What is she wearing?" the lady said as she looked at me up and down. She placed a hand on my shoulder, "Oh dear,"

"Don't touch me!" I growled at her.

"I like this little thing." Pam said. "It's feisty." She ran her hand over my hair.

I growled at her again.

"Lilli behave," Eric commanded.

I glared at him and then stared at my bare feet.

"I couldn't find anything else for her to wear," he shrugged.

"Eric you didn't tell me you were turning another human."

"This," he paused and looked at me, "was unexpected."

A rush of emotion went through me. I was UNEXPECTED?

"Why did you do this to me?" I cried. I felt my legs crumble into the ground. He had done this to me without a reason?

He crouched down next to me and held up my chin. "I saw you fall through that window, I was too late to catch you. You were dying. I could not leave you there like that. I saved you," he emphasised on the word saved.

"I didn't want to be saved, I wanted to die." I spoke clearly so that he understood every word. So that he knew that I did not want this. I never wanted this.

I look up to Eric with tears falling from my eyes. He looked down at me with his mouth open as if he wanted to say something. His cold eyes suddenly turned soft.

Don't save me, I'm not the one you should be looking out for

Don't save me, I know it's a lot to ask

But don't save me, this can make things way too complicated

Don't save me

"Don't Save Me" by Sing It Loud

* * *

A/N: there you go. Thanks for the reviews!


	4. The Truth

**Chapter 4: The Truth**

"God I am so hungry," I complained.

I was on the ground blaming Eric for turning me into a vampire. Into something I didn't want to be. It was the very last thing I wanted to be, immortal. I didn't want to be a creature that could live for centuries. I wanted all this to be over. I wanted to be dead now. But I wasn't dead or technically I am, but my stomach had betrayed me it had been rumbling ever since we left Eric's house.

I watched as Eric's eyes suddenly turned cold once again.

"You are a moody one aren't you?" Eric rolled his eyes.

"Get her a Tru Blood Pam," he said grabbing me by the arms and lifting me to a chair to sit down, "we have no humans in our presence at the time. This will be temporary," he sat in front of me.

"No, can I get a cheeseburger instead?" I said wiping the tears away from my eyes.

"What do you not understand about being a vampire? The only thing you can consume is blood," his face was so close to me if he was still breathing I would be able to feel it.

"I understand nothing because you haven't told me anything!" I screamed at his face.

"You are going to be a tough one, I see this is going to be interesting," he smirked and patted me on the head, "Pam," he motioned his hand towards Pam for the Tru Blood.

"Tell me about yourself," Eric set down a Tru Blood in front of me.

At first I was reluctant to drinking the Tru Blood. I hated the taste of blood let alone an artificial blood plus it was blood, it was so unnatural. But I was so damn hungry and apparently I was now a vampire. Eric had actually confirmed it without actually saying the whole sentence _you're a vampire_. I sniffed the top of the bottle to catch a smell of the fluid inside. It smelt worse than the blood Eric had given me back at his place. My stomach grumbled in hunger once again. I took a sip and almost spat due the disgusting taste. I look up to both vampires looking at me.

Eric cocked his head as if telling me to keep drinking.

"You turned her without knowing anything about her?" Pam asked Eric sitting next to him.

"She was _dying_ Pam there were no time for questions," he emphasised the word dying.

"Only if you answer my questions," I answered Eric finally.

"I believe we can do that," he paused, "how old are you?" he continued with his first question.

"I'm twenty years old," I answered, "Where am I?"

"Shreveport, Louisiana," Eric answered.

"Louisiana?" he had dragged me all the way to Louisiana. How was that even possible?

"Where are you from?"

"I'm from New York City."

"I know that, that's where I found you. I notice your drawl is not,"

"I guess it's part Australian?"

"Is that so?" Eric seemed interested by this revelation.

"I was born there. My mother moved us to America when I was sixteen."

"That is a silly mistake, moving to America just before we came out of the coffin. There are barely any vampires in Australia, something about the sun."

He was right. Compared to America there were a lot less missing persons back in Australia. Then sun was still out around 7pm at night and most establishments were closed by 6pm. It would be hard to hunt when most humans would be home before the vampires could even come out.

"How come we're in Louisiana when it was just over 24 hrs ago that I jumped out of that window? How did you make me into this? Why did you make me into this?"

"I found you at the street. No one had seen you except me," He raised his eyebrows at me, "To turn you into a vampire I had to drain your body of blood, there wasn't much of it left when I started, I then replaced that with my own blood, I found us a fresh grave and stayed there for the rest of the night to the finish the transition."

"But how did we get to Louisiana that quickly?"

"I have special abilities that let me drag back here tonight," he said smartly, "Where are your parents?"

"I don't know I ran away from home at 18," I shrugged like it was nothing.

Eric seemed to be intrigued by this information but ignored it for now, "why did you jump out of that window?"

"I was killing myself. Obviously YOU didn't get the memo." I answered him dryly and glared at him while sipping my Tru Blood. It was still disgusting.

"I want to know why," he urged looking at me straight in the eye.

"It was the plan," I answered and took another sip of the Tru Blood. It was getting bearable by every drop.

"You planned your suicide?"Eric was surprised by my answer.

"Yes,"

"Why? Twenty years old is too young," Pam pipped in suddenly. Her eyes filled with concern.

"Because I was done, there's nothing else in this world for me,"

"How can someone be done with their life? That I do not understand," he said with an eye roll.

"I've done everything I wanted in my life, there's nothing else for me to do here. Why how old are you people?"

"One hundred twenty eight," Pam answered straight away.

I found Pam interesting. By her physical looks Pam would be either on her late twenties or early thirties. Women that age hated to be asked their age let alone give the right answer. But Pam was proud of her age. Everything about her screamed confidence and she had a certain wit and charm that I was starting to warm up to. Unlike Eric who was irritating me. Even if he was good looking his personality or lack there of trumped his looks.

"Over a thousand, I have lost count," Eric answered.

"How can you live that long? How can you bear it?"

I was curious. How can someone live over their life limit? Twenty years was enough for me, enough of this world. I lived through Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Sesame Street, over-alls, Y2K bug, and every other fad I have forgotten that has come and gone over the twenty years I lived in this world. Most people would live up to 80 years over, they do the usual, go to school, get married, have kids, have grandkids, retire and die. But vampires don't age. I would be able to prove that now with, Exhibit A: Eric no last name yet, age over a thousand years old, Exhibit B: Pam no last name yet either, age one hundred twenty. They have been in this world for a long time and have seen a lot. A lot of wrong in the world but still they keep living.

"We just do, now you can as well," Pam said as if it was nothing. "There is always something out there to live for. Didn't you want a future or something? Having children?"

"No I didn't want a future, I never saw one for myself. Didn't you want a future?" I asked both vampires.

"God no, children are not my thing," I could hear the disgust in Pams voice but Eric didn't answer he just looked away.

"I'm one person, one person in a world with billions of people. For a fact I know that one person dying doesn't make a difference. You people should know that, you kill for a living," I continued explaining. God knows why.

"The girl has a point," Eric said looking back at me.

"Please, let me die. I'm begging you," I pleaded.

This could be over soon and my plan would still be executed perfectly. I don't have to live in this world.

"That we cannot do, you are now my child, my progeny and I cannot let that happen to you, not after the trouble of turning you,"

"I don't want to be alive. There must be ways to kill a vampire?" There has to be a way to end this insanity.

"Technically you are not."

"Whatever! I don't want be breathing."

"Again you are not."

"ARGHHH! You are so -" I scream in irritation at Eric.

I felt tears run down my face. Great more blood. "I wanted to die. I wanted to be gone. I didn't want to be in this world anymore. I wanted my life to end. I was just living to die and you made me this. I don't even know you!" I shouted at him more.

"Don't you think now that you are dead, you can start living," he suggested.

"That's a load of bull," I spat at him.

"My, my, you have a mouth on you," he said with a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

"I hate you!" I spat with so much anger. I dropped my head on the table on top of my arms and cried.

I felt so sick in the stomach, crying in front of people let alone a heartless vampire, I never do this. Ever since my grandfather's death when I was 13, I have never cried in front of people. I made it my goal in life to never cry in front of people and show no emotion because no one deserved to see that part of me. Here I was crying in front of two vampires that I know nothing about. Strangers who are holding me captive and I was crying to them begging them to kill me. But they won't and I just couldn't get the tears to stop falling.

"Can I ask you why you turned her?" I heard Pam asked Eric.

"It was getting monotonous around here. It was time for another one." he paused, "and she looked so helpless."

"She said she didn't want to be helped."

"I heard. I just saw her there and I just had to. I'm not sure what it was maybe I'm going soft,"

"Why didn't you just keep her human? It would have been more fun,"

"She was dying. There was no other way,"

Eric was getting bored after over a thousand years of living. He wanted to fill his boredom by turning another human into a vampire, that human being me. He had made a wrong choice of turning me. If only he knew what he was in for, keeping me alive was one thing but living with me would be a chore for him.

"I'm still here. I can hear you!" my shout came out muffled.

Eric lifted up my head again. I wish he'd quit touching me too.

"Don't you think that now that you have lost everything, you have died, you can gain something? Live a different life?" Eric suggested another great idea. Not.

"Don't you think I've tried that? Running away at 18 wasn't the first time I did. I've tried over and over to start a different life but it doesn't work. It never works,"

"Think about this. You are a vampire. You don't have the same limitations that you had when you were human. You can do whatever you want and get away with it. Everything in your old life can be erased. Start fresh,"

"No I can't do that,"

Everything is still fresh in my memory. I just can't. This has to end.

There is a part in every day, when I lie to myself

And say that it's okay 'Cause if I don't, I think I'll go insane

But the truth is I only have myself to blame

"The Truth" – The Spill Canvas

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**A/N: **Can you now see how she's bipolar? So I don't really know how old Pam really is, just made it up. I haven't read the books but it's on the top of my to read list for the summer. I really cannot wait till my finals are over. I know it's going a bit slow but it will get somewhere pretty soon. Show me some love?


	5. Sink Into Me

**Chapter 5: Sink Into Me**

I kept quiet and it gave time for Eric to explain that his blood now runs in my body. As a maker he'd be able to feel me wherever I am, he could call me anytime and he could command me to do whatever he wanted. I was still letting that sink in. He could have just simply said that he now owns me.

After that, Pam and Eric kept interrogating me the whole night but I was done explaining myself so I just sat there in silence looking away from them and not talking. They gave up after a while and went on with their business. I listened in on their conversation. Eric was looking for someone when he found me. He had been all over the country and visited Texas, Nevada, Philadelphia, New York and was on his way to Washington when he stumbled upon me.

Pam gave me another Tru Blood AB+ when they took a breather I gave her a half smile as a thank you and she smiled back at me with a genuine smile. I had gone from growling at her to slowly warming up to her. I still didn't like Eric though.

Eric took us home around 3am. I sat in silence in his car. I asked no questions and he said nothing. I didn't try running away, because truthfully if I did run from him and got away I wouldn't know where to go. I was sure he'd find me anyway. Eric didn't need to hold on to me once we got out of Fangtasia. I figured he knew that I was done running away from him for the night anyway. I was overwhelmed by the fact that he had confirmed that I am in fact a vampire now. I am immortal I could live for a thousand years if I wanted. Only I didn't want that. I was supposed to be dead but instead I'm immortal, of all the things that could happen to me. Life is still a bitch.

I followed Eric inside his house. I suddenly felt like a little girl following one of her elders so that I don't get lost. I felt trapped.

"Are you alright?" Eric asked before we got to the basement door. He sounded concerned if that was possible.

"I guess so," I shrugged. It wasn't like I could do anything else. I don't think he believed me, "where do I sleep then?"

"Come," he said as he opened the door that led to his little underground home. We went down the stairs and instead of opening the door to the room we were earlier that night he opened the door across from it.

"This is going to be your room,"

I looked around. The room was smaller than what I presumed Eric's room. It had a double bed against the red wall with black silk sheets, a dresser, a small fridge and a bathroom inside the room.

"The fridge is filled with bottled blood, drink before you rest or when you wake up,"

"Thanks,"

He smiled at me. No smirk no grin just a simple smile. Something inside of me churned. I didn't know what to make of it.

"I will need to lock you inside you room tonight, from what you have told us tonight you have tendencies to-"

"Kill myself," I finished his sentence for him.

"Good night," he said as he closed the door behind him.

"Yeah,"

I was alone for the first time that night. I had only me and my mind. I hated being alone with my thoughts, I get a million ideas and most of them point to a certain death. Good thing was that I already tried killing myself last night and it didn't work. I was dead-man or a dead-woman but not the dead I wanted to be. Now that I have attempted my suicide the thoughts of trying it again will pass soon and I will be back to normal, hopefully. As I said before it wasn't like I had a choice. Eric owns me. What's worse is that I am going to live with my thoughts and memories for eternity. That I cannot accept. This insanity will end. I will make sure of it.

Until then, I will just have to deal. I was still wrapping my head around the fact that I'm a vampire. Tonight had been such a mess, of me and of my emotions, in front of strangers too. I guess that was better than people I know.

I was tired and have had enough for one night. I went to bed and closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep. I hoped that vampires don't dream. Nightmares were another thing I couldn't handle.

It turns out I had a pretty decent sleep. Once I closed my eyes I was fast asleep and didn't wake until past 6pm according to the clock on the wall, just like my normal wake up time. I was always a night person I guess that made being a vampire easy.

I was still locked in my room though, so I showered and snooped around. There were no clothes in the dresser and the bathroom only had a towel and a white robe. The room was empty and I was getting pretty bored and hungry.

I raided the fridge for blood. As much as it disgusted me to drink blood it was all I could consume. Eric had been telling the truth when he said the fridge was full of blood. The blood was encased in glass bottles, as if it was just like soft drinks if they came from humans that is. I drank a whole bottle, and then just sat on my bed looking at the empty bottle when an idea came to me.

I crushed the bottle between my hands, the glass digging into my palm. I grabbed a bigger piece from the ground and placed it on my wrist. I pierced it through my skin and sliced my whole arm. I maybe slightly insane but I was never a cutter, I hated pain and sight of blood. But I have to try everything now that I am immortal and hoped that it may work. I could bleed out before Eric comes and get me if he does come and get me.

I waited as my arm dripped with blood. I was amused and let down at the same time when my arm healed itself. I took a look at my palm and noticed that it had healed as well.

_Damn it! I wonder if it's like that all over my body._

I sliced my leg, my arm and my stomach. All of them healed straight away. _So this is how vampires live forever. _

I was slicing my arm again and again I even carved my name on my thigh and watched it heal itself in amusement when I heard my door open. I look up to see the infamous Eric wearing yet again black clothes.

"What are you doing?" Eric asked wide eyed and puzzled.

"It heals right away," I answered and ignored him.

"Stop, you are the most unusual person I have met," he grabbed the piece of glass from my hands and threw it out of my room.

"Thank you, I take that as a compliment," I smiled at him and then glared.

Eric didn't seem to understand what I was saying, "Let's get you some clothes."

"Can Pam go with me instead?"

I didn't like Eric. He was good to look at sure, but he had made me into this. It was hard to like someone who made you something you never wanted to be. He was also a guy and it was very hard shopping with guy.

"She's in charge of Fangtasia tonight. You'll just have to deal with me."

I grumbled and agreed to go with him, I really did need clothes. I didn't want to go out of the house wearing the clothes I had on. I looked like a homeless person. I was forced to wear my dirty jeans and I borrowed a shirt from Eric. It was still too big so I had to tie it at the back.

We drove to the nearest mall. Once we walked in I was engulfed with a delicious stench. I could hear every heartbeat in the building, it was almost deafening. There were a lot of humans going about their own business. A lot of them stared as we walked past. It was like they knew we were vampires. Or we just made an odd pair, a blonde giant and a brunette midget. I just kept my head down and avoided their stares and tuned out their heartbeats. Eric let me choose whatever clothes I wanted and said he'd pay for it because I had no means of paying without a wallet or even an ID with me. I got a couple of dark jeans, shorts, shirts, jackets, underwear and shoes, enough to get me by. I changed into a black tank top that fitted me, a dark hooded jacket and a clean pair of pants after Eric had paid for them. He was sitting on the couch inside the dressing room when I got out of my stall he had extra bags along with the ones we had before. I took a few bags off him as we made our way out of the store.

I looked into one of them and saw a dark lace dress.

"Every girl needs to have a little black dress," was all he said about it. I found a couple of dresses hidden in a few of the shopping bags. They must be for Pam.

Later that night we drove to Fangtasia. The place was at full swing when we got there, dark electronic music played through the speakers and the noise of a number of conversations filled the room. Humans and vampires filled the place mingling together. Both were mostly dressed in leather with crazy hairstyles going around. They looked like the Goths I used to see around New York so it wasn't new to me. I even had a gothic phase when I was younger. I just never have seen so many in one place. There were so many people wearing black. It wasn't just a fiction that vampires like to wear dark colours it was a fact. I guess I blended in colour-wise anyway.

I could see Pam from across the room she stood out in her red leather skin tight dress. She waved at us and gave me a playful smile looking at me up and down across the room. She didn't come close to us, she was talking to another vampire I presumed. There were two dancers at each pole between Pam, the crowd and Eric and I. One was a long haired female wearing skimpy clothes and the other was male wearing only a pair of shorts that clearly highlights his well endowed package. I had to look away from both and ended up facing Eric.

"See anything you like?" Eric referred to my eyes gazing into his dancers.

"No, this place is uhh-" I couldn't find the right word. Despicable?

"It's very unpopular," he said mocking me.

I gave him a scowl as he led me through the crowd. I ignored the stares of the males that we passed by and stayed close to Eric. I hated bars. At least Eric seemed to held authority over everyone in the bar. He sat down at the throne I had noticed the night before and made me sit to the chair next to his. I tried to drown out the noise and focused on whatever stain I could see on the ground. Everyone seemed to be talking about me. I could hear every conversation had the sentence _who's that little vampire with Eric? _I even caught a few calling him sheriff. I was the talk of the town and all eyes were on me.

"Hungry?" Eric asked looking down at me from his chair.

"Not really," I answered self-conscious of all the eyes that were watching our every move.

"I would have taught you how to feed on humans if you were, Or would you like to mainstream?" he asked raising one of his eyebrows.

"I want to learn," I answered. I might as well feed off one of the nosy humans.

Eric smirked impressed by my answer.

"Good choice, you will only feed on humans that I have provided for you and the ones who offered themselves to you. You will not feed on someone who is unwilling,"

"Seriously?" I wasn't allowed to feed on the unwilling when he unwillingly turned me into a vampire.

"The occasional unwilling ones are quite fun but are not for you. I make the rules." Eric motioned his hand calling a black haired guy towards us, who I had noticed have been lurking for a while, "I believed you'd like male?"

I nodded.

"Will you let my little vampire to feed on you," Eric asked the guy.

"Gladly," he answered looking up at me up and down.

I rolled my eyes. Guys are still the same even if you're a vampire.

"Hey I'm Da-" he tried to introduce himself.

"I don't need to know your name," I cut him off.

Eric smirked proudly. "The neck is a good place to start,"

I felt uneasy about biting a stranger in the neck. It was like Eric sensed my emotions when he finished his sentence with, "or his wrist."

"Find a nerve if you like, you'll be able to sense it," he instructed.

I grabbed the guy's wrists and found a pulse. I gave Eric a nod telling him I had found one.

"Focus on it and let your fangs come out,"

And I did. My body tensed as I let the rhythm of the guy's heartbeat surround me. Suddenly I felt my canines elongated into fangs.

Eric clicked his tongue then said, "Good, now let your fangs sink into his skin and let your instinct do the rest,"

Sharpen your teeth, sink into me, sink into me

"Sink Into Me" - Taking Back Sunday

* * *

**A/N:** Tsk we have one unusual vampire here.


	6. Not What You Had Planned

**Chapter 6: This is Not What You Had Planned**

I pushed away the guy's wrists in disgust. I wiped my mouth off the blood that dripped down my chin. My tongue made contact with the tip of my fangs as I cleaned my mouth of the remaining blood. It's official I'm a freak show.

"Anything wrong?" Eric questioned.

"Smoker," I replied not looking at him or the stranger I just drank from.

"Interesting," Eric said with a smirk, "go." he motioned the guy to get lost.

I excused myself from Eric and made my way to the ladies to clean myself up. I look up and notice most eyes on me. Couldn't these people mind their own business? I glared at them as I walked past them.

Once I got to the ladies room it was empty. I looked at myself at the mirror. My mouth was covered with blood. I opened my mouth and saw that my fangs had disappeared. I never even got the chance to see them. I thought about it and drew them out. Then I saw them, fangs protruding from my mouth. Yup freak show.

I washed my face and got rid of the traces of blood left on my skin. I was wiping my face dry when Pam entered the room.

"You look better," Pam said looking at me up and down, "although we can do much more with you,"

"Thanks I guess," I said raising an eyebrow, not sure if Pam was complimenting me or insulting me.

"Eric wanted me to ask you what you used to do for a living," she walked closer to me taking out a lipstick from her purse, "to see what you can do around here," she traced her lips with blood red lipstick, she offered it to me.

I declined, shook my head no and answered, "I was a baker,"

"That won't be much help around here," she said placing a hand on her hips.

"You're trying to figure out how I can work in Fangtasia right? Well I'll tell you now there is no way in hell that I'll be dancing at those poles,"

"We don't expect you to. Our dancers are humans it appeals more to the vampires that comes to the bar,"

"I used to be a waitress a few years ago,"

"Alright you can start tomorrow and Eric wants you in his office,"

I nodded. I made my way out and went towards Eric's office. Pam followed behind me.

"You rang?" I said sarcastically as I walked into his office. Eric was sitting behind a desk.

"Yes, I want to continue our conversation yesterday,"

"Are we still on that topic? I'm fine. I'll live or be the undead whatever!" I answered and sat on one of the chairs in front of him.

"Tell me how someone with your attitude would want to kill themselves,"

"Didn't we cover this last night? It was the plan but its ruined now so I'll be whatever you want me to be _Master,_"

"You seem hard headed and strong. But killing yourself seems -"

"Weak," I interrupted him and finished his sentence for him, "so that's what this is about. You think I'm weak. So you think you made a weak vampire." I laughed darkly, "I'm not weak. Up until two nights ago I was human. There's only so much pain humans can take. You don't know me, do not judge me. If you're wondering if I can make it in your vampire world don't worry I can handle myself."

If I was going to get through this if he won't let it go, fake it till you make it. I will show him that most part of me doesn't take shit from anyone. I may have tried killing myself but that doesn't make me weak. Everything that happened that night everything that I decided to do had been led by past experiences. One thing I hated from people is that they assume to know me. When they have no idea who I am and what I am.

"Okay,"

"Okay," I repeated.

"You will not try and kill yourself again?" he inquired.

"For the moment," I answered. The thought had passed for now. I didn't have anything to live for but maybe I could make something out of being a vampire. I heard revenge is sweet and I have eternity to do it.

Eric sighed, "You know nothing of the whereabouts of your family?"

"I do, but I don't call them family,"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, do you seriously think that I would still be here with you if I had a family? If I did I would be running back to them wanting to be with them but I don't so lucky you, you don't get to have a pet attached to humans,"

"Pam and I are your family now,"

"Yeah, whatever,"

We left it at that.

xxx

I kept my promise to Eric I didn't try and find ways to end my life. I just went along with the flow. Just like my life back in New York.

A week or so had passed. I started working as a waitress and hostess at Fangtasia, but I refused to wear what most of the employees there. Most nights I'm inside serving drinks to vampires and humans but some days I'm outside checking ID's with Pam. There were times when things die down that Eric made me sit next to him up in his throne. The man did not do a thing but sit there and lure girls to feed from. Although the girls didn't need to be lured they offered themselves willingly to him. He was nice enough to share them. I still cannot feed from the neck even though my instincts have told me to do so a few times. It's just a bit too intimate and too early in my opinion anyway.

After a nights work Eric and I would go home and he didn't need to lock me in my room. On the nights that we come home early I got the chance to tour his whole house and the basement. He had a collection of antique books, furniture and artefacts that interested me. It showed that Eric had been around a long time. It made me think that I could live that long and see the world change, but then didn't I just want to kill myself a few days ago. For now I was going to spend my nights at Fangtasia five nights a week, then we'll see what happens.

The customers were almost the same every night. The first few nights some of the cocky vampires tried hitting on me and I put them on their place. Showing Eric and Pam that I can handle myself, they were surprised and proud but were always close by. After a few incidents most of the vampires in the club were wary of me. It was kind of cool that vampires were scared of me. I served the same vampires and humans every night I was even memorising their orders. Everyone was almost familiar to me.

But one vampire stood out from the crowd in my eyes. He was always at Fangtasia. Every night I worked he was always there chatting up vampires and humans. I always noticed him because my senses had been amplified I could feel his stare from across the room just like Eric watching my every move. I served him a lot but he never said more than a 'thanks' to me.

Tonight was a different story though, he was alone. I took his usual order an O negative Tru Blood. He gave me a smile before I headed to the bar to get his drink. His eyes didn't leave me for a second. When I turned around from the bar and walked over to him. He was still looking at me when he usually turns away when I catch him staring. I placed the Tru Blood on his table. His hands immediately wrapped around mine and didn't give me the chance to let go of his drink. I snatched my hand away quickly and stared at him.

"Thanks," he said with a smile.

I was wearing the pair of pumps Pam had bought me (she said I needed the height to serve the vampires.) The blonde haired vampire still stood a few inches taller than me. I looked at him up and down, this time really looking at him. The vampire was good-looking, he was tall but not too tall, his sandy blonde hair was long and came down just under his chin and he had olive green eyes. He was wearing black tight jeans with a pair of black sneakers and an oversized gray shirt. He didn't really blend in well with all the black leather covered vampires with crazy dos, just like I didn't blend in either.

"Hey I'm Alex," he introduced himself.

"Lilli," I laughed.

"What's funny?" the blonde haired vampire, Alex asked.

"Took you a while, you've been here every night since I started working here and I've noticed," I answered.

"Oh really you've noticed. Maybe I just like this bar did you think of that," he grinned.

"Maybe, but is that the truth?" I smirked.

"No," he chuckled defeated. "I do like this bar I've been going here for a few weeks now it's different," he said looking around, "but what kept me coming back is you,"

"Really? So why did it take you that long to introduce yourself?"

"Maybe I was kind of intimidated. I was here when you got groped and hit on by that vampire and you threatened to stake him where the sun doesn't shine,"

"Ah that glorious moment," I chuckled and smiled at him, "look he's over there," I waved at a vampire across the room wearing a biker jacket. He smiled nervously and turned away.

Alex smiled back, his eyes twinkling at the same time. Suddenly, I felt tiny butterflies in my stomach. I didn't even think that was possible anymore.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"I'm twenty," I answered.

"I mean vampire age," he corrected.

"A week and a half or so,"

"Wow, _that _young and most of the vampires here are scared of you," Alex sounded amused.

"Hey that's just my charm," I smiled proudly, "and it helps that Eric Northman is my maker,"

"I kind of figured that when you sat next to him that first night,"

"You rang?" Eric pipped in suddenly. He was lurking behind me.

"No," I said turning to him.

"Who's this?" Eric asked me, looking at Alex.

"This is Alex," I introduced to Eric, "Alex, this is Eric,"

"You've been coming around here quite often Alex,"

Eric had noticed too. What didn't he know?

"Your bar has a certain charm," Alex replied looking at me with a smile.

"I need you in my office Lilli," Eric said not looking at me but kept his stare at the other blonde haired vampire.

I waved bye to Alex as I walked away from him.

Eric headed back to his office and I followed behind him. I stood close to the wall and waited for Eric to speak. Only he didn't speak he just stood a few feet away from me looking at me. The vampire was as unpredictable as me. It made me squirm the way his eyes were focused on me and that we were alone in his office. He took a step forward towards me.

It was a good thing that my heart had stopped beating because the way Eric was closing in on me I was sure if I was still human my heart would be pounding against my chest wanting to get out. What the hell was he doing?

"Just because your heart doesn't beat anymore doesn't mean that I can't hear it beating. My blood runs through your body I can feel everything inside of you." He whispered into my ear.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I breathed out nervously.

He placed his face right in front of mine his eyes staring intently into mine. His lips gently touched mine and within a few seconds he pulled away.

"I just wanted a taste, before he does,"

I pushed him away as hard as I could. He hit the wall as frames fell on his head. I ran over to him and kicked him in the crotch.

"You are such an asshole!" I screamed not realising my fangs had come out.

"Eric," Pam gasped. She was suddenly next to me. "Oh my god. What did you do to him?"

Eric smirked with his fangs out, "It was nothing."

I glared at him as hard as I could. "I'm going home!" I screamed and quickly ran out of his office.

"Goodnight Lilli," Eric laughed.

"Eric, why do you play with her like that?" I could hear Pam asked and Eric laughed as a reply.

I made my way through the busy crowd of vampires and humans desperately needing to get out of Fangtasia. A hand suddenly grabbed a hold of my wrist. I had the urge to just slap whoever was holding my wrist knowing well that it might be Eric. I turned around and saw Alex with a worried look on his face.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," I tried to smile, "I have to go home, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," he grinned and let go of my wrist.

Maybe vampires weren't too bad. If they looked like and was as nice as Alex.

xxx

I waited a few hours after Eric had gone home before getting out of bed. I was sure it was morning outside and that Eric would be resting and he wouldn't be disturbed. I quietly slid out of my room. I tiptoed towards the door the leads to the staircase. I reached for the doorhandle slowly.

"Ow. What the hell?" I winched in pain as the silver burned through my skin.

"Silver. It's harmful to vampires,"

I jumped in surprise. I quickly turned around and saw Eric towering over me. I said nothing but just stared at him trying not to look down at his bare torso, not after what happened earlier that night.

"I had that installed last night and where do you think you are going?" He asked.

"I wanted to meet the sun," I muttered.

He held on to my shoulders and gripped them tight.

"You are staying in my room,"

"I'll go back into my room. I promise." I insisted. I didn't want to be in the same room as him let alone his bed.

"You are such a flight risk," he didn't wait for my answer he picked me up so quickly that in less than a second he had dropped me on his bed. "You are a part of me now. I cannot let you die. I thought we were done with this," he sighed in a frustrated manner.

"Now rest, you need your strength."

"I'll be fine in my room," I argued.

"I will not let you out of my sight," he wiped a blood dripping down from his nose and climbed into bed with me.

"This is weird Eric," I grumbled. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Shut up and sleep," he whispered into my ear.

"You're not really my type Eric," I squirmed.

"I beg to differ and shhh." he hushed me and held on to me tighter.

He really didn't want me to die. He stayed awake just to make sure that I was resting even though I really wasn't. He cared that much and wants me to stay alive as a vampire. Before I fell asleep a thought crossed my mind. No one had cared for my life as much as this. If Eric was so invested on keeping me alive,

_Maybe I'll give this being a vampire a shot._

xxx

'Cause nothing's worse than a vacant town, yeah still looking for the answers that I haven't found

With each new fact I'm learning my mind feels like it's turning away from you

"This Is Not What You Had Planned" by Powerspace

* * *

**A/N:** She's still a bit weird.. I'd really like to know what you guys think of the story so far… feedback please?


	7. Blue Eyes

**Chapter 7: Blue Eyes**

"Nothing was beautiful and everything hurt,"

"What the?" I grumbled. Opening my eyes and seeing Eric leering over me, his arm still around my waist.

"I believe the saying is _everything was beautiful and nothing hurt_, that is wrong," he said jabbing a finger at my ribs.

"Ow," I flinched in pain, "what are you talking about?"

"Your ink," he answered touching my rib again without force this time and ran his finger on my side, "I've always liked women who have art on their bodies, but yours is depressing."

"What are you talking about?"

He lifted my shirt and exposed my ribs where the words _nothing was beautiful and everything hurt _was tattooed on my skin

"You were looking at my body while I slept?" I shouted, pulling my shirt down and hoping he hadn't seen the scars on my back.

Eric just looked at me with a smirk. I glared at him and got up and sat on his bed hugging me knees. I felt invaded.

"Anyway, I didn't want to do this to you. But I'm going away for a few days. I need to make sure you are safe," He said rolling over and stared at the ceiling. He placed his arms under his head.

I looked away quickly realising that he was still shirtless. I could see from the corner of my eye the contour of the muscles in his stomach. I wanted to smash my head against the wall when my eyes travelled from his well toned stomach down to the fabric of his pants. I did not have time for this. God damn him for kissing me last night.

"What are you going to do?" I asked looking at his face and away from his pants. His eyes turned to me.

"As your maker I command you not to kill yourself," he voiced out in a serious tone.

"Gee. Thank you again Master," I sighed and I rolled my eyes at him.

Okay bad thoughts gone.

"You will stay with Pam while I am gone, she'd love to have you. She said something about changing your look,"

"I'm fine here. You've already commanded me not to do anything what's the harm of being alone?"

"You still have to work and have no way of getting there,"

"I can run,"

"Do you know the way?"

"Uh-" I thought about it and answered, "no," I had gotten Pam to drop me off last night.

"To Pam's it is," Eric said jumping out of bed and grabbed a bag from underneath the bed.

"You're leaving tonight?" I asked, "that soon?"

"I was going to tell you last night but you attacked me," he said with a smirk. He turned away from me and went through his dresser and placed certain garments into the bag.

"You deserved it," I muttered.

Eric must've heard me. He spun around with a bigger smirk on his face. I grabbed a pillow from behind me and threw it at him. He caught it with a laugh.

"You are so irritating," I said getting out of bed.

"Back at you," Eric replied, "pack your stuff and get ready, we'll leave in half an hour."

I packed a bag of clothes and cleaned myself up for work. Then Eric and I made our way to Pam's. I had never been to Pam's house. Outside it looked like a typical suburban house. It wasn't as big as Eric's but it was still fairly large. She had the same set up as Eric she had a tiny abode underground with walls painted in hot pink it burnt my eyes.

We took Pam's car to Fangtasia and were sitting around Eric's office waiting for opening time.

"This is going to be fun," Pam said and smiled at me playfully, "it's been a while since I dressed up someone."

"We can cut your hair, style it maybe," Pam suggested, touching the tips of my hair, "ooh I have the perfect outfit for you!"

I fidgeted, "I don't want a haircut."

Eric just chuckled and sat back on his chair, waiting for someone to help him with his flight tonight over the phone.

"Come on, It's time to open the doors," Pam pronounced and walked out of the room.

I followed behind her. I was going to be at the doors for the first half of the night with Pam. It was Friday, the end of the week and the first few drinks were half off for humans. That means there were more people in the bar as usual. There were also more servers on tonight so I didn't have to do much work. I just check ID's and stamp their hand. When Pam and I walked out to the front door the line was so long I couldn't see where it ended. It was going to be a busy night at Fangtasia.

An hour later people were still showing up. Pam had gone inside to mingle with her customers and I was left alone with a muscly Theodore, my vampire bouncer for the night, to deal with the others. I had seen Alex at the middle of the line. I called him over to make his way to the front.

"Hey you don't have to line up, now that you know my name," I joked and I stamped his hand.

"I am a customer, it's just courtesy," he said with that familiar smile that made my stomach churn a bit.

"Whenever you see me outside just come up and I'll let you in straight away,"

"Okay, you coming inside?" he asked.

"Later maybe when it dies down," I answered.

"Buy you a drink then?"

"Maybe," I replied with half a smile.

Alex walked inside with his hands in his pockets and with a smile playing on his lips.

"Next," I called out, "ID?" I grab the guys ID and looked at his age.

I stared up at the human and noticed his eyes were big, bright and blue behind a mess of dark hair. I blinked a few times at him and swore that I knew him. I looked at his ID Aaron Humphrey. I look at him again and realised he just looked like him. It wasn't him. It couldn't be him.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No," I stamped his hand, ".. uh you can go inside."

Ever since I woke up as a vampire he had been on the back of my mind. I was supposed to be dead. I didn't need to see him. He certainly didn't need to see me. That is what I have kept telling myself these past few days. Tonight it almost didn't matter what I thought, it's been too long. I wanted, no, I needed to see him.

A hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my thoughts. I look up to Eric looking down at me. "I'm leaving," he said.

"Oh ok, have fun wherever you are going,"

"Behave," he said pointing a finger at me.

"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled in reply.

Once he was out of sight I asked Theodore to take over for me. Surely he could read and would be able to stamp their hands. I went inside. I had never seen the club this busy before. It must be because it's Friday and a full moon. Pam was mingling as usual and I could see Alex had found someone to talk to. I noticed that most of the humans were intoxicated rather early at night. It was perfect. I swiped a random drunk guy's wallet as I walked past. I made my way into Eric's office and locked myself inside. I walk over to his desk and searched for the telephone number of the airline Eric had just called earlier that night.

"Anubis air, Anica speaking how can I help you?" the woman from the phone greeted.

"Is there a flight from Shreveport to New York tonight?" I inquired.

"As a matter of fact there is…. it's in an hour would that be too soon? Or would you like to wait till tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night what time is that?"

"There is a flight that departs at 9.30pm and arrives at New York at 1.30am,"

"Could book one seat for Lilli Cervando?"

"Gladly. Now is the passenger a vampire or a human?"

"Vampire,"

"Is a coffin necessary?"

"You tell me, I'm kind of new at this."

"For safety it is advised for a vampire to travel in a coffin but seeing that your flight is during night time it would be cheaper without."

"Cheaper and without then,"

"Alrighty, that's all booked for you now Ms. Cervando we'll just need your credit card details,"

"John Dorian," I read out the name of the credit card I stole and gave the rest of the details.

"Thank you for your patience, you can just pick up your ticket when you get to the airport."

"Thanks,"

I had to see him. I needed him.

xxx

The next night we opened early. Saturdays were as busy as Fridays, maybe even busier. There were more human tourists on the weekends seeking thrills so they go to our bar.

I had stayed at Pams last night. She woke me up earlier than I usually woke up during the night. She said she wanted to dress me up and give me makeover. I was irritated not at the fact that she was going to use me as a living mannequin, it was at the fact that she woke me up. I liked my rest. She put on makeup on my face and played with my hair. She gave my eyes the smoky effect, made me wear a red lipstick and did other things to my face. She also got me to wear some of her clothes. I was wearing a corset that made my chest stick out underneath a black jacket (thank god for that), I wore a black skirt over fishnet stocking and black high heeled boots. I looked like gothic Barbie or something. It was so uncomfortable and I didn't suit it at all, but Pam was delighted by the end result. I was definitely not.

It wasn't bad enough that I was dressed like this. Alex came in early tonight and I didn't even get a chance to tone down my clothing and makeup. I somehow cared what he thought of me.

"Don't you look nice," Alex said looking at me up and down.

I wasn't sure if he was complementing me.

"Ugh," I scoffed, "Pam's turned me into her vampire Barbie doll."

"Doesn't she look lovely?" Pam appeared out of nowhere, "I'm Pam, and you are?"

"Alex," he said sticking out his hand for her to shake.

Pam and Alex had started a conversation and she was distracted. Behind me was a temperamental vampire who easily got into fights, in front of him was a friend of his also temperamental and a little psychotic. The vampire behind me was holding on to a fresh Tru Blood, still hot from the microwave. I pushed back as hard as could on his back and ran quickly behind the bar. I watched as he spilled his drink all over the other vampire. Next thing I know punches were getting thrown and other vampires joined in. Pam reacted quickly and called over Theodore and Stan the bartender to break up the fights. I was alone behind the counter. I grabbed my bag from underneath the bar and opened the cash register and swiped a couple hundred dollars, then ran out of Fangtasia as fast as I could. I had a plane to catch.

I had only one person that I was going to miss when I died. I never got to say goodbye to him. I knew that if I did, seeing him would stop me from what I was doing. I was going to hurt him I knew that but I wasn't going to be around to see him suffer. But I wasn't dead I was still around and I desperately missed him. I hadn't gone this long without seeing him or hearing his voice.

xxx

One taxi ride to the Shreveport airport, one wardrobe change, one four hour plane ride and one taxi ride from the NYC airport and a total of four hours and fifty minutes or so later I was outside his door.

I knocked.

His big blue eyes were always the first thing I noticed.

"Derek, I knew you'd be awake," I smiled as the only person that had kept me sane for years opened the door.

I missed those eyes.

xxx

Cause Blue Eyes you are all that I need

Cause Blue Eyes you're the sweet to my mean

…Cause Blue Eyes you're the secret I keep

"Blue Eyes" by Cary Brothers

* * *

**A/N: **Yay my finals are over! Expect more updates. Sorry I keep throwing these new characters in. She has to come home sometime right? You guys get to find out about her human life soon.  
Lol John Dorian.. JD from scrubs! Maybe he's having an appletini with Dr. Acula..


	8. Tonight

**Chapter 8: Tonight**

"Oh my god, Lilli. We have been looking for you! Where have you been?" Derek grabbed me and gave me a bone crushing hug. If I was still human I probably would have winced in pain. But I wasn't. I felt myself so overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to cry. I can't cry, no not in front of him.

I looked down at his doorstep. Without an invitation I couldn't come in. He would find out what I am right away. I didn't want that.

"I thought you were dead," He whispered into my ear. "Come in," he said letting go of me.

_Thank god._ I placed one foot after the other and went inside.

"I missed you," I hugged him so tight and didn't want to let go. I stopped myself from crying. He doesn't need to know, not yet.

He winced in pain, "I-I missed you too, you're crushing me."

I let him go, "I'm sorry," I apologised I didn't realise my strength had changed since I turned into a vampire.

"It's okay," he said placing his hand on my cheek. He looked at me with those big caring eyes. "I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me gently.

I buried my face on his chest and wrapped my arms around him. I could heart his heartbeat clearly. I whimpered quietly, I didn't think I would miss him this much. I looked up to his eyes and the urge of bitting him came as I caught a glance of the vein on his neck throbbing. I hadn't fed today.

I pushed him away as gently as I could with my new strength but it was still forceful. I tried to bury the hunger deep inside of me. Derek is my best friend, I can't feed from him.

"Oh god," I gasped and clasped my hands to cover my mouth.

"What's wrong?" Derek walked over to me and held onto my arms.

"It's not you.," I said muffled.

Derek had always understood and always accepted me for who I am but this may not be one of the things that he would be able to take. He was my best friend he would understand. We had always stayed away from vampires we never wanted to get involved with them. Would he understand that I had become a monster? I shouldn't have come here.

_Damn my impulsiveness._

I unclasped my hands from my mouth. I revealed my fangs to him.

"You're a vampire?"

"I'm sorry,"

"How did this happen? I mean I went by your place and I saw your note. Is that what you meant by goodbye that you're turning into a vampire?"

"No, no that wasn't the plan," I answered grabbing his hand and dragged him to his couch to sit down.

"What was the plan? You had a note on your kitchen table and it said I'm sorry but this has to end goodbye and that was it. I couldn't find you anywhere I didn't want to know what to think! What the hell happened?"

"I – I jumped out of the window," I stuttered and broke down in tears. I couldn't control them from falling. I covered my face with my hands as quickly as I could to hide the fact that I was crying blood tears.

Derek wrapped his arms around me protectively. "No," I said pushing him away. I didn't want to see him like this. I didn't want him to see me cry.

"But why?"

"It doesn't matter I'm here. Could you grab me a wet towel?" I requested my hands still covering my blood stained face.

"Why?"

"Just get me one," I said to him with a bit more force in my voice.

"Here, what is going on?" he handed me the towel and sat next to me. I grabbed the towel from him and quickly turned away.

"Give me a second," I said and quickly wiped away the blood on my face. The tears had ended it was just a rush of emotion. My attacks were getting pretty unpredictable ever since I turned into a vampire, I couldn't control them as much as I did when I was human.

"I shouldn't have come," I scoffed, "you are so much better off without me."

"That's not true. Now tell me what happened," he said to me and ignored the bloody towel for now, "how did you become this?"

I told him about Eric and how supposedly found me on the street dying and turned me. I told him about Pam and how much I had grown to like her. I told him about the vampires at Fangtasia. I told him everything expect the times when I tried to end my life and begged for someone to kill me. Derek listened to every word I said without any interruptions.

"But you jumped out of your window, why would you do that?"

Those words did come out of my mouth. I never thought it would be so easy saying those words to him.

However, it seemed like Derek hadn't found the real letters, if he had he would know why. That was a good sign. I could go back to my place and burn them. They won't do anyone good now that I'm still around.

"It doesn't matter now,"

"It does," he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

Derek was my drug. He was the person I talked to when I had a bad day. He was the only person that could make me smile by just talking to him. He was always there for me. The only person that got me through a lot of things he doesn't know about. He was also the only person that had kept me alive and he didn't even know it. What was I going to do without him? What am I going to do when I'm back in Louisiana and he's here? Up until two weeks ago I never went a day without talking to him. He was my family.

Derek let it go. He knew when I didn't want to talk about something. He will ask again but not tonight.

"So this vampire just found you?"

"Yeah on the street apparently,"

"You didn't want this?"

I shook my head no.

"How does it feel being a vampire?"

"It sucks. Everything is all about blood now. I'm always hungry. I can't go back to who I was, even though I badly want a cheeseburger the only thing that satisfies my stomach is blood, like I can hear your blood flowing inside of you along with a few dozen people in your building,"

Derek just stared at me dumbfounded and his jaw hung open.

"Yeah I eat people now," I looked down on the ground and apologised, "I'm sorry."

"I won't eat you though," I tried to joke.

"This is so unexpected,"

"You're telling me," I sighed.

"At least you're a night person. Your bedtime doesn't change much," he said.

I laughed weakly. He was always good at saying the right things and cheering me up.

I yawned. It was getting late, I could feel the sun was about to rise soon. I felt the need to rest.

"It's getting close to dawn. I'll be back after sundown," I told him getting up from his couch.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to rest,"

"Stay here," he offered.

I looked around his apartment. He barely had any furniture even after living in the city for years. His apartment was at the seventh floor of a high-rise building. There were windows everywhere and no dark place I could rest.

"I can't, you've got windows and sun's not really a friend of mine now that I'm a vampire,"

"Like it was your friend before," he laughed, I knew he was going to say that, "but you'll be back right?"

"I'll be back," I reassured him.

"Where will you go?"

"I'll find somewhere to go,"

"Okay, be safe," he said kissing me on the forehead.

"I will," I murmured.

I made my way out to the door. I swiped the keys of his garage where he keeps his car (that he never uses because he lives in New York City) on my way out of his apartment. I made my way down to the basement and opened his garage. His old blue Toyota was covered by a black thick plastic material. I climbed under the cover and inside the backseat of his car. I pushed the backseats down so that his trunk was wider and I could fit perfectly lying down. I had to get creative. This was better than finding a hole at the cemetery and be covered in dirt. Something I learnt from Eric.

I was back home with my understanding best friend. I felt safe and at home in his arms. There was nowhere in the world I would rather be.

xxx

"Hey you're here," Derek greeted when he found me later that evening in his couch watching TV. Just like old times. I had climbed out of his car just after the sun had set. Derek was still at work when I went up his apartment.

"Yes I am," I answered.

"How did you get in?" he asked sitting next to me.

"I got your landlord let me in," I said, more like I glamoured your landlord to get me in.

"Oh, I'm glad you're back,"

"How was work?"

We both spoke at the same time and we both laughed at ourselves at the same time.

"I'm sorry," he apologised.

"So what do you wanna do tonight?" he asked normally just like he used to before I disappeared. He was also good at pretending that everything was fine for my sake. He knew about my condition and knew how to deal with it.

"I thought maybe we can swing by my apartment,"

Derek and I had to sneak into my apartment. I didn't want my landlord seeing me and charging me rent when I don't live there anymore. Seeing that I was the occupant of my apartment I was allowed to come in without an invitation. Everything looked the same from the night I left. Derek went straight to my fridge and grabbed a drink for himself. I went to my room and grabbed a bag. If I was going to go back to Louisiana I would need a few things of my own.

I grabbed the box underneath my bed. It contained everything in my life I had written it down before I tried ending my life. It also had letters to certain people including Derek explaining why I did what I did. Now that I'm still in this world, I would need to hide it or burn it and start over later. No one could see what's inside of that box, not while I am alive. I shoved it at the very bottom of my bag.

I took most of my clothes and shoes from my closet and stuffed them into my bag. I took a few of my favourite books of the shelf, my laptop from my table, my art book and my mp3 player. I took everything I need to survive in Louisiana just in case Eric comes after me. Which would be soon I presumed. I had to be ready to go back with him anytime, although I was wondering if he was going to come get me. Maybe he would give up this time, but I didn't want him to. Was it wrong of me to want him to come after me?

xxx

"Eric she's gone," Pam said nervously on the phone with Eric.

"Where is she?" Eric asked knowing well who Pam was talking about.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"There was a commotion at the bar and when I looked for her she was gone. I couldn't look after her every second."

"This is bad. This is very bad," he screeched.

"I'm sorry Eric."

Eric searched inside of him, trying to find her exact location, "I know where she is," he spoke and hung up the phone.

He dialled for the airline and asked for the earliest flight to New York City. He didn't hesitate. He couldn't just let her be. She may be a bit irritating but she was a very young vampire and wouldn't be able to fend for herself on her own in a big city. Even if she wanted to die he wanted to keep her alive.

xxx

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss you I can just look up and know the stars are

holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

"Tonight" – FM Static

* * *

**A/N:** New vampires are very impulsive right? I hope the clears the confusion, she just wanted to see her best friend. This is kind of a filler so I thought I'd just update.

I forgot to mention to thank everyone for their reviews from the last chapter. I was overly excited that I'm free from university. Anyway, thank you for the reviews.


	9. Is There No Truth In Beauty

**Chapter 9: Is There No Truth In Beauty**

The following night Derek insisted that Lilli stay the night at his place no matter what. He had found out that she slept in his car the night before and thought that, that wouldn't be too comfortable. Lilli insisted that it was the perfect spot it was dark, underground and the sun had no way of coming in. Derek still pushed that she stays at his apartment no matter what. Before dawn he wrapped her in every blanket he had at his apartment and placed her underneath his bed. Lilli had complained about how it was going to be hot underneath all the blankets. Derek asked if that mattered to vampires, Lilli just shrugged at him, he turned on the air-conditioning in his room just in case. He closed all the windows so the sun wouldn't shine into the room. He grabbed everything he need for the next day before closing the door and letting her rest, he was sleeping on the couch. They both hadn't complained about how bizarre it was wrapping her up in his blankets and placing her under his bed. They actually found it quite fun, like they were just little kids playing around.

He had his best friend back regardless of what she is, she was back.

Later that night when he got home from work Derek brought home a case of Tru Blood AB+ Lilli's choice. He found her sitting in the couch in front of the TV watching the news. She had her feet on the couch hugging them close to her chest. She looked so normal as if she was still human, but she wasn't. He sat next to her and gave her the Tru Blood and watched as his best friend drink artificial human blood. She thanked him after she had drunk one bottle. She smiled at him with her fangs visible. It was going to take some time for him to get used to that.

Derek asked if it was going to be easier for her to stay at the vampire hotel in the upper west side.

"Like I have enough money for that," she answered with a scoff.

"I thought vampires are supposed to be rich isn't the vampire who turned you rich?"

"He is I think but I didn't take enough money from the register,"

Eric walked into an apartment building. He could feel her inside. Her presence was getting stronger and stronger with every step he took. He had flown straight to this apartment right after he landed at the airport. She wasn't even in the apartment building where he found her. He didn't sense that she was in trouble but she was one of a kind. Somehow after that first night she had stopped or only showed little emotion. He didn't know how she was feeling most days, he couldn't sense it. It made it hard to figure out if she was in danger.

"Ah that was refreshing," Eric heard her sarcastic voice from the end of the hall.

"Are we ever going to talk about it?" A man's voice asked. "I know it's not in the rules but I have to know,"

"Talk about what?" Lilli asked with hesitation in her voice.

Eric was about to knock on the door when he heard, "the reason why you tried to kill yourself,"

"Does it matter? I'm here now aren't I?" Lilli said sounding like she was trying to avoid the question, "why does everyone keep asking me this," she muttered quietly.

Eric stopped himself from knocking and listened closely maybe he would find out why she was so determined to end her life. He wondered who the other guy was.

"Yes it matters. You killed yourself. You must've had your reasons. I need to know why," the guy said.

"No you don't," she answered.

"I'm your best friend, I didn't know about it. I didn't even see it coming. You were going to leave me behind."

"You've only known me a few years."

"Yes and you've barely told me about your past. I could have helped you through it,"

"It doesn't really matter now does it? I'm immortal, I've got to live with this for eternity," Lilli said trying to get away from the topic.

"Not if you tell me, I _can_ help you," he said.

"I can't do that to you. These are my baggage, my issues. No one needs to be burdened by that," she insisted.

Eric felt like he had heard this conversation before. Only he was the one with _issues. _

"Come on Lilli, you can't keep living like this, you can't keep all this to yourself. You killed yourself,"

"I can't die," she half screamed.

"Lilli, god you are so closed off sometimes!" he defended.

"Enough. I'm going for a walk," Lilli said shooing the guy away.

When Eric heard this he quickly hid but kept close where he follow her still. He didn't want to surprise her. She might run away again.

"Wait," the guy called out, "there was this man at work asking about you today he said he was your father. He asked if I knew you and if I've seen you around lately. I told him I haven't seen you. I didn't know if you wanted him to know,"

"M-my father?" Lilli's voice trembled in fear.

Eric had never heard Lilli talk about her parents. She had said she ran away from home at 18 and he figured she had her reasons.

"Did he say where he was staying?" Lilli stuttered like something was wrong.

"Yeah at the motel downtown,"

Lilli left Derek's apartment abruptly.

She made her way downtown towards the Red Horse motel. She had to see who this man was. If he claimed to be her father and if it was actually him they had a debt to be settled. It was time for him to pay. No better time now that she's a vampire to settle a debt.

xxx

You'll be waiting for the rest of your life, just so you can finally be sad,  
But words don't mean a thing, but I'll say them anyway, Anyway, yeah,  
I can't break away from these chains to my heart, the further you push me, the closer you are,  
Maybe I should try to let go, maybe I should try to walk away,

There's nothing left to say,

"Is There No Truth In Beauty" – Just Surrender

* * *

**A/N:** Third person from now on. Pictures of Lilli, Alex and Derek are up on my profile page.


	10. Run This City

**Chapter 10: Run This City**

Lilli stood outside across the motel and waited. The guy has to come out of the motel or come in. She was about to give when she stood outside for more than an hour and no one looking like her father had come in and out of their rooms. Then a tall brown haired man walked out of the room number 9. Lilli knew straight away who that man was. The sight of him made her blood boil. She hid behind the bus stop so he wouldn't see her. He walked down the street to where she was standing and walked past her. She stalked him following behind him closely, not letting him out of her sight.

She couldn't take the anticipation anymore. Once they got into a dark alley Lilli ran in front of the man, blocking his way. He was taller than her, but Lilli stood tall and held her ground. He doesn't scare her, not anymore.

"Lilli, Oh my god," the man gasped in surprise, "you scared me." He said placing a hand on his chest.

"You were the one who was always good at that," she sneered.

"It's been so long, you look -" Lilli didn't let him finish his sentence.

She grabbed him by the neck. She could feel his pulse throbbing on his neck from the palm of her hands. She was so angry. How dare he show up here? After all these years she didn't want to see him. She never wanted to see this man in her life and that was about to change. She would never have to see him again.

"L-l-illi," he choked out. She slammed him against a wall, her grip tightened on his neck. She drew her fangs out and revealed it to him.

"You're—you're a," he stuttered in fear.

"I am," she said cockily raising her eyebrows at him, "and I'm going to make you pay."

"How did you find me?" she screeched at him.

"I-I," the man stuttered.

"Tell me!" she spat.

"I-I hired a private investigator," he squirmed.

"You son of a bitch!"

Lilli hadn't been able to feed from the neck because she didn't want to cause pain on those humans who were just blood bags to Eric, but this was a different story, she didn't think of feeding from him. The taste of her blood would sicken her but he had to feel pain, just like she did. Maybe she could rip him a part bit by bit. She cocked her head to the side ready to sink her fangs in when she heard footsteps closing in on her closely. She didn't want anyone to see this. She was supposed to be discreet. Lilli looked around. There was a familiar presence around her, something connected to her.

He turned to the man. "Are you with someone?" she asked with a glare.

He shook his head no nervously. Lilli could hear his heartbeat growing faster and faster, his blood pumping through his body quickly. How badly she wanted to sink her teeth into his neck and bleed him dry and ending his life. She had imagined this moment a thousand times, she just never imagined she would be a vampire when the time comes. It was a huge advantage. Even if he fought back she would be able to take him. He was scared of her and that is what she had wanted him to feel. She never thought he would die at her hands.

"You deserve this," she whispered in his ear.

"Lilli unhand him!" Eric commanded. She turned her head around and saw the blonde vampire walking quickly over to her. She could feel everything inside her wanting to let him go. She tried her hardest to disobey Eric's words and kept her grasp on his neck.

"I can't do that," she said through her clenched teeth.

"Lilli unhand him." He said more fiercely.

Tears started streaming down her face from the pain of disobeying Eric's words. Her whole body felt like fire, her hands stiffened as she felt pain running through her skin. "Eric, Please I can't he's -"

"Whoever he is I did not provide him for you. You only get to feed on what I give you," he paused. He walked closer and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let. Him. Go." He said slowly.

Lilli's hand loosened and she took a step back. The man fell to the ground his breathing heavy from terror.

"I wasn't going to drain him," she lied and looked at the man, "He's my father," she whimpered.

"Why do you want to feed on the man who has given you life and raised you?" Eric asked her.

"Stay there," he told the man trembling in fear.

Eric crouched down and held her face up to his, "answer me Lilli."

She looked at Eric's questioning eyes.

"He may have given me life but that man did not raise me. I raised myself," she spat.

"I was nine years old when he tried to bash my head against the wall and almost died but that wasn't the start of it, all that man did was beat me to pulp everyday day of my life. Not one day passed that he didn't lay his hands on me," she belt out with all the anger inside of her, "I got away but that man deserves to die."

She could see fury flash through Eric's eyes. He quickly stood up and grabbed her father's collar and lifted him up from the ground. "Is that true?" He growled.

"Y-y-yes. I'm so- so- sorry Lilli," her father cried in fear and turned his eyes to his daughter.

"No you're not!"Lilli screamed at him wanting to rip his throat out for even saying those words to her.

"This is all your fault," she said through clenched teeth. She got up slowly from the ground. "Eric, let me, please," she pleaded. Surely he could feel her anger.

He turned to her and said, "No."

"But Eric he-"

He interrupted, "I can't let you do that. If you kill him you will have to carry that for eternity. Let me deal with this."

"But-"

"What's your name?" Eric asked as he dropped her father to the ground.

"Ra-Raoul Cervando." The man quivered in fear.

"Don't be afraid of me Raoul," Eric said looking straight into his eyes.

Eric was glamouring Lilli's father while she watched from the side. Let me deal with this didn't mean he was going to kill her father he was going to make him forget.

"What are you doing? He needs to remember this!" she shouted at him.

Eric ignored Lilli, "we were never here. You never saw your daughter."

"You were never here," the man repeated.

"Now I want you to go as far away from here as possible. Move to New Zealand go look for a very small town where no one can find you, because if I ever see you again I WILL kill you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes. I will move to New Zealand right away."

"But.. he lives in Australia," she interrupted.

"Then it won't be much of a move then,"

"Go ," Eric said and dropped him to the ground. Raoul looked at his daughter one last time before running as fast as he could to get away from the two vampires.

"He has his memory wiped but what about me? I remember EVERYTHING. I still have nightmares, why did you do that?" she grabbed hold of his arm and looked up to him, like a little kid.

Eric looked down at her and saw her eyes were filled with tears. It showed from her eyes that, that man had hurt her so much. He lifted up her chin gently with his hand and with the other he grabbed the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the tears from her eyes. She whimpered and turned away from his touch.

"He's your blood Lilli. Killing him would be worse. Those memories that you have is a reminder of what you have been through and in time it will make you a better vampire than most. If he ever tries to hurt you I will personally make sure he is dead," he took hold of her chin once more and tilted it towards his face, "no one is allowed to hurt you."

xxx

I run this city right and gritty with a heavy hand.

I do it for me, I run this city. I do it for me.

"Run This City" – Jet Lag Gemini

* * *

**A/N:** Yay double digits! Eric might be a bit OOC here.. but this is how I saw it.. This is my favourite chapter so far.. dunno what that says about me

Thanks weezer for always reviewing! I can never thank you through pm.


	11. Think Of You Later

**Chapter 11: Think Of You Later**

Eric had a normal relationship with his father, he looked up to him. His father had loved him very much and Eric had loved his father back, but Eric was always disobedient towards him. He was too lazy to learn to become king until it was too late. His father was a good man and Eric had always identified that fathers keep their children from harm. It was their purpose in life to teach and to protect. It had never occurred to him that Lilli's father had hurt her. He didn't know what to assume because she hadn't exactly told him anything.

It was like everything about her was a secret. She was such a mystery that it intrigued him. Little by little he was discovering her secrets. At this rate he would know her full story in a century's time and by then she'd have more secrets for him to unravel.

"If you want me to live as a vampire you can at least let me have some revenge," she voiced out angrily, "he deserves it."

"Revenge isn't for a pretty girl like you," he mumbled. They were walking back to her friend's apartment.

"What's the use of having all these strengths if I don't get to use it the way I want to? One thing I could do with this being a vampire thing is to get payback," she said.

"He's your father," he replied. He didn't know the right words to say. He could say something that might hurt her more.

"No, I have no father. He stopped being my father when he struck me so hard I lost consciousness,"

Eric's blood boiled inside of him. Maybe he should have ended that man's life. He knew if she had killed her father that she would regret it and would slowly eat away into her mind that would eventually lead into madness. If he had been the one to kill him, that would have been worse. He wanted to ask her 'where was your mother?' What kind of person would let that violence happen to their own child? What kind of person would do this to their child?

He could feel the anger inside of her. It was only certain times that Eric was able to feel her emotion. Her first night as a vampire was the most emotions he had gotten out of her. She had been scared and confused that night. She had also let her wall down for a few moments the night before he left Louisiana. He guessed she was taken aback by his actions, it was an experiment. It was something he had wanted to try out with her. Maybe he could find answers to her past existence.

Tonight she was really angry, it was apparent on the outside. She was huffing and puffing as they walked next to each other, but he could feel a greater anger inside of her that she wasn't showing on the outside, something she's had inside of her for a long time. He searched for more inside of her then suddenly nothing. Her wall was up once again as if she knew he was looking inside of her.

He had never encountered someone who had such tough walls around them. Pam never hid her emotions towards Eric she was always honest and trusted Eric with all of her. The few humans who's he kept track of by his blood didn't have as tough walls as this. Lafayette stands out from that crowd he had a mask most days but Lilli trumped his mask by a thousand times. He couldn't feel a thing again. How was she able to do that? They were bounded by blood. She was supposed to be able to trust him.

She took a big breath, "I don't want to talk about this anymore," she sighed.

Eric tried feeling her emotions again.

Nothing.

_We'll just have to wait till next time, _he thought_._ He would just have to let this one go for the moment because she had. Just like Lilli he hid away his anger.

It was too quiet, "Why are you back here? I thought you were done with your life. Why would you come back to New York?" he asked.

"I had to see someone," she answered flatly. She was back to her normal self. She had recovered quite quickly.

"I thought you had nothing to go back to."

"He's my best friend," she muttered a reply.

"You have no idea how worried Pam is," Eric said. Her emotions clouded his mind the whole flight to New York. He tried sensing Pam's emotion, she was still worried.

_I should call her._ He thought. _She's fine_ Eric told Pam through their bond. He felt her mood relaxed and she felt relieved.

He wanted to test out the bond between her and Lilli but it wasn't the time. She had just been in a rough situation, testing his boundaries inside of her could wait.

"She didn't know if you were abducted or if you were still alive, Pam is _never_ worried," Eric pointed out.

"I-" she couldn't say the right words.

"Why did you run away? You could have told her you where you were going,"

"You wouldn't have let me go,"

"I wouldn't have let you go, alone. You could have been in danger!" he half shouted. He didn't want to make her feel worse but he had to say it.

"You commanded me not to kill myself, I wasn't in any harm," she said.

"What if you had stumbled upon drainers? Vampire haters? You could have been staked!" he grabbed her arm ad faced her towards him.

Lilli looked up to Eric then looked down to the ground realising he was right, "I barely left Derek's place," she mumbled wiggling out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry," she whispered silently. Eric was surprised she was actually sorry for running away.

"I'm guessing you're here to take me back?" she said and started walking again.

"Yes, didn't you think I was going after you?" he followed and walked next to her.

"I don't know, maybe you've had enough people usually get tired of trying to run after me," she sulked.

"I am _very _persistent,"

"That's true," she mumbled to herself, "What about your trip?"

"It's postponed, you're coming along with me next time. How would you like to see North Carolina?"

"Really?" she suddenly seemed delighted, "I've never been there,"

She hadn't realised that they were already in front of Derek's apartment building. Two nights was not enough, if only she could take him back to Louisiana.

She knocked on his door.

"Hey Derek," she greeted.

"You're back, I'm sorry," he said and took Lilli into a bone crushing hug.

"Hello," Eric pipped in rudely.

Derek let her go and took a look at Eric who was standing behind her, "Who are you? Are you Alex?" he asked sizing up Eric.

"Eric," he answered.

"Can you let him in?" she requested.

"Why should I?" Derek asked callously.

"He's my maker,"

"You told him about that Alex and not me. I am hurt," Eric mocked hurt expression by placing a hand on his chest and frowning at her.

Lilli rolled her eyes at Eric and ignored him. It was as if they had forgotten what they had just been through a few moments ago. They were back at irritating each other. Eric was learning how to deal with her.

"Maker?" Derek asked.

"He's the one who made me a vampire,"

"Him?" Derek said looking at Eric up and down, "Then, no."

"Derek,"

"I'm not going to let him in,"

"Derek," Eric said in a teasing way trying to annoy the human.

Derek glared at him, "no."

"I can force you to let me in," Eric said.

"Give it a go," Derek provoked.

Eric took a step towards Derek. Lilli blocked his way, "Enough, put the rulers away!" she said.

Lilli placed her hand on Derek's chest, "Just let him in," she urged.

"Come in," he said to Eric sourly.

Eric smirked at him cockily as he walked inside. "Did you get mugged?" Eric said looking around Derek's apartment.

"What is he doing here Lilli?" Derek said and paid no attention to Eric.

"He's here to take me home," Lilli grabbed her bag from his bedroom while Eric looked around Derek's apartment.

"But New York is your home," Derek responded going after her.

"I—I have to go back," she said.

"You can't just go like that!" he shouted, "You just can't leave again!"

"I have to go back with him, if I want to live as a vampire I have to learn," Lilli paused and couldn't believe the words that were about to escape her lips, "he's all I've got."

"But what about me?" he grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face him.

"I know I don't want to leave, I'd take you if I could."

"Lilli don't do this. I just got you back," he pleaded.

"I know I just got you back as well," she said.

She walked out of Derek's bedroom with her duffel bag in tow.

"I hope you don't mind I got some Tru Blood," Eric cut in their conversation, "it's disgusting."

"You can't take her with you!" Derek shouted at Eric.

"Can you give us some privacy before you drag me halfway across the country?"Lilli found Eric looking at the pictures of her and Derek on his fridge. He was in the kitchen drinking.

"Your wish is my command. Don't take too long we have a flight waiting for us," Eric said taking a sip of his drink, he placed the bottle down the kitchen counter and made his way out of the apartment.

"Goodbye Derek," Eric said as he walked out of the door.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she wrapped her arms around her best friend and buried her face in his chest, "know this, you were the only person I would have stayed alive for."

"But it wasn't enough," he said wrapping one arm around her and the other stroking her hair, "and you won't tell me why."

"I can't but I'm here now, if you ever want to see me there's a bar in Shreveport, Louisiana called Fangtasia. Eric owns it we're almost always there well at night anyway."

"I wish you didn't have to go," he said kissing the top of her head.

"I know," she muttered.

"Ack," Lilli groaned in disgust. Her face was filled with bloody tears now. "Don't you just love your freak of a nature best friend?"

_I just can't stop crying. Stupid vampire and stupid impulsive emotions I can't control. _She thought as she wiped away the tears from her face.

"I do, I love you," he said brushing away a strand of hair from her face and helping her clean up her face.

"I know, I love you too," she replied.

"If anyone asks I was never here," she said looking up at his big blue eyes. She was definitely going to miss him.

"Are you trying to glamour me?" he grinned at her.

"Nope, but I know you won't tell anyone about me, I trust you."

"I wish you didn't have to go right away," he said again.

"I wish I didn't either."

"You'll come and see me?"

"I'm already there," he said with the biggest smile he could muster.

Although she knew he wouldn't be able to see her for a while she hoped for it. He was a struggling in New York City with two jobs he wouldn't be able to take some time off work. She hugged him tightly without hurting him and didn't want to let go.

"Okay I have to go," she said letting him go.

She grabbed her bag from the ground. She wanted to fit Derek into the bag so that he could be with her in Louisiana.

Derek walked her over to his front door.

"Hey whatever happened to that guy that said he was your father? Did you find him?" Derek asked.

Lilli flinched.

"It wasn't him," she lied.

She gave him one last hug, "I'll see you later,"

"See ya," Derek said waving to his best friend as she disappeared into the corridor, not knowing when he'd see her again.

Eric once again listened in to his progeny and her friend. It seemed like this person had climbed some of Lilli's walls. She wasn't scared to show her feelings to him. She shared them freely. He felt jealous there was nothing bonding them together just _friendship._ Eric had his blood connected with her but she couldn't share anything with him. He barely knew a thing about her. It was like she felt nothing for him, which was impossible because he had been the one to turn her.

Pam had asked him why he turned her again and again. At first he was impulsive she was dying and needed help. She was also pretty and he had a certain attraction to her, he couldn't let her go to waste. The only thing he knew that would save her was if he turned her into a vampire. He had been looking for a challenge for quite some time now and a new vampire under his wing would be quite interesting. Only she wasn't what he expected. She was moody, sarcastic, distant and had tendencies to end her life. Who knew Eric Northman would end up with a suicidal vampire? Then that night when she told him that she didn't want to be saved he somehow saw a human so hurt and broken that he found himself comparing himself to her. He thought maybe he could fix her so she wouldn't end up like him. He was after all over a thousand years old and still bitter.

He now knew some of her pain. He had turned her and let her suffering continue. He can't let her die and just give up, it was now his goal to keep her alive and take away her pain. She deserved a second life worth living.

xxx

So, quit your crying and wipe the tears from your eyes.  
Cause this is see you later, I'm not into goodbyes.

"Think Of You Later" – Every Avenue

* * *

**A/N:** There you go.. I'm not having a good week.. bleh. Maybe reviews would make me feel better?


	12. Work All Night

**Chapter 12: Work All Night**

Eric couldn't believe what he was about to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

They were sitting at the airport waiting for their flight back to Louisiana. Lilli hadn't said a word to him since they left her friend's apartment.

"Nop," Lilli answered not looking at him.

"Sure about that?" he tried again.

"Yep," she said and flipped through a book she got out of her bag.

"Those scars on your back did he make those?" he asked.

He had seen them. She turned and glared at him. She never talked about her past with Derek, she never wanted too and now Eric who she had only known for less than a month wanted to know about her past. Sure he had turned her into a vampire and said that they have a bond only a maker and progeny knows and sure he had been there when she had tried to kill her father. But that didn't give him the right to know her past. No one was supposed to know about her past, especially not Eric.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it!" she screamed at him and earning a few stares from the people around them.

Eric looked at her waiting for an answer. She knew that he would soon force it out of her. She sighed and gave in.

_Goddamn it, _she thought.

"Around eight years ago, I was 12. He was throwing me around like usual. I had a rough day at school. I was just so sick of it. Everyone around me was so happy. All of my friends lived a normal life and didn't seem to have any problems at all. It wasn't fair. I had to fake everything I felt when I wasn't at home. I had to hide my bruises. I had to smile and talk like everything was alright but I was dying inside. I never wanted to come home but I didn't have anywhere else to go. I just had enough so I fought back. I threw punches at him and tried kicking him but as you saw he's so much bigger than me and I was smaller back then. He put me through our kitchen window. Glasses got stuck on my back and it was a miracle that nothing hurt my spine. The hospital contacted my grandparents. I couldn't go back home with him so I moved in with them and barely saw him. That's why I have those scars."

"I -" Eric didn't know what to say again. Lilli had made him speechless. He asked to know about her past but he didn't think it would be like this. Although she had tried killing herself he knew there was a reason for that. He didn't know that finding out the reasons for her actions were going to leave him speechless. He didn't know how to deal with it.

"That's enough sharing for one night."

Eric didn't say anything she just let her be. They sat for about an hour waiting for their coffins to be ready. Lilli pulled out her mp3 player from her bag and listened to her music, she didn't want to talk to Eric anymore. She tried drowning out any other sound, but it was hard. Eric was on the phone calling different people every five minutes. He also kept looking over her staring at her then go back to what he was doing. She just kept glaring at him.

"How is it that you're able to do that?" she heard Eric said.

She ignored him thinking he was still on the phone. He placed his face in front of hers, trying to get her attention. She scowled at him.

"Do what?" she asked taking off her earphones to hear him clearer.

"For the past hour I have been trying my hardest to sense your emotion but I have come up with nothing,"

"Why would you do that?" she said in an annoyed tone, he was trying to get in her head, "And didn't you say you can feel my emotions?"

"I can to humans who have consumed my blood and the vampires I have turned, supposedly you and Pam," Eric said as if it was nothing.

"You can feel Pam's and my emotions? Isn't that a bit intruding?" she said facing him.

"As her maker I have the right to, I did make you girls into vampires, but as I said I am getting nothing from you. How is that possible?" he said looking straight into her eyes.

"Why are you asking me this now?" she said irritably. After all that happened he was still pushing her.

"Because you won't tell me anything, I'll just have to find out for myself,"

Lilli glared at him.

"About your father.." Eric started to say.

"What didn't you get about I didn't want to talk about it?" Lilli dropped her book and rolled her eyes at Eric. He just didn't get the message.

"He's not going to hurt you anymore," Eric finished his sentence.

Lilli looked away from him quickly. She didn't believe him.

"If he ever does I will make sure you never see him again," he said stroking her hair, "tell me how you keep me out."

She slapped his hand away and scoffed at him before talking.

"I don't know. Maybe its endurance or my brains just too screwed up or maybe ever since I was a kid I just push every emotion down inside of me and never let them out because no one really cares and no one really needs all that drama. So no one needs to see it."

"That's quite a skill," Eric said. He was impressed but wondered if there was more to her.

"I guess," she shrugged.

She was about to put hear headphones back on when Eric spoke again.

"Your _friend_ didn't seem to know about your father," Eric said with a certain tone on his voice when he said the word friend.

"He doesn't," she said looking at the ground. She felt guilty her best friend didn't know about it but Eric does.

A middle age man walked up to them interrupting their discussion, "Mr. Northman, your coffins are ready for you," he said.

"Let's go," he said to Lilli and patted her leg. He grabbed her bag from the ground as he stood up.

Lilli wanted to reach out and grab it from him. That bag had things she didn't want him to see. Things she didn't want anyone to see. She didn't reach for it, it would only look more obvious and Eric would ask questions and force her to show him what's inside. She let him be and walked beside him. They made their way inside the plane, past the humans and up to the very end, where the coffins were located. A few vampires were also getting in their coffins for the flight.

"This is weird," she mumbled as she lay down on a coffin. Eric was beside her also in an open coffin.

"This is how vampires travel," he said turning his head to look at her, "it's safer and it'll be dawn soon."

"Right," Lilli muttered.

"Have a lovely rest my little flower," Eric teased with a smirk on his lips.

"Screw you!" Lilli screamed. She heard Eric chuckle before her coffin was closed up.

xxx

"Hi honey, haven't seen you in a while," Lilli was greeted by Ginger the human bartender at Fangtasia when her coffin opened. She had a big smile on her face.

"Uh yeah," Lilli muttered getting up. She always thought Ginger had a few brain cells missing or that she's been glamoured so many times they actually disintegrated from her head, "what are you doing here?" Lilli asked noticing they were at home in their living room.

"Eric asked me to open you guys up tonight,"

"You're done for the night Ginger," Eric told her.

"Alrighty!" Ginger said in a cheerful tone.

Eric got out of his coffin and so did Lilli.

"Um Eric," Lilli started to say.

"Yes?" Eric said walking next to her and looking down at her.

"Do you have to be that close?" she grimaced, "personal space."

Eric chuckled and stepped back.

"Can we just forget what ever happened in New York never happened?" she asked with pleading eyes as she looked up to him.

"That's not possible. We are definitely going to talk about this,"

"No we're not. Sharing and caring isn't going to make me forget my past, there is no use to talk about it,"

"We ARE going to talk about this,"

"Please," she pleaded.

Eric couldn't help but give in. Her puppy dog eyes were hard to say no to, "For the moment I will, but we will talk about this."

"Now get ready for work, we'll go to Fangtasia in a bit,"

Lilli nodded at him and dragged her stuff down the basement and into her room. She quickly stuffed her clothes in her dresser and placed the rest on top of drawers. She placed the rest of her things underneath her bed. It wasn't a good hiding place but she didn't have enough time to find a good hiding spot for now. It was going to be hard to find a place to hide them without Eric knowing but it was a good thing Eric was always with her so as long as he was by her side he wouldn't find them. She'll just have to wait for her next night off and Eric would be at Fangtasia.

An hour later they were in his car on their way to Fangtasia. She was missing Derek already. It was still early and the bar was still closed when they got there. Only Pam and Stan was there. Pam was fixing up little things on each table and Stan was making sure the bar was fully stocked. The other waitresses haven't even arrived yet. Pam looked right at Lilli when they both walked in. She had a look in her face that she quickly hid once her glance went to Eric. She didn't say a word to Lilli. Eric went down to the basement with Stan right away they had business to attend to apparently.

Lilli walked over to Pam, "Hi," she said awkwardly. Eric had told her that Pam had been worried about her. She didn't think Pam would care much about her.

Pam didn't greet back but she quickly grabbed Lilli into an awkward hug as if she hadn't done it before, "Do not ever do that again!" Pam screamed into her ear and let her go, "I was so worried! I didn't think I would be able to feel that way ever. I never want to fucking feel that way again! Eric would have killed me if anything happened to you!" She poked Lilli on her shoulder harshly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Lilli winced.

"Take me with you next time," Pam said with a smirk.

Pam walked over to Eric's office. Lilli sat down at one of the chairs and waited for either vampire to come back and tell her what to do next. Pam came out of Eric's office with a few shopping bags on her hands. She dropped them in front of Lilli.

"Here, I bought these for you," she said sourly.

"For me?" Lilli asked surprised. She looked through the bags. They were filled with clothes, shoes and jewellery. Lilli took out a black dress from one of the bags, it was made from lace, the top part was fitting and the bottom was a petticoat. Lilli actually liked the dress. It wasn't like the last outfit Pam made her wear. She could actually wear it while working.

"I shop when I'm nervous," Pam confessed, "I have enough clothes and you don't."

"Thank you," Lilli said. She had the urge to hug Pam, but it seemed like one hug was enough for Pam tonight.

"Yeah, yeah," Pam said shooing her away.

"Did I miss anything?" Eric said as he walked back from the basement with Stan just behind him.

"Pam got me clothes," Lilli said excitedly looking through each bag, the sight of her almost made Eric smile. She was like a little kid opening presents on Christmas day.

"Did she now?" Eric said looking over at Pam.

Pam rolled her eyes at Eric, and then shot him a glare. Eric chuckled and sat down next to Lilli, also looking through the bags. He kept smirking at Pam who had an annoyed look on her face every time Eric looked at her.

When they were both done looking through the bags Eric dropped a folder in front of Lilli, "here bookwork for tonight," he said.

"Oh goody," Lilli said sarcastically. She had done most of the bookwork last week and she had been the one who always balanced the till and counted the money they collected from the front door, "no waitressing?" she asked Eric.

"Not tonight," Eric said. He grabbed the bags from the counter and went to his office. Lilli followed him with the papers on her hand.

She made her way to Eric's office and started working. She could hear every employee come in the front and back door while she flicked through Eric's papers. Theo had come in along with the dancers and three of the human waitresses were working today. The bar opened at 9.00. It wasn't very busy but the bar was still pretty full. She recognised most of the vampire voices and some of their human companions, there were also some tourists and new customers. Feeling a bit left out Lilli left her post at Eric's office and made her way out to the busy bar. She spotted Pam close to the throne where Eric usually sat, he was at the front door talking to a tall blonde fang-banger and Alex at the bar talking to Stan.

She made her way to Alex and gave him as smile.

"Hey," she greeted Alex, "can I get an AB+?" she asked Stan. She didn't feel like feeding tonight and there wasn't anyone appealing to her appetite, a Tru Blood will do.

"You're back," Alex replied with a grin.

"So am I," Eric said while walking past on his way to his throne with the blonde in tow.

Lilli rolled her eyes at Eric but smiled at Alex.

"Yeah I am," she said grabbing the fresh Tru Blood from Stan.

"Are you ok? Pam was really worried. It was weird."

"I'm ok."

"Where did you go?" he asked.

She wished he didn't asked but she answered anyway, "New York."

"Hey so I was wondering if-" Alex started to talk.

Lilli looked over to Eric's throne and surely he was looking at her and Alex, "You know what Eric is glaring at me. I have a lot of paper work to do. I'll talk to you tomorrow?" Lilli interrupted Alex.

"Yeah tomorrow," Alex said with a disappointed tone.

However, It didn't happen. For the next few days Eric dropped paper work on Lilli again before opening time at Fangtasia. She only got to take five minute breaks. Eric sends in a few humans during the night for her to feed on and she barely gets out to the bar. It was as if he was keeping her from the outside world which only consisted of the bar. If she was at the bar she was next to him at his throne. She was getting irritated. She liked dealing with customers, she liked talking to them and she was good at her job. So why couldn't he let her do her job? Every time she tried going out to of his office he would be next to her after just a few minutes telling her to get back inside. It was like she was a prisoner.

At home they had stayed out of the topic what happened in New York. He asks but she never answers. She always fought with him about the paperwork and how she didn't become a vampire just to become his accountant. Eric always told her that it was just temporary but she knew there was something else behind it. Maybe a certain blonde vampire Eric didn't like was the reason.

Lilli liked him. Alex reminded her of Derek in a way. If he couldn't have Derek in Louisiana maybe she could have Alex.

Fed up of being cooped up in Eric's office for nights, Lilli focused on her hearing. Eric occasionally takes a human to the basement and do things to them Lilli didn't want to know ever. It was soundproof down there so he wouldn't be able to hear if she was actually doing the job he assigned her.

In between bashing her head against Eric's desk over and over out of boredom and frustration, Lilli listened in as a fang-banger approached Eric and offered herself to him for the night and Eric agreed and took her down to the basement. She lifted her head up and stared at the table, she had cracked it. She shrugged it off; Eric could afford a new table. With her ears focused on Eric, she waited until the door was completely closed before making a move.

_She might be a high-class fang-banger then. _Lilli thought as she made her way out of Eric's office. Eric always seemed to go for the exotic looking ones and doesn't just go for whomever like some vampires. He usually get's over ten to fifteen offers during the night while Lilli get's five to ten, but most of the fang-bangers in Fangtasia were women. And they all wanted Eric.

"Hey!" Lilli greeted Alex. She made her way straight to him.

Alex looked around the bar. "Good, Eric's gone," Alex said with relief, "that guy has been watching my every move."

"Same here," Lilli said.

"I see you've escaped," Pam whispered when she walked past Lilli, "yet again."

"I have," Lilli gave her a grin before Pam walked off.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," Lilli said.

"I have to do this now before Eric comes back here," Alex said.

"Okay," Lilli was a bit bewildered by Alex's actions.

"I was wondering," Alex started shyly, he scratched the back of his head, "I want to get to know you more maybe out of this bar, so maybe I could take you out on a date?"

xxx

Work all day, keep the rhythm through the night  
Work all night, keep the workin' all day  
Tell our soul, "that's fine all right"  
Sell our soul, that's fine all right

"Work All Day" – Portugal The Man

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**A/N:** Ahh I dunno. I still feel crappy. Longest chapter so far.


	13. Must Get Out

**Chapter 13: Must Get Out**

Lilli stared at Alex for a few moments, he had just asked her out and the only thing that came out of her mouth was, "Do vampires date?" she asked curiously.

"Uh was that a no?" he asked with a disappointed tone.

"No, I mean I'm pretty sure it's a yes but how does that even work?" she said not realising what she had said before.

"Let me handle that, so can I take you out on a date?"

"Um.. let me ask Eric," Lilli said looking around for the tall blonde vampire.

She had never asked anyone in her life if she could go out with some boy. She had been twelve when she moved out of her father's house and she didn't think about boys at that age. Her mother didn't know about anyone she dated and even if she did she didn't have the guts to tell her what to do after what she had done to her daughter. Lilli had always done what she wanted without asking anyone. She never thought that at age twenty and being a vampire that she'd need permission to ask someone if she could go out on a date.

It was kind of refreshing she always thought that if her father was normal and she had a normal life she would go through the same hoops all teenagers go through. Although she did go through hoops but different ones, she always wanted a father figure who would protect her, who she asks permission to about dates and everything else. Eric seemed to be that person now.

Lilli watched the door of the basement open. Eric walked out straightening his shirt. She walked over to him.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have work to do?" Eric said to her while making his way to his office.

"Where's your fang-banger?" Lilli followed behind him.

"She's recovering," he said smirking to himself.

"Eugh," Lilli said disgusted.

They both walked in his office. Lilli closed the door behind them.

"Here," Eric said handing Lilli a plastic card from his wallet.

"What's this?" she asked taking it from his hands.

"A bank card,"

Lilli looked at him with a confused look, "I know what a bank card is, but what is it for?"

"You didn't think you were working for nothing did you? There's quite a bit in there so you can spend it with whatever you wanted," he said walking over to his desk.

"Oh, like a date with Alex?" she spoke loudly, and thought she better just get it over with.

"Excuse me?" Eric said with a surprised tone.

"He asked me out."

He replied with a solid, "no."

"Come on Eric! Let me go on a date! I've been nice to you this week," she urged.

"You mean screaming at me every night was you being nice?" he said cocking an eyebrow at her, he went behind his desk.

"Yeah but that's not new is it?" she shrugged.

"My desk, what did you do to my desk?" Eric said circling his desk and examining the crack in the middle.

"Yeah well I got bored," she said, "Let me go on this date!"

"No," he said once again.

"Eric!" she moaned, "I haven't seen anything out of Fangtasia and your house. You and Pam are always busy, if you want to keep me in Louisiana at least let me have a life out of this bar!"

"Didn't you just go to New York?"

"That's not the point,"

"Let me talk to him," Eric said and made his way towards the door.

"Don't kill him!" Lilli called out to Eric. She sighed and followed behind him. She felt like a lost puppy again, following a tall blonde vampire wherever he went.

Eric questioned Alex like a protective father, "Where will you take her?"

"Um I kind of want that to be a surprise," Alex said looking over to Lilli, "can we go to the basement?"

"Give me a second," Eric replied. He made his way down to the basement and came back out with a human.

"Let's go," he called Alex over from the basement door.

Lilli waited anxiously as both vampires made their underneath the bar. She sat at the bar with her eyes focused on the door.

"I heard that Alex asked you out?" Pam said sitting next to her.

"Yeah, do you think Eric will let me?" Lilli asked.

"Eric doesn't like to share,"

"So that's a no?" Lilli scoffed.

"You never know," Pam said and walked away right before Eric and Alex came out of the basement.

"Ok," Eric said to her.

"Ok?"

"Yes you can go with him. Two nights from now, he'll pick you up from our home."

"Thank you!" she said and couldn't help herself when she wrapped her arms around Eric.

"Aww," Eric said as he placed his arms around her too.

"Oh god," Lilli said realising what she had just done. She pushed away Eric who was smirking at her. He held on to her tighter.

"Ew, get off!" she spat at him, which made his smirk bigger and he laughed.

xxx

The next night Alex wasn't at the bar and Lilli figured he was getting things ready for their date the next night. Eric hadn't stashed her in his office to do his paperwork either. He also didn't get her to work that night so she was sitting to the chair next to his empty throne, just like she does when she isn't working at the bar. She never liked it because Eric's throne was the centre of attention in the club along with the almost naked dancers on the poles. The throne was actually adjacent to a dancing pole which currently had a half naked guy winking at her ever five minutes. She did her best to ignore him and just sat there and watched the rest of the bar. Pam was as always tending to her customers, Stan was tending the bar, Theo was outside, the human waitresses were going around dropping off drinks and Eric was off to his basement once again with a fang-banger. Lilli was all alone in Eric's throne and she was getting bored.

"Hey, Lilli right?" A dark haired guy wearing a lot of black spoke to her. She recognised him as the first human she fed from. She could still see the marks from her teeth on his wrists.

She nodded at him and gave him a seductive look. She could use this fang-banger tonight.

"I'm Daniel by the way, so how's your night been?"

"It could be better," she smiled at him.

The human smirked up at her as if he knew what was going to happen. Lilli grabbed his hand and led him to Eric's empty office. She closed the door behind them. She guided him to the small couch and pushed him to sit down. He fell with a thud and a smile on his face. He was enjoying this. Lilli lowered herself to the couch. She placed each of her legs on either side of him and straddled herself against his hips. She grabbed his jaw and started trailing kisses down his jaw to his neck as Daniel moaned in pleasure. She placed a hand on his neck feeling the pulse on his vein. She sucked on his neck and licked his skin with her tongue before she drew out her fangs and sink her teeth in. She let the warm fresh blood drip down her throat freely. This was so much better than feeding from wrists. She could feel a bulge on the Daniel's pants as he gasped for air.

_Fang-bangers, seriously._

She heard the door open suddenly. She took her lips off the human's neck.

"Occupied!" Lilli screamed. She looked up and saw Eric standing in front of the door.

"What are you doing?" Eric shouted, pulling her off Daniel.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm feeding."

Eric just looked at her surprised and amazed.

"What? He's just a human and willing," she said callously.

"You can go now," she said wiping her blood stained lips. The guy got up from the couch wiping his neck and walked out of the room giving Lilli one last look. She ignored him.

"You didn't tell me what you were going to do," he said as he walked behind his desk and sat on his chair. He had glued his desk together until he got a new one.

"Do I have to tell you my every move? Hey Eric I'm walking towards you is that ok? Now I'm sitting on your chair is that alright with you?" she asked him sarcastically as she sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

"That mouth of yours is impressive. I cannot wait to find out what else it could do," Eric said cocking an eyebrow.

She glared at him. She wanted to kick him in the groin again.

_That mouth of yours oh how I'd love to punch it, _she thought.

She didn't because he might change his mind about letting her go with her date with Alex.

"I'm going to be out on the town tomorrow. I don't want to go rampant at the city and kill humans because I'm hungry. Feed from the willing. He was willing," she shrugged. "The thing in his pants was also willing," she smirked.

Eric looked at her blankly at first and then gave her a disgusted look next realising what she had just said.

"You are coping well with being a vampire," he informed her.

"I guess," she said, calming down.

"You'll be fine tomorrow night. You are done for the night. You can go home and rest. Here," he said and grabbed the keys of his car from his pocket and threw it at Lilli.

She caught it and said, "What's this?"

"Take the car home. I'll get a ride from Pam. I presume you know the way now?"

"I do, but really you want me to drive your expensive car?"

"If you crash it I can buy another one easily. Do not crash it just because I told you, you can," he paused, "I'll buy you your own car in the coming days."

"Ok. Home then," she said and got up from her seat turning her back on Eric. He was going to buy her a car. She had never had a car of her own before.

"Wait," he called out.

Lilli turned around.

"Straight home," he commanded.

"Alright," she huffed.

Lilli drove home. Once she got home she went straight to her bedroom and grabbed her bag from underneath her bed. She took out the lighter she had swiped from Fangtasia. She pulled out the box from her bag. She opened it, the first thing she saw was the letter for Derek, then for her mother, father and her old best friend, underneath it were her journals she had kept through the years. If she burned them it meant that she was really going to give being a vampire a shot. She was going to keep living. She thought did she really want that? All she had in this life were Eric and Pam who wanted to keep her safe and alive and seemed like they genuinely wanted her to be around. The other vampires in Fangtasia seemed to be fond of her not just because she was Eric's progeny. She had no limits being a vampire she could do whatever she wanted and get away with it as long as she was with Eric. But Eric was still a mystery to her.

She couldn't decide yet. She closed the box without reading any of it. Reading the letters and her journals would just make her remember her past once again. Her father showing up was enough of a reminder. She didn't want to remember. She walked up the stairs and got out of the basement. She climbed up the stairs to the second floor of Eric's house then up to his attic. She hid her box at the farthest corner where no one would find it. She also made sure she couldn't feel Eric close by. He was probably still at Fangtasia it was just 2am. She went back down to the living room and pulled out one of Eric's books. She read it, but her mind was trying to imagine what her date would be with Alex would turn out.

Eric got home just before dawn. He found Lilli asleep but not fully resting, on the smaller couch on the living room with her legs hanging from the side and a book on top of her chest. He actually smiled at the sight of her. He stroked her hair as he bent down and picked her up. She grumbled when he lifted her up from the couch but didn't wake up. He found her peaceful, and a change from her screaming at him at every chance she gets. He went down the basement and placed her on her bed. He stared at her for a second before leaving her room. A thought passed through his head. She was his but somehow she wanted someone else. She didn't even seem to like him and he was going to change that.

xxx

This city's made us crazy and we must get out.

"Must Get Out" – Maroon 5

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**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews weezerz2490, catchthesparks, opticon217, downbelowgirl, Crazyofjack, Textcrazy and mixtmatched9! Anyway there you go and I am off to bed!


	14. First Date

**Chapter 14: First Date**

Lilli stood in front of her closet with a towel wrapped around her body. She had just gotten out of the shower. She didn't know what to wear. Alex said she could wear whatever she wanted even if she wore just a shirt and jeans. She was tempted to just grab her favourite band shirt, some fitted jeans and her black converse. She stared at her closet, the clothes Eric and Pam bought and the clothes she took from her place were all in front of her. It was hard to decide what to wear, when Alex didn't give her a hint on where they were going.

She grabbed the short black dress Eric bought her, some leggings and her leather jacket with a hood. She put them on and looked at herself at the mirror. The dress was a bit too short and almost looked just like a top, that's why she wore leggings underneath. The dress was sleeveless, low cut and was fitted at the top but was wide from her waist down. She almost went for her converse but changed her mind. They probably wouldn't match her clothes. She wore the high heels she wears at work they were comfortable and were passable enough to be date shoes. She had let her long hair air dry so it had natural waves. She didn't wear any makeup she never liked wearing it anyway, plus she had that natural glow on her skin from being a vampire.

She grabbed her purse and was fixing her dress when she heard a knock on her door.

"Can I come in?" Eric said from behind the door.

"Yeah," Lilli answered.

Eric walked in and looked at Lilli up and down. He stared at her for a while before speaking. "You look great," Eric said and it actually sounded genuine to Lilli.

Lilli didn't believe him. She thought she looked alright but not great.

"Thanks I guess," she said feeling self conscious. She didn't want him saying those things to her. She didn't like him and Alex was her date for tonight.

"That _boy_ is here," Eric informed her.

Lilli nodded and walked out of her room with Eric right behind her. Alex was in their living room when they got out of the basement. He turned to Lilli right away and stared at her. Alex was wearing black skin tight jeans, oversized white shirt underneath a leather jacket and a pair of black vans. His hair was still a mess of blonde although it looked like he tried to brush it. He looked good.

"Wow you look-," he started to say.

"Yeah let's go," Lilli didn't let Alex finish his sentence she took his wrist and walked out of the house.

"Have fun kiddies!" Eric called out. He wasn't done for the night.

Alex led Lilli to his car. It was a small black Peugeot convertible, a very expensive car. Lilli thought that maybe all vampires were rich and what car Eric would buy her.

_Hopefully something expensive, _she thought, _and fast._

"So where are we going?" Lilli asked before hopping in the front seat.

Alex smiled at her and said, "just wait and see."

They drove out to the city for about twenty minutes before parking the car behind a club. Alex got out of the car and opened the door for Lilli. She chuckled and called him a gentleman as she got out of the car. He grabbed her hand to hold as they walked towards the front of the club. She looked down at their intertwined fingers and smiled. She wasn't nervous about this date, it was Alex and she could be herself around him. She was oddly comfortable with him.

"Are you going to tell me why we're here?"

"I said just wait and see. A little impatient are we?"

"Come on just tell me even just one thing,"

"Nope," he grinned at her.

Lilli looked up at the front door of the club the sign said 'Red Door' in a red neon. Alex took out two tickets from his back pocket and showed it to the bouncer. They had jumped the queue of humans waiting to get inside. It seemed like he had gotten them in VIP. The bouncer had three sets of wristbands white, black and red.

"Fangs," Alex whispered to her ear.

She looked at him and noticed for the first time that his fangs were out and he was showing it to the bouncer. She drew out hers and gave a fake smile to the bouncer, letting him have a glance at her fangs. He nodded at both of them and placed a red wristband on their wrists.

"What was that about?" she asked once they got inside.

"It's an all ages club. If you're a vampire they don't ask for your ID, because they don't know how old you really are. I'm pretty sure you don't want that seeing that you're still just 20 years old. Even in vampire age you are way too young. White bands are for underage humans, black are for over 21's and red ones are for vampires."

"Isn't that too risky though letting yourself be known as a vampire in a club full of humans?"

"Red Door is a vampire friendly bar kind of like Fangtasia just a bit more toned down, ok a lot more toned down. Even if there are haters that go around here they have to keep their opinions to themselves or they get their ass kicked."

Lilli laughed, "Right."

They went straight to the bar. Lilli looked around the bar it was just like a normal club and noticed it had a stage but it was covered by curtains at the moment so she couldn't see if there was anything behind it. Alex was right the bar was more toned down than Fangtasia. The room was filling up with people pretty quickly. She thought it must be a special night. She noticed the various wristbands on every person around the bar as she looked around the ones who were wearing red wristbands who noticed her staring nodded at her and gave her half a smile, as if it was a secret handshake for vampires. The bar had low alternative music playing through their speakers. She felt like she was at a concert about to see a band. Was she?

"Never been on a first date like this before," Lilli voiced out.

"You're not just any other girl," Alex said with a coy smile on his lips. He turned back to the bar and continued to order.

"Who's playing?" she tried. Maybe she was at a show.

Alex made a tsk sound and said, "What did I say?"

"Just wait and see," she sighed and turned her back from the crowd and faced the bar.

"Ok here," Alex gave her a small glass with a red substance inside, he had the same.

"What's this?" Lilli asked, taking the glass from him.

"Tru Blood," he said.

"Are you serious?" she laughed in disgust, "I hate this stuff."

"Just go with me here."

"Can we get two strawberry and vodka?" Alex asked the bartender, "Hold off the soda."

The bartender placed two glassed half filled with a lighter shade of red in front of them. Alex passed her one.

"Tip it in your Tru Blood," he said.

Lilli did as Alex said and stirred it with her straw.

"Wanna do it together?"

Lilli nodded.

"On three, One. Two. Three."

The two vampires swallowed their drinks at the same time.

"Hey that's actually not too bad, I could actually taste the strawberry and vodka," Lilli said, "Are you trying to get me drunk this early? What kind of date do you think I am?" she teased.

Alex laughed, "We are vampires the alcohol will probably work for a few minutes then it's out of your system, you won't get drunk, I promise."

"Impressive," Lilli praised.

"Vampire girls love this drink, my own concoction," he said proudly.

"Vampire girls?" Lilli said, cocking an eyebrow.

"I mean no, ok yes but I've been around for a bit," Alex said embarrassed.

"I'm kidding, how old are you anyway?" she asked.

"I was 23 when I was made. But I've been a vampire for over 70 years," he answered.

"So you're old."

"I do feel very young," he said placing a hand on his chest and gave her a big smile.

"Where were you from originally?"

"Germany and I had two older brothers, What about you?" he said adding a bit more information for her.

She was surprised he didn't have an accent at all.

"I'm an only child from Australia, I moved to US when I was 16,"

Before Alex could ask another question about her the sound of guitar and drums filled the room. Lilli turned around and watched as the curtain opened. She couldn't see the band clearly from the bar but the tune sounded familiar to her ears. Alex grabbed her hand once again and mouthed come on through the music. He led her up stairs where a sign said VAMP instead of VIP. They climbed up and noticed a number of vampires were already upstairs and a few human companions. Lilli smiled shyly at the vampires who stared at her she still felt uncomfortable around some vampires. Alex dragged her to the barrier. She had a clear view of the band and the crowd underneath.

"Oh my god," she gasped.

The lead singer started to sing.

_If you only once would let me  
Only just one time  
Then be happy with the consequence  
With whatever's gonna happen tonight  
Don't think we're not serious  
When's it ever not  
The love we make it's give and its take  
I'm game to play along_

"I did well then?" Alex whispered into her ear.

"Yes," she replied giving him the biggest smile and squeezed his hand tighter, "how'd you know?"

"You seemed like the type," he grinned and averted his eyes back to the band.

The band played a few more songs before taking a break. Lilli hadn't seen this band or seen a show in a while. She never even thought about it after she turned into a vampire. She didn't think she'd be able to still see bands she liked live. She loved music. Music was the reason she had kept with her life for years. Every time she listens to familiar melodies she melts and couldn't even imagine what she would do without it. Seeing and meeting the bands who had saved her life more times than she can imagine is what she lived for.

"This is amazing," she told Alex, "thank you."

"No need to thank me, this is for you."

"One thing though, there are no vampires down there," she mentioned about the crowd downstairs.

"Yeah, vampires tend to get too excited so we're only allowed up here. There were a few times that a vampire went through the roof just by moshing, he didn't even realise it. So it's to protect the humans."

"Was it you?"

Alex laughed, "No it wasn't me."

"Damn it!" Lilli cursed as she caught glance for a familiar face.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Alex asked worried.

"No, no its not you. Chow's over there," She said pointing at the corner.

"Do you want to lose him?" Alex said as he looked at the vampire.

"No," Lilli sighed, "I've given Eric enough headaches this week, maybe next week."

He chuckled.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Come with me?"

Lilli motioned her head no and cocked it towards the corner.

"I'll be right back then," Alex said and made his way down the bar.

Lilli walked over to the vampire, trying to avoid the others who stared at her. It was like they were trying to figure out who she was.

"Chow, what are you doing here?" Lilli asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Clarence was supposed to be here but he had other things to do so I covered for him," he said scratching the back of his head.

Clarence was one of Eric's assassins. She had met him once when he was summoned by Eric. He looked nothing like Chow. He was a skinny long brown haired vampire with the brightest forest green eyes. Unlike Chow who was a bit on the chubby side with short brown hair and brown eyes. He was also wearing a suit and didn't blend in well with the crowd when Clarence definitely would have.

"Eric put you up to this?" she asked. She couldn't believe it. He had sent a spy to look after her.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"I guess not," she sighed defeated.

"He just wants to make sure you are safe."

"I know but I can handle myself," she muttered.

She left Chow on his corner so he could go back to being creepy and went to the barrier. Alex came back and found her where they were a few moments ago. He had two glasses of the same drink they had and two bottles of Tru Blood an AB+ for Lilli and an O- for himself. They drank from the shot glasses first and laughed about it again. The band started playing once more they had three more song left for the night. Lilli sung along with the band while Alex stared at her amused. She caught him and pushed his face away from hers and towards the band. The last song started playing and it just made her mood better.

_Can you see it in my eyes?  
You're always in my head  
you're just what I wanted  
I live in constant debt  
to feel you, invented _

Lilli's hand grabbed Alex and she raced down the stairs with him following behind her. The music was still very fresh in her ear, she felt ecstatic. They zoomed past the bar and the humans getting out of the bar. She had to get outside before Chow catches up. She had to get him outside before the moment was over. They ended up at the side of the club with a few people around them. She smiled up at him and grabbed his other hand.

"So did we have a good time?" Alex asked taking a step towards her.

"Mhmm," Lilli answered pursing her lips and taking a step closer to Alex.

"I'm glad," he said before leaning down and crashing his lips on hers.

She closed her eyes as they exchanged soft urgent kisses. Alex backed her against a wall and kissed her more forcefully. Her hand left his and went to his hips. Her fingers clutched on to his shirt as she hungrily kissed him, savouring the taste of strawberry still left on his lips. Her hands roamed his stomach and chest over his shirt.

A loud cough behind Lilli caught her attention. She unlocked her lips from Alex and peeked over Alex's shoulder to see who had interrupted them.

She was caught off guard when she was faced with Eric.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she screamed at him feeling exposed. How long had he been there? Was he watching the whole time? She pulled her jacket close to her and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Date's over. We have to go," he said.

"Go where? What the hell Eric this is a new level of weird!" she scowled at him.

"We have a flight to catch in a few hours," he said.

"Hey I thought tonight was my night!" Alex interrupted.

"You thought wrong. I'm taking her home," Eric said.

He didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed Lilli and wrapped his arms around her and flew away.

"Whoa, we're flying!" Lilli said amazed. She looked at the ground and saw things were getting smaller and smaller Alex was looking up at them, "I'm sorry he's such a dick!" she screamed hoping Alex could hear her.

"You are such an asshole!" she said and punched his chest repeatedly before asking, "Can I fly too?"

Eric just chuckled but kept quiet and flew them back home.

xxx

In the car I just can't wait to pick you up on our very first date  
is it cool if I hold your hand? is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?  
do you like my stupid hair? would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?

"First Date" - Blink 182

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**A/N: **I don't own Jimmy Eat World. They are a good band to see live though they are pretty freaking amazing. Anyway there you go another chapter done. I must really love this story I keep writing. I'm thinking of writing a Christmas special for this story what do you guys think?

I love waking up to reviews. Thank you Textcrazy, weezerz2490, mixmatched9, treewitch703, catchthesparks, truebloodfan24, nikitta27, opticon217, chef, AlexJade and KentAlexis


	15. Take Me Away

**Chapter 15: Take Me Away**

Eric took Lilli straight home after he took her away from her date with Alex. Lilli was quiet, way too quiet in Eric's arms. She didn't want to leave Alex. She wanted to spend the rest of night with him. She wanted to get to know him more. She wanted to keep kissing him until they had to go to ground. She didn't want to be dragged away by Eric just after two hours of freedom. Irritated at what Eric had done to her she drew out her fangs and bit his arm.

"Ouch," Eric said almost dropping her but his other arm still wrapped around her body securely, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I really don't like you," she sulked.

Once they landed and Eric unlocked his arms around her waist Lilli ran to her room. Pack your stuff, she heard Eric yell from outside. She changed out of her clothes and into a pair of pants, shirt and her black converse. She grabbed her bag and placed random pieces of clothing inside of it. She didn't even know where they were going or if she wanted to go with Eric. She wanted to punch Eric so hard he would pass out, he was so overprotective. She couldn't hurt him the way she wanted to, he was way older and way stronger than her, but it was as if it was Eric's goal to be punched by her. He couldn't get hurt so she takes her punches for her sake. She had to release her anger somehow.

xxx

The two vampires ended up at an almost empty field in North Carolina the next night, strolling underneath the moonlight.

"What are we looking for?" Lilli questioned.

"We are looking for a Bill Compton," Eric said walking in the empty field.

"What's a Bill Compton? A friend of yours?"

"Not exactly," he said and clicked his tongue.

"So why are we looking for him?"

"Just cause," he muttered.

"I can't believe you'd drag me out here minutes after my date with Alex, could you be more psychotic?" she screamed at him.

"Would like to see me try?" Eric said and just smirked to himself.

Lilli glared at him, "did you plan this?"

"No, why would I do such a thing," he chuckled.

"You seriously suck."

"Would you like to fill me in on what happened in your date? You know other than the things I saw," he said.

"No," Lilli said and tried to scowl but she couldn't help but smile at her experience with Alex the night before. Then she scowled again remembering what Eric had done.

"You had a good time then?" he asked.

"Eh," she shrugged, "why did you do that? Why did you take me away?" she asked looking down on her feet.

What could he say? She was just an annoying little vampire who he made out of impulse, but she was his and only his or that maybe he was jealous of Alex? How she seemed to show her nice side to that blonde and always have her angry side with him. Eric Northman is never jealous of anyone. At least he wouldn't say it out loud.

"I don't know," he said in a low voice.

"Where are we anyway?" she said trying to change the subject. He was as impulsive as her, she could relate to that, even though she didn't know his reasons for his actions. She really didn't know if she wanted to hear the real reason, if he even had one.

"We are at a vampire prison," he informed her.

"What? But all I see is land and wooden sticks. Why would we be at a vampire prison?" she said touching one of the wooden sticks.

"The prisoners are underneath around 20 feet under," he said pointing down to the ground as they slowly walked side by side.

"So this Bill Compton is a prisoner?"

"He is."

"What did he do?"

"He killed the vampire Queen of Louisiana."

"There's a Queen? Is there a King too?"

"Vampires have a hierarchy for a government. Every state of America has either King or Queen. We used to have a Queen now we have some 700 year old King," he said with a yawn.

"I heard you're the sheriff of something is that part of the hierarchy?"

"It is. I am the sheriff of Area 5 which is our city and a few more around us. It's like a Mayor or Senator in your human terms. They asked me to be King but I declined,"

"Why didn't you? We could be living in a castle!"

Eric laughed at her combined naivety and enthusiasm, "We wouldn't be living in a castle just a bigger house. I don't like the responsibility of dealing with hundreds of vampires," he said.

"Oh," she said disappointed, "what's with the wooden sticks?"

"The names of the vampires underneath are carved into them, so if they try to escape they get staked. I want you to go over that side and check the names see if one of them is Bill Compton,"

"Okay," she said and did as Eric said.

_Magnus McFadden, must be Irish._ Lilli thought as she read the names from the wooden sticks. _Elisa Masters. Lucas Suarez. Antonia Keller. Lethario Guttenberg, Muhammad Ezra, Calvin Preston, Hui Chang._ She kept reading the wooden was amazed at the diversity of the vampires that were buried underneath her. They were still alive but they were buried under ground without blood and without anyone to talk to, who knows what else was in there with them to make them suffer. If they were in a human prison they would have food and company. She thought that vampires were crueller than humans.

"No Bill Compton here," she shouted to Eric who was finishing up at the other side of the field.

"He's not here either," he shouted back.

"So what crimes do these vampires commit to end up here?" Lilli said after she ran over to Eric's side.

"Killing another vampire, feeding from another vampire's human companion, stealing someone's human companion or killing them and etcetera etcetera, there are other punishment but this is what they usually get silvered and buried for a few years. After they have served their time it takes a while for a vampire to go back to the way they were, it might even take years. There are some that have been down there for more than a hundred years, they would probably be just skin and bones now but still alive although being buried there for so long has made them insane,"

"Ouch, if this Bill is a prisoner why are we looking for him? Are we breaking him out?"

"He has served his sentence, as much as I didn't want to do it they told me to retrieve him but they didn't tell me where he was buried,"

"How long has he been buried?"

"Less than a year,"

"That's it? For killing the queen all he gets is less than a year?"

"Well usually it would be a ten or so years but the queen had other activities that weren't acceptable to the VLA so he almost got away with it, but he still needs to be punished. It's pretty clear that he's not here."

"So what now?"

"We go back to our hotel and get a flight to Dallas tomorrow night," he said.

They walked slowly out to get out of the field.

"So hey, I barely know a thing about you. It's like I'm living with a stranger, so tell me who are you?" Lilli asked breaking the silence.

Had he heard her right? She wanted to know him.

"Am I hearing this right? Lilli wants to get to know me?" Eric said smirking.

"Well yeah, you've asked stuff about me and I've told you and I think you should return the favour," she said.

Eric almost laughed when she said the words return the favour. She hadn't made it easy for him to get information about her, but at least she was trying to get to know him.

"How about I tell you things about myself and you tell me things about yourself?" he suggested.

"Ok I guess. You start though," she said.

Eric was surprised. She was in a good mood tonight. Maybe going out with Alex did her some good.

"I was around 28 years of age when I was turned over a thousand years ago. I was from the country you now call Sweden. I was a prince in line to be king someday. I had a baby sister and my parents were madly in love with each other," he said trying to remember his past for her, although it hurt him to remember his human life and how it ended up maybe telling her would make her open up more.

"Prince? Like a prince prince?" she questioned as they both got in the car they rented.

Eric nodded getting in the driver's side of the car, "Viking prince," he said.

"You're a Viking. That's why you look so strange,"

"I look strange?" he asked and stared at her curiously.

"Not in that way though, it's just that I've never met anyone that looks like you," she said the truth, "Did you ended up being king?" she asked.

"No, my family was slaughtered before I had the chance to,"

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely.

"It was a long time ago," he said trying to assure her but he lied, "your turn."

"Life was normal until I was seven. I was spoiled. Then she left us for another man, things just went downhill from there and I grew up. I told you I moved out of my father's house when I was 12 just in time for her to realise that she misses me. I lived with her because I had no other choice. I got away right after I turned 18. I couldn't do it anymore. Derek didn't have a perfect family either he had problems. So we moved to New York together, at first we lived together but we kept getting into each other's hair that we just ended up living in different apartments. But we were everything to each other you know, he was my brother, my best friend as long as we had each other we were fine, I didn't need anyone else."

"I had someone like that," he blurted out.

"That's good. Everyone should have that someone that keeps them alive," she said with a smile.

Eric smiled back at her. She had never smiled at him like that. It wasn't a sarcastic smile she always give him it was genuine. If only she could be like this all the time, it would be so peaceful. But then what fun that would be. They left it at that and went back into the room at the vampire hotel. Eric had gotten them a room with two double beds. He wasn't going let her out of his sight. He made her drink a Tru Blood before he let her have the bathroom to change, so she wouldn't tire easily. It was getting close to dawn and he had plans for them the next night.

Lilli got out of the bathroom after cleaning herself up and changing into a white tank top and black pyjama bottoms. She noticed Eric had already changed into his pyjamas which only consisted of a black tracksuit pants and was on his bed with both his arms behind his head looking at her. She tried to look away but she remembered what had happened before she left for New York and how she had those thoughts the night after. It was a good thing they were on separate beds. He really was something. She couldn't deny the fact that he was really good to look at, but she'd never say it out loud. She turned away from Eric and went to her bed and cuddled her pillow. She closed her eyes letting herself fall asleep.

"Why do you like that Alex guy anyway?" Eric asked from his bed.

"He's nice to me," she answered.

"I'm nice to you," he said.

"It's different," she muttered before finally falling asleep.

xxx

They had gotten on a plane right away after they rose the following night. It was around 2am and they were inside a three storey white modern home. A dark haired vampire with a very deep voice had let them in. He was wearing dark jeans, a black cowboy button up shirt and on top a brown leather vest with brown boots and a dark cowboy hat. If a vampire was wearing clothes like this, they were definitely in Texas.

"Why are we in Dallas?" Lilli asked Eric in a hushed voice.

"We are looking for that prisoner still, but this will be much easier than the night before."

"Underling," Eric greeted the tall scary looking muscular vampire.

"Eric," Underling said with a nod, "who is this?" he asked looking down at Lilli and analysing her. Lilli flinched at Underlings stare. Some vampires were just scary by nature, even if she was one she was intimidated.

"This is Lilli," he said, "Say hi," he instructed like she was a little girl.

"Hi," she said.

"Yours?" he asked.

Eric nodded.

"Good choice," Underling said before stepping back and sitting on the couch, "Isabel won't be too long. Sit."

They did so and sat at the couch across from Underling who had his feet up on the table. Both Lilli and Eric had a view of the white staircase that lead up to the upper floors. Everything inside the house was so white, porcelain and clean. It was so unusual for a vampire's house to be so white and clean when feeding is very messy. Lilli wondered if the owner of the house had a secret basement just like Eric's where she fed and slept at and if it wasn't as white as the upstairs, this house was the third vampire house that she has been in. Her eyes were starting to hurt from all the brightness when she saw a slim Hispanic woman descending down the staircase. She looked very formal with her skin tight gray suit and black open toed high heels. She was wearing light make up and her dark hair was up in a bun.

"Sheriff," Eric said as he stood up.

Lilli looked at him and stood up as well. _Sheriff?_ This woman was also a Sheriff. She realises why she looked so formal, although Eric never looks formal and he was a Sheriff.

"Oh Eric, it's just Isabel," she said walking over to him and shaking his hand, "Who is this?" she asked turning to Lilli.

"Lilli," Underling answered.

Lilli almost glared at him but refrained herself, he was too scary looking, "Hello," she said.

"What can I do for you two?" Isabel said. She motioned her hand for Eric and Lilli to sit back down and sat at the couch where Underling sat.

"Is Bill Compton in your prison area?" he asked.

"No, I would have told you if he was," she answered.

"I'll take your word on that and won't search your grounds,"

"Is there anything else I could do for you?" she asked.

"No," he said standing up. Lilli followed and stood up as well.

"Eric wait," Isabel called out, "How are you? I mean without Godric? You know tonight-"

"I'm fine," he croaked not looking at anyone, "Thank you for your help," he said. He grabbed Lilli's wrist and led her out of the house.

Eric didn't speak while he drove back to their hotel. Lilli didn't really have much to say so she kept quiet and just watched Eric from her seat. His eyes weren't cold and emotionless they were soft and as if he was thinking deeply about something. Something was off tonight, he was different. He had reacted weirdly when Isabel mentioned the name Godric. Who was he? She wanted to ask but didn't. Eric held her hand as they got out of the car, as if he didn't want to lose her. He kept squeezing her hand for time to time. Lilli didn't complain. It wasn't the time. She knew Eric wasn't his usual self. He made his way up to the rooftop of the hotel. He still hasn't spoken a word since they left Isabel's house. He let go of her hand.

"Why are we up here?" she voiced out finally.

"We all have our maker's, I am yours. A year ago tonight, this is where I last saw mine," he said softly.

"It's Godric isn't it? Where is he now?" she asked walking over the edge and looking at the wonderful view of Dallas. The moon was so bright it illuminated the city that was still so busy late at night. If only she could see it in daytime.

"Heaven, hell or purgatory. He's gone." Eric said and followed her to the edge and stood next to her.

"Eric," she murmured. She didn't know what else to say.

"I'm returning the favour and sharing myself to you so you'll be able share all of yourself to me, Godric was a big part of me,"

Lilli looked at him. He was looking at the moon intently and it looked like he was fighting to keep himself from crying. His cold hard exterior was just to cover up his pain. She knew exactly how that feels. It was like he was just like her.

"Maybe one day," she said reaching for his hand.

xxx

Get up get dressed and tell me when and where we get our chance  
Take me high and take me away, tell me how and why we accept this  
Take me high and take me far away

"Take Me Away" – Asteria

* * *

**A/N: **Dunno how old Eric was when he was turned. He looked like he was in his late 20's. This is I dunno…this What do you guys think?

Also I decided to make the next chapter the Christmas special... I'm not familiar with a lot of xmas songs so maybe you guys can recommend me some?

Thank you for the review: Textcrazy, julieakaweirdo, weezerz2490, skyeruby, AlexJade, mixmatched9, tori (hopefully this chapter answered your question), opticon217


	16. A Different Kind of Christmas

**Chapter 16: A Different Kind Of Christmas**

"What's your dream car?" Eric asked Lilli, while he fiddled with his phone.

They were back at his office in Fangtasia. A few weeks had passed since the rooftop incident in Dallas, Texas. Eric had dragged her all over the country, state after state looking for Bill Compton. It was also a part holiday if they had time they stayed for more than a few days and just saw the sights at night. Although Lilli would have preferred to see Mt. Rushmore and the Hollywood sign at daylight, but that wasn't possible. They had continued trying to get to know each other but Lilli's good mood had vanished and she was back at her temperamental state it didn't stop Eric from telling her stories from his past. He told her about the time he met the Queen Elizabeth I and tried to court her into bed and when he tried his charms again with Queen Elizabeth II.

Now they were back at Fangtasia and it was getting close to Christmas time. The wind was getting colder and it looked like it was close to snowing, although that was unlikely to happen.

"A black Toyota RAV4 with three doors, why?" Lilli answered from the couch. She was laid down with her hands on top of her head.

It was way too early in the night for her. She felt like she wanted to go back to sleep. They had just gotten back from Seattle an hour ago. She hadn't even seen Pam yet, she was kind of missing her. They had been gone for a long time.

"Just wondering," he muttered.

"Are you going to buy me one?" she chirped excitedly.

"We'll see," he said, "by the way the bar is closed from now till before New Years Eve," he informed her.

"Why?" she asked. She was hoping to see Alex and maybe apologise for being gone for so long. She also thought that she had been gone so long that he might have moved on. She didn't even have his number or her own phone.

"It's time for families to get together and all that. We try not to ruin that,"

"Oh," she said, "Damn."

"You want to see Alex," Eric said putting down his phone and looking at her.

Lilli looked away from him and Eric took it as a yes.

"What do vampires do for Christmas?" she asked changing the subject.

"We go to Europe," a female voice pipped in.

"Pam!" Lilli said cheerfully as she jumped up from the couch, "would you accept it if I said that I kinda missed you?"

"I guess I can accept that," Pam said pursing her lips and trying not to smile.

"I missed you then," Lilli said with a grin.

"And me," Eric added.

"Wow, we're like one big screwed up family," Pam said with a full smile.

"Did you buy me more clothes?" Lilli joked as she lie back down on the couch and let the adults talk.

"No, but how about I take you shopping in Europe," she said ruffling Lilli's hair on her way to Eric's new desk. "Eric did you find Bill?" she asked but there was venom in her voice when she said Bill's name, "you should just let him rot in whatever hole he's in."

"I cannot believe that so called King is making you do all this," Pam fumed.

"I can take away his kingdom from him anytime I want," Eric said.

"Then why don't you?"

"Too much responsibility," he shrugged.

xxx

Eric left Lilli alone at the house the following night. He said he had things to do alone. Lilli thought it was either he was meeting up with a fang-banger or buying her a car or both. She hoped it was buying her a car and hopefully without the fang-banger, that would just make her car messy and she wouldn't want to use it after that. Eric came home after a few hours. He had a big grin on his face when he walked in the door. Lilli was flicking through one of his old books when he came in.

"Honey I'm home!" he called out.

"What are you so happy about?" she asked irritably dropping her book on the coffee table.

"Come outside," he said grabbing her wrist and leading her out of the house, "close your eyes," he commanded.

Lilli did as Eric commanded and closed her eyes as he guided her to the driveway.

"Open your eyes," Eric whispered into her ear.

"Merry Christmas!" Eric yelled with his hands up in the air. Behind him was a black Volkswagen convertible buggy.

"This isn't what I asked for!" Lilli screamed.

"It's a car, an expensive one," he said opening the door and gesturing Lilli to get inside.

"This isn't a RAV4!" she sulked. She really thought she was going to get her dream car, but it was Eric, he never follows through anything she wants. At least it was a cute car.

"Like I'd let you drive a Toyota, get in," he said from the front seat and tossed her the key.

"Are we going somewhere?" she asked as she got in the driver's seat. She turned on the ignition and fastened her seatbelt.

"Yes to Pams," he said, "we're picking her up. We have a flight to London before dawn."

Lilli took her foot off the brake and backed out of the drive way, "you know you should at least give me the courtesy of telling me your plans maybe days before you drag me some place."

"What's the fun in that? So how's the car feel?" Eric asked. Lilli turned to him quickly, he looked so big on the front seat of her car she almost thought he looked cute.

"Surprisingly good, I still want a RAV4 though," she said.

Pam was already waiting outside when Lilli pulled up in front of her house. She was wearing her hot pink blazer, a pencil skirt with matching high heels. It looked very uncomfortable in Lilli's opinion but Pam had decades to move perfectly in her clothes. She also had red leather covered suitcases around next to her. Eric got out of the car and told Lilli to keep the engine on. He helped Pam and placed her suitcases on the car's trunk.

"Is she a good driver?" Pam asked warily as she got in the back seat.

"She could be better," Eric said.

"Gee thanks for the confidence," Lilli muttered as she drove off Pams place. The three of them went back to Eric's place. Lilli once again packed her stuff even though she just got home and unpacked her things the night before. She had been to Europe the year before and she didn't think she would be back again.

"Are you guys not ready yet?" Pam screamed from the doorway. She had her suitcases beside her.

"Give us a few minutes," Eric told her.

"Let's get the fuck out of here and get to Europe NOW!" Pam said impatiently as she tapped her toes on the marbled tiled floor.

"Patience Pam," Eric said placing his and Lilli's bags next to Pams.

"Lilli," Pam called out, "hurry up."

"Coming!"Lilli yelled as she ran to the front door, "I'm ready let's go," she breathed out.

"Wait, I got you something," Pam said. She flicked through one of her bags and took out a grey fur lined hat with earflaps, she placed it on top of Lilli's head, "There doesn't she look adorable Eric?" she said fixing the ends and brushing her hair towards the front. Lilli groaned and frowned at the two of them.

"It's like you I brought you home a living doll Pam," Eric said rolling his eyes.

xxx

"She has a certain attachment to you," Eric said looking over at Lilli who was asleep across from them at a few of the chairs at the airport. New vampires were easily worn down and he had been dragging her all over the country he couldn't blame her for falling asleep all the time.

"She's bearable," Pam muttered.

"Come now Pam. It's more than that,"

"Fine she is an interesting girl. If I ever had a daughter she would have been my first choice. She reminds me of my sister," she sighed.

"Maybe I should have let you turn her,"

"No she is yours I can see that. I just enjoy her company is all," Pam smiled.

"She is quite interesting," Eric said with a smile playing on his lips.

xxx

"Look up," Eric said.

Lilli looked up to the ceiling and found a mistletoe hanging from the chandelier. They were at his apartment in Stockholm on Christmas Eve. They had landed in London a few nights ago and she found herself at the London Hotel Camilla. For two nights they stayed there and Pam kept her promise and took Lilli out for their Christmas shopping and sightseeing. The next night Eric and Pam thought Lilli how to ski at the mountains covered with snow in Germany and then hopped on a train to Stockholm.

"You set me up! That wasn't there before!" she shouted at him. She fought the urge of grinning at him. He had been so nice the past few weeks if you take out the part where he took her away from her date with Alex. One kiss wouldn't hurt. He did just buy her a new car and the first time wasn't too bad.

"I did no such thing," he said with a smirk.

"I'm not doing it," she said, looking away from him.

"It's tradition, you have to," he moaned and pouted his lips.

"Who knew vampires celebrate Christmas?" Lilli said trying to change the subject.

"We do love this time, so now you have to kiss me," his smirk got bigger.

Lilli scoffed at him, "How? You're so freaking tall I wouldn't be able to reach up."

"How about this?" Eric said as he picked her up by the waist and levelled their height difference.

She squealed, "let me down!"

"We're still under a mistletoe," he chuckled.

"Fine," she said. She placed her lips on his quickly with her eyes open. She pulled away after just a second. Eric was taken back she kissed him so quickly that he didn't get the chance to close his eyes, so as their lips touched they were both staring into each other's eyes.

_Weirdest kiss ever, _she thought.

"Wow," he said, putting her down back on the ground.

"What?" she said glaring at him.

"I didn't think you'd do it,"

"Well soon enough you were going to force me to, so I did it on my will, that's all you're getting for Christmas though," she huffed crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know if that kiss costs as much as your car,"

"It totally does," she said smirking at Eric.

"Presents!" Pam screamed in delight, interrupting Eric and Lilli. In her hands were two packages wrapped in red with a big green bow on top, "here you go," she said and handed Eric and Lilli their presents.

"Here's mine," Lilli said and grabbed the presents under their red Christmas tree she gave Pam the big gold silver box. She glared at Eric before giving him his present.

Eric opened the small package wrapped in Christmas paper. It was a black necklace with dog tags as pendants. He took it out and touched the tag it had one word was engraved on it. _Jerk_, Eric read. He laughed loudly. It was so like her to buy him a present like that. He handed the necklace over to Pam. Pam had gotten him a scarf.

"It's perfect," Pam laughed at Eric's new necklace.

Eric took out two small boxes from his pockets and handed the black box to Lilli and the white one to Pam.

"Ooh more jewellery," Pam cooed as she took her present from Eric's hands and sat down on the couch. She opened Lilli's present first and found a pair of pink open toe Louis Vuitton pumps with a bow on top, "Shoes, Thanks Lilli, I've been meaning to buy one of these for a while now," she said. She opened Eric's and found a pair of gold earrings, "typical," she muttered with a smile.

Lilli sat down close to Pam and opened her present from Pam. It was a grey Legende Long Champ handbag. Her eyes widened when she unwrapped it from the thin paper it was wrapped in. She had never had a bag that was this expensive, although she did just buy Pam a pair of shoes she would have never bought with her salary back at New York, but Eric had a lot of money. "I love it Pam!" she squealed as she hugged the bag close to her chest. She opened Eric's present next. She pulled out a necklace made out of small black pearls and a white bow as a pendant.

It was beautiful, "wow," she gasped, "Thanks."

"Who knew vampires were into Christmas and presents," Lilli said.

"Most aren't but we are, plus it's your first Christmas with us we wanted it to be special," Pam said.

_We wanted it to be special. _Lilli almost cried at that spot if she hadn't stopped herself. She hadn't had a Christmas worth remembering. Her past Christmases were filled with, physical injuries, disappointment and drunken parents, nothing worth remembering. After that she had spent Christmas sitting on a couch watching movies with a bucket of ice cream. She never thought that these vampires that she met just a few months ago wanted her to have a special Christmas. That it mattered to them. This Christmas was worth remembering. She smiled at both vampires sincerely. She was getting it now. They really did care about her.

Eric flinched. She had dropped her wall for a second he could feel the overwhelming emotion and almost happiness inside of her. He turned away and smiled. He was doing something right for her.

He turned back to her and said "Merry Christmas,"

xxx

Lilli was in the bedroom Eric had stashed her in. They all had separate light tight bedrooms in Eric's apartment. She lay in bed in her pyjamas. Before resting she grabbed the phone from the bedside table and punched in the number.

"Hey baby, looking for something fun tonight?" Lilli said in a raspy seductive voice over the phone.

"What kind of fun are you thinking about? Cause I've been a very naughty boy," the guy replied.

"Well Santa isn't going to give you any presents this year but I might," she giggled.

"No I wanted presents!" the guy groaned disappointedly.

"You know Santa isn't real," she said.

"Yes he is! Stop lying to me!" the guy replied childishly.

"Derek," she laughed.

"I thought you forgot about me? How'd I do?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I'll never forget about you. You did great, Merry Christmas," she said.

"Merry Christmas, it's so weird that you're not here with me I'm watching anchorman all by myself, it doesn't seem right quoting Ron Burgundy without you,"

Lilli smiled sadly, she wanted to be beside him right now and watching their favourite movie for the hundredth time, "I miss you," she whispered.

"I miss you too,"

She felt like crying but she took a gulp and swallowed the loneliness away, "Guess where I am."

"Please don't tell me you're in Eric's bed, I hated those calls," he said with a disgusted tone.

"No ew," she shouted, "I'm in Stockholm a street away from where we stayed last year."

"Everything looks the same, I wish you were here," she sighed.

"I wish you were here too, how are you?"

"I'm great," she confessed.

"Even with Eric?"

"Yeah," she smiled, "he's not too bad you know. I mean he's still an asshole but there's more to him than just that."

"I find that hard to believe," he exclaimed.

"I did too," she muttered, "I dunno he's just different from what I imagine. I should let you sleep I know you always work on Boxing Day. I couldn't let this day pass without at least hearing your voice."

"Same here, I really miss you,"

"I do too, Merry Christmas,"

"Merry Christmas,"

xxx

It's a different kind of Christmas, in a different kind of world, even though it looks the same  
Everything has changed, it's a different kind of Christmas

'A Different Kind Of Christmas'

xxx

* * *

**A/N:** Man vampires are rich… I wish I can afford those presents. Tron comes out tomorrow! Garrett Hedlund! Although I think I'm more excited for Country Strong. He is Alex in this story if you wanted to check he's on my profile page. The man is beautiful I think I've been swooning over him since I was 14. Anyway Merry Christmas my life has been a mess so I'll fix it first I might be a while to update. Plus I might be drooling all over Garrett. But then you never know I do love this story.


	17. Alexithymia

**Chapter 17: Alexithymia**

Lilli stared at the blonde from across the room. He hadn't noticed her yet. She had been hiding out at Eric's office ever since they got to Fangtasia at the start of the night. They had gotten off the plane from Europe just hours before rising. She had been cooped up in Eric's room for a few hours pacing and trying to think of a way to approach Alex after what happened the last time she saw him. It wasn't even her fault. Eric should be the one pacing and thinking of ways to apologise to him. But no, he was outside sitting on his throne playing with his phone, while she stressed inside his office for what he had done. She took a big breath, like she always does before doing something uncomfortable, before realising she didn't have one. She shrugged it off and just made her way to Alex.

"Hey," she greeted nervously.

"You're back! I'm glad you're here," Alex said with a big smile at the sight of her.

"I am so sorry. Eric took us to North Carolina then we got back just after Christmas and after that he took us away to Europe. So it's been kind of hectic. Sorry I haven't been around much you know after our date and all," she muttered.

"That's alright. I'm happy you're back though, you got me worried there for a second, so um about our date," he said scratching the back of his head. A trait Lilli found out that he does when he's nervous.

"About that, I actually had time to think about this us," she said before he could say anything else.

"And?"

"I'm new to this being a vampire thing. I'm still learning how to control myself and I don't think I can deal with you know us right now," Lilli explained.

"Okay," Alex sounded disappointed.

"I like you but maybe we could be just friends?"

"Oh," he sighed and turned away from her.

"I mean what's the rush we're vampires time is on our side," she said grabbing his hand so she didn't sound like a bitch. Alex turned back to face her.

"I guess I can deal with that, so are we friends with benefits?" he teased and smiled.

Lilli smiled, he understood her. "Sometimes," she chuckled as a reply.

"You can make a guy feel used," Alex joked with his hand in chest.

"Only you," she laughed, "cause you're special," she said sincerely.

"I guess I can accept that," he answered, "so it's New Years Eve do I get a kiss at midnight?"

"We'll see," she giggled and walked away from him.

"Hey!" he called out after her.

Lilli walked towards Eric's office. Even though Alex was still outside at the bar as well as Eric and Pam, everyone was getting to her. It was New Years Eve. She got that plus she had just let down the guy she liked. She had done it again.

Clubs were way busier on special nights. But she always stayed home whenever those nights come around. She wasn't good with people and crowds. At times like these she'd rather be alone. There were way too many people tonight. They had the usual vampires plus a few tourists with and without human companions. There were almost 30 vampires and almost twice as many humans trying something daring for the start of the New Year. She didn't think that Fangtasia could fit this many people. She could barely move out there. The music was turned up high and everyone was chatting. It was irritating through her newly magnified hearing. At least it was a bit quieter in Eric's office.

She was alone in his office. It looked like everyone was outside celebrating another year ending. Her head was throbbing, which she thought couldn't happen anymore. She set herself down on the couch, closed her eyes but didn't let herself fall asleep. She heard the door open and close after a few moments and footsteps walking closer to her. She felt the weight on the couch change and a hand touching her cheek.

She opened her eyes to Eric sitting next to her, with one hand stroking her cheek and hair.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked sincerely.

"You're still wearing that?" Lilli said about the necklace dangling around Eric's neck.

"I'll wear it for the rest of my life," he muttered.

"Okay," she replied, she wasn't really in the mood for bantering tonight.

"How are you feeling?" he asked once again.

"Not too good," she answered truthfully.

"It's because you haven't fed for a few days," he said getting up and walking over to the small fridge at the corner of his office. He sat back next to her with a bottle of blood.

"It's real blood," he informed, offering her the bottle.

"I don't want it," she winced. She had been feeling guilty about drinking from humans but she couldn't stand Tru Blood, she'd rather starve.

"You will lose your strength. Drink," he commanded.

"Fine," she said and took the drink from him. She sat up and started drinking. "What's it like out there?" she asked trying to converse with him.

"Still very active," he said. Eric made himself comfortable on the couch by leaning against it and placing his hands over his head. "I see Alex is here, he hasn't spoken to me I am appalled," he said with a laugh.

"Ugh," she groaned at him, "and how many girls have you taken to the basement tonight?"

"None," Eric replied looking at her.

Lilli laughed and almost spit out her drink, "I don't believe you."

"Check the basement if you'd like. You know they take a while to recover," Eric stated.

"Too much information, I told you I don't want to know these things! Like I don't want to walk down there to grab a case of Tru Blood and find a naked girl just hanging there," she complained.

"You asked," Eric smirked.

"I guess I shouldn't have," she rolled her eyes and got up to leave the room.

The noise was still irritating through her ears. The sound of Nine Inch Nails blasting through the speakers would have been pleasant to her ears any other night. Tonight it just sounded way too loud and the sound of bass felt like it was inside her brain. It felt like the bar had been busier since she spent time inside Eric's office. She could hear every little sound. Frustrated with all the noise she trudged her way out of the bar.

It was almost midnight. She could see that everyone was pairing up for that New Year's kiss. She felt like throwing up at the thought of participating with some stupid tradition people do to get laid. She scoffed as she walked out of the bar. Theo was outside guarding the door. She gave him a nod as she walked past him. She went over to Eric's car and climbed on top of it, the roof was flatter than her car. She rested her back and let herself lie down. She just stared at the dark sky with stars scattered everywhere. She could still hear the slight sound of music from the bar, but it was drowned out by the beautiful sky. The sky was never this bright at the city that never sleeps.

She hadn't realised how much time had passed. She only snapped back into reality when a familiar voice spoke, "Hey you left me hanging there."

Lilli turned her head and saw the blonde standing next to her.

"Alex," she gasped in surprise, "how long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"A while," he said with a smile, "schooch over I want to dent Eric's car," he said with a grin.

Lilli laughed and moved over to make room for Alex. He jumped up and joined her staring up at the sky. He turned to her and smiled.

"Why are you out here on your own?" he asked.

"I'm not alone now am I?" she said, "It was just getting too much in there," she confessed.

"You're not a party person huh?"

"Not really," she shrugged.

"You work in a bar," he pointed out.

"I have no choice," she said turning over and facing him.

"You always have a choice," he murmured tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

She looked into his eyes, they had changed colours. They were now the colour of the ocean. It made her think if she had made the wrong choice. Alex was a great guy. He seemed to be always there when she needed him. He knew the right words to say to her. Being around him made her feel all warm, fuzzy and slightly happy. It made being a vampire look comfortable. She liked him and he seemed to like her back. It just really couldn't happen right now as much as she wanted it to.

"Come on the countdown is starting," he said.

"I can't it's just way too much for me there, it's too loud," she grumbled.

She felt his fingers intertwined with hers, "you can drown it out," Alex said, "just focus on one thing and then just tried to lower the volume slowly with your mind."

Lilli focused her hearing on the song. It sounded like an Overseer song to her ears, but it was still way too loud. She tried drowning out the number of voices. She could only hear Pam and Eric's conversation now. She closed her eyes and tried lowering the volume of the music. Once she opened her eyes, her hearing was just like when she was still human.

"You're better than Eric with this," she told Alex.

"I know I am," he grinned proudly.

Lilli laughed, "Ok let's go," she said. She let go of his hand as they both jumped of Eric's car.

"I really want to dent this car, maybe I'll key it?" Alex suggested.

Lilli laughed again at Alex. She grabbed his hand and walked them towards the front door.

"Someone's going to get it oon," Theo cooed at the two vampires heading towards him.

Lilli glared at him and Alex just laughed.

The crowd had already started when they got in. Their hands got separated as they walked through the busy crowd. They found a space just enough for the two of them.

"Five," the crowd started to shout as they counted down the New Year.

Lilli grabbed a hold of Alex's hand.

"Four,"

Alex took in Lilli's other hand into his.

"Three,"

They step closer to each other.

"Two,"

Two playful smiles are pasted on both their faces.

"One! Happy New Year!"

_To hell with not following stupid traditions, _she thought.

Lilli crashed her lips on Alex. He deepened the kiss as everyone around them did the same.

Lilli felt chills run down her spine then Eric's face popped into her head. _Office_ he said. She pulled away from Alex unexpectedly and told him happy New Year before leaving him to the energized crowd. She marched towards Eric's office pushing anyone who got in her way harshly.

"Goddamn it Eric!" Lilli screamed as she burst through the door. She had gained her strength back. "Why do you keep doing this?"

_So much for not fighting tonight._

"To kiss him outside of this bar that I can allow but to kiss him in my establishment I cannot," he said pursing his lips like he was mad.

Lilli looked up at him towering over her, "why does it matter to you where I kiss him?"

"Because you are my child, you are mine. I cannot let these vampires here see that you're with someone else!" he half shouted.

"I'm not your property!" she glared at him, "I can kiss whoever I want!"

He placed his hand on his cheek. He lowered his head and whispered into her ear, "Yes you are, and soon every kiss of yours will be mine, all mine."

Lilli pulled back she placed her hands on Eric's chest and pushed him away.

"Don't say those things to me!" she screamed at him furiously and made her way out of his office.

"Lilli," he called out and grabbed her wrist.

"I don't want you saying those things to me. God it's like everyone is a toy to you. At least mean it when you say it!" she screamed at him taking her wrist away from his touch before slamming the door. She fought off the crowd once more and drove back home.

Lilli's emotion was a mess. _Way to start the New Year Lilli, _she thought.

At the start of the night she had her emotions in control. Something she hadn't been able to do for a while. After being made into a vampire she had trouble with keeping her emotions balanced and intact. Alex had made her happy which added to her high and Eric being nice to her sometimes helps. Tonight was a mess of highs and lows and it was all Eric's fault.

She didn't mind him anymore. She had found him decent and had more to him than the arrogant, egoistic thousand year old vampire that he was. She didn't want him saying things to her that made it seem like he liked her, that he wanted her. She didn't want him to feel that way. All she wanted was to get past being a new vampire without trying to kill herself. She just wanted everything to feel normal to her but it seemed like Eric had another agenda. She didn't like it, she couldn't.

He knocked on her door, "Lilli," he called out.

"If you're smart you won't come in," she muttered. She was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees.

"Look what happened before I'm -"

Lilli interrupted, "Don't say it,"

"But I am," Eric said.

"I'll stay with Pam for a few nights," she muttered.

"You don't have to do that,"

"I just need to be away from you for a few nights," she sulked.

"What did I do?" he questioned.

_What did I do? What did I do? How could he not know what he did? _She fumed, she wanted to kick him.

"You just made me think there was more to you than this asshole thing going on. I was wrong,"

"You choose that vampire Alex over me?" Eric growled.

"For your information I ended things with him," she shouted at him, "whatever we were."

"Oh," he sighed, "Then I'm sorry for my actions,"

"I told you not to say it!" she screamed at him. He was as emotionally unstable as her. One time he's apologising then he's angry and then apologising again.

"I'm not good at sharing," he took a pause, "..you."

"Whatever Eric, just leave me alone," she murmured.

Eric backed off and went to his room. There was nothing he could do tonight, "Happy New Year," he muttered sourly.

xxx

With downcast eyes, there's more to living than being alive  
Are you where you thought you'd be, so beautiful and only twenty-three,  
opposition rests in the hearts

'Alexithymia' – Anberlin

xxx

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A/N: **And they're back to square one… I can't believe I'm up to Chapter 17 already. Thanks for all the reviews by the way!

Sorry I've been gone for a while. I had a writer's block so I rewatched True Blood and created a Sims family of Eric, Pam and Lilli, yeah I've been stuck at home way too long. Um yeah this is a filler. Hope it was alright I don't know if the song is suitable but it has Alex's name and I came across its meaning: difficulty describing feelings to other people, and that's exactly what Lilli is doing.


	18. Taken Back By You

**Chapter 18: Taken Back By You**

Eric stood outside Pam's guest room where Lilli was cooped up in. She had been staying with Pam for over a week. She had been ignoring him while she worked at Fangtasia no matter how much he tried reasoning with her verbally and through their bond, she still wouldn't acknowledge him and come home. Why did she have to be so difficult?

"Come home," he muttered against the door. He hated grovelling and he had enough of her actions. She was supposed to follow every word that came out of his mouth. After months of being his progeny she still didn't get it and after what had happened in New York he didn't want to push anything. He didn't want to be like her father. He didn't want her to hate him if they were going to spend eternity together. But his patience was wearing thin and he was never a patient man to start with.

"No, you're a jerk!" she yelled from inside the room.

"Stop being so childish and come home," he growled.

"No!" she screamed once again.

"Ok I have had enough of this," Eric shouted back, "As your maker I command you to come home."

Lilli forced herself out of the room. The tiny brunette glared at Eric as she caught sight of him.

"New rules, you will behave and do as I say," he said through his clenched teeth, "or there will be consequences."

"I forgive you," she blurted out looking straight at him.

"What?" Eric asked, taken aback. What was she forgiving him for?

"You said sorry for ruining yet another good kiss from Alex," she muttered.

Eric flinched. He wanted to get that image out of his head.

"He and I are friends and you're still an asshole," she spat, "but as I said I forgive you and I don't forgive anyone that easily."

"So what if I am, I am just trying to protect you, that guy is bad news," he said, dragging her out of Pam's house.

"No he's not. He's the only good thing I get out of you making me into a vampire and Pam," she complained.

"Enough chit chat, we are going home," he said and grabbed her by the arm. He wasn't going to give her a chance to get away.

"Hey I have a suggestion," Lilli said, "how about we try to get along. We do live together."

"You're the one who always starts a fight with me," Eric said.

"You're the one who always cockblock me!" she protested.

"Cockblock? Really?" he said amused.

"I do my thing even if that includes making out with Alex once in a while, don't worry I will do it outside of Fangtasia and you can go on with your usual fang-bangers," she said ignoring what he had said.

"And you," he smirked.

Lilli looked at him angrily and gave him the finger.

"There you go again! Why do I even bother?" she sighed, "I'm being the bigger person here, I forgave you and you do this! You should really just let me stay with Pam from now on."

"Fine, fine, fine," he grumbled, "let's coexist happily," he said trying to smile.

"You know I think I get it," Lilli started to say.

"Get what?" Eric said.

"That even if you're an ass you're just being protective.. you know like a father," she looked down at her feet as if she was ashamed of something, "I'm just not used to that, I never had it. It's actually kind of cool. I never got to have that teenage phase when your parents forbid you to see a guy they don't like so I guess that's why I acted that way."

"Plus you're an asshole," she muttered under her breath, "for once I get to be a kid and not look out for myself every second because I.." she paused, "have you."

Eric stopped and let go of her arm. He looked at Lilli who was still looking at the ground. She had just told him that she relied on him and that meant that she trusted him. How could he have missed that?

"You are there for me right? That was part of you turning me into this right?" she asked embarrassed as if she wanted to take back what she had said.

He turned her to face him and squeezed her arms, "Yes I am," he said reassuring her, "I will always be here to protect you."

"Okay," she sighed, "let's go home," she said and suddenly smiled at him.

"Is that all you wanted to hear?" Eric couldn't help himself and asked.

"Yeah," Lilli shrugged.

"You really are a peculiar one, I should have said told you that a week ago then," Eric laughed as he took Lilli into his arms and flew away, "let's get something to eat."

xxx

And all those things you say out of nowhere I'm taken back by you  
And all those places that you've shown me I'm taken back by you taken back by you

Taken Back By You - New Found Glory

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**A/N:** Short one. Thanks for the reviews!


	19. Burdens Of The Past

**Chapter 19: Burdens Of The Past**

Fangtasia was quiet. Somehow most of the vampires weren't at the bar. Maybe there was a trial held by the magister that Eric had forgotten to attend. It didn't matter, he was preoccupied.

"Come on tell me," Eric whispered into the girl's ear.

"No," she answered trying to squirm away from his touch.

"Tell me," he said playfully and wrapped his arms around Lilli. She struggled to get out of his hands. He pulled her close and resulted with the vampire sitting on his lap.

"Why do you do this to me?" Lilli asked.

"I find it alluring," he said nuzzling her neck, if only she was human he'd bite her right there. "Now tell me. How did you lose your virginity?"

"No," Lilli scowled.

"Don't make me use those words," he smiled, "I need to know everything about you."

She had gotten used to Eric and his ways but she was still surprised when he smiled it always made her feel all warm inside and she really didn't like that. Their relationship was going well but he was so nosy sometimes asking about her life as a human. He never gave up until she answered him. There were still times that she was annoyed by him and she'd stay over at Pam's for a few days to cool off. He understood and just let her come home on her own will, most times. She was warming up to him and didn't hate him as much as she used to. There were just things he wasn't supposed to know.

"Please let it go," she pleaded turning her head towards him and looking straight at his green eyes.

"I have nothing else to do tonight," he said with a playful look.

"Ugh, Eric. Don't you get tired of this?" she scoffed turning away.

Lilli was feeling conscious about Eric and how his hands were wrapped around her body. Her thoughts going off to somewhere she didn't want, just like the time he kissed her. Luckily her thoughts were interrupted by Pam walking in.

"Eric, someone is here to see you," she said, "Why wasn't I invited to this?" she pointed out as she looked up and down at both Eric and Lilli.

"You're welcome to join us," he said smirking and holding out a hand for Pam while his other still wrapped around Lilli's waist.

"Maybe next time," Pam shrugged with an eye roll, " Eric," she said calling him over.

"Tell them to wait I have other things to do tonight," Eric answered.

"Oh no go with her," Lilli said, happy to get rid of him and his questions. Eric just looked at her with a look that said 'she wasn't getting rid of him that easily.'

"It's Sookie Stackhouse," Pam said harshly.

His hand slowly unwrapped themselves around her waist. Lilli got up from Eric's lap slowly as she watched Eric's face tightened and his lips turned into a small smirk. "Tell her I'll be right out."

Pam gave him a nod and walked out of his office, closing the door behind her.

"Who's Sookie Stackhouse?" Lilli asked curiously.

"I want you to go home Lilli," he said flatly.

"Who is she?" she asked again.

"Go home and stay there," Eric said more loudly.

Lilli looked at him and tried her hardest not to glare at him. She got out of his office with a huff. The man was acting strange all of a sudden. He was as moody as her. As she walked through the bar the regulars greeted her with a nod and the new human boys looked at her as if hoping to get to know her for the night. She gave them a stare that made them look away in fear. It was one of the few things she liked about being a vampire, losers get lost with just one 'fuck off' look because they know how easily she could snap their neck.

She searched for this Sookie Stackhouse around the club, not knowing what she was looking for. A female or maybe a male it was a strange name, Sookie. She caught a glimpse of Pam through the dancing crowd. She was next to a blonde lady who was dressed in a white top and navy blue fitted jeans. She looked so out of place and right then. She knew who she was right away. _Sookie Stackhouse._ She wasn't alone. She was with a tall guy wearing a red flannel shirt over his muscular body and jeans that really complimented his legs and his butt, he had wavy brown hair almost black that came down to his chin that was covered with a beard. He had the whole tall dark and handsome thing going on for him, but his stench was strong and unpleasant to Lilli's nose.

_Who the hell was she and why does she smell so delicious? Why does that guy smell so disgusting?_

"Do you know that girl?" she asked Alex as she sat down next to him, pointing out the blonde.

"Never seen her before," Alex shrugged looking away quickly.

"And the guy?"

"Dunno," he said, "want a Tru Blood?" he offered.

"No it's alright," Lilli said eyes still focused on the blonde girl and the muscular guy.

She watched as Eric got out of his office. His hands smoothing down his hair as he walked towards Pam and company.

"I think I'll go say hi," Lilli said and hopped off her chair and made her way towards Eric.

xxx

It's more than these walls we've built up inside. We see it in images frozen in time.  
But we won't give this up tonight. It's more that these walls have built up with time.  
We see that it's killing our will to try, but we can try to make this right.

'Burdens Of The Past' – Amber Pacific

xxx

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A/N:** Thank you. Thank you for the reviews! Sorry I haven't had time to reply to them I moved houses. That's why this one took so long as well. I already had it written down just needed revising and to be uploaded.


	20. Memories

**Chapter 20: Memories**

"I don't think that's a good idea," Alex called out grabbing Lilli's wrists and pulling her back into her seat.

"She's just a girl. A human girl what harm could she do, I just want to say hi," she said. She took his hand and dragged him across the room.

"This is a bad idea," he muttered gulping down the rest of his Tru Blood.

xxx

"Sookie, It's been a while," Eric greeted the blonde girl in front of him excitedly, "How come I didn't feel your presence?"

"All the vampire blood in me is gone," she pointed out proudly, cocking her head up to catch his eyes.

Eric had to look away, "Alcide," Eric gave a nod to the tall dark haired guy.

"Hi, I'm Lilli," she suddenly popped out of nowhere. Eric watched as she held out her hand for Sookie to shake as she introduced herself. She looked at the blonde haired girl then to the tall guy and gave him a smile.

"I'm Sookie," she said and shook her hand hesitantly.

Lilli turned to the guy next to Sookie and gave him the biggest smile and her hand reached out for his to shake. "Uh, Alcide," the guy stuttered and shook her hand nervously.

"Lilli I told you to go home," Eric said in a forceful tone grabbing her arm and faced her away from the crowd.

"I don't have to follow you all the time," she said turning away from him and smiling up again at the interesting smelling human. Sookie smiled back at her with a small forced smile while Pam watched with a sly smile on her purple coloured lips.

"Yes you do," Eric said raising his eyebrows at her. Lilli smiled at him mockingly and turned her head again to Sookie.

"Who are you?" Sookie asked curiously.

"I already told you, I'm Lilli," she answered with a frown, "Pam says I can have a pet. Would you like to be my pet? You smell nice," Lilli asked sweetly looking up at Sookie and breathing in her scent. She had heard Pam talking about keeping a human as a pet, to feed on anytime she wanted and Sookie smelt delicious.

"Lilli!" Eric protested and grabbed her arm pulling her towards him, "She's my progeny," Eric spoke and saw Lilli roll her eyes at him not even the least embarrassed about asking a human to be her pet. She pulled away from Eric and shrugged him off.

"She's not a good candidate for that anyway," Pam whispered to Lilli with a grin.

Sookie ignored both Pam and Lilli. She looked at Eric questioningly, "Another one?"

"She's new as you can see she's not very compliant to her master yet," he said through clenched teeth.

"Go home," Eric told her.

"No, I want to talk to Sookie," Lilli said ignoring him, "This is Alex," she introduced the blonde vampire whose hands wrapped around hers. She faced him towards Sookie. Alex looked at Sookie unusually then waved shyly.

"Go home," Eric commanded.

"You're not my _father_," Lilli emphasised on the word father knowing that it would make more impact to him.

"I will not ask you again," he said trying his hardest on not raising his voice.

"Fine," she sighed rolling her eyes, "don't get your knickers in a twist. I just wanted to say hi," she said. She heard Sookie and Alcide giggle at her comment.

"Lilli," he growled.

"I'm going home, I'm going home," she shrugged.

"Take her home, make sure she gets home safe," Eric said to Alex, "she better be alone when I come home."

"It was nice meeting you Sookie. I hope we can see each other again," Lilli said and gave her a playful wink just to annoy Eric.

"Yeah you too," Sookie said timidly.

Eric kept his eyes on Lilli as she walked out of the bar with Alex in tow. He made sure she was outside before talking to Sookie again. This situation was going to be hard to explain to Lilli. He hadn't seen Sookie for almost a year. Not since the night when he got rid of Russell and told her the truth about her so called boyfriend. She had disappeared right then and after that he didn't know what to do. It was also the night he was betrayed by Bill, Sookie's precious Bill. He hadn't seen Bill either. Eric didn't care about Bill disappearing. The far away he was from him the better. That's why he hadn't been focusing on finding where he was buried. He would be happy if he could stake the bastard right now. Still Eric knew that Bill's the reason why Sookie is suddenly at his establishment.

He had been so fascinated with her that he may have had feelings for her, if he knew the feeling. He still wasn't sure if his feelings for her were real, seeing that the way she smelt and the way she had this certain aura that pulled him into wanting her may have been just because she was one of the fae. From what he had heard from Godric they had always been desired by vampires and that can be easily be mistaken with infatuation. There was also the fact that he had never felt that way about a woman before, it wasn't in his nature. So did he really have feelings for her? She had disappeared before he even got a chance to find out. Now that she's back maybe he'll finally find out. The other question is if she ever felt something for him.

"Can we talk somewhere private?" Sookie asked, snapping Eric's attention back into her big brown eyes.

"The basement perhaps," Eric suggested.

"Great, a lot of good memories I had there," Sookie said sarcastically.

"Oh Sookie that is not why we're going down there but if you says so I'm ready for it," Eric grinned proudly, he just couldn't help himself.

"I mean when you chained me down there like a rabid dog oh and when you tortured my friend Lafayette for weeks!" she spat at him.

"It is soundproof down there," Eric said, "you stay here," he told the werewolf.

"No I'm coming with. She needs to be protected from you," Alcide said.

"Fine, at least your horrible stench would be away from all the vampires here that would want to rip your throat out right now," Eric said looking around at the few vampires that were at his bar. All of which were staring their way with menacing looks on their eyes. It would only take one vampire to kill a wolf. Alcide was in deep waters.

"Pam calm them down," Eric said, "give them a round of Tru Blood and tell them this wolf won't be staying long."

"Aye, aye captain," Pam replied with a salute. She strutted towards the bar ready to deal with her anxious customers.

Eric trudged down the stairs towards his basement, Sookie and Alicide behind him. He had seen and done horrible things in his basement, it was his special place.

"You picked a good night to come visit. Tonight is one of our slowest night," Eric said to Alcide, "if it was any other night you'd be ripped into pieces by now."

"Your new progeny is something," Sookie voiced out.

"She is quite interesting," Eric replied.

"Where's Bill, Eric?" Sookie asked, she couldn't keep herself from asking anymore.

"I would try and act surprised but I knew that was coming," Eric said smugly.

"Where is he?" Sookie asked, with her eyes pleading at him, "Eric please I need him, I'm still in love with him, I can't help it," she whimpered trying not to cry. Alcide looked away at this comment as if he doesn't want to hear it.

_Does the wolf have feelings for the fairy? _Eric thought.

"I don't know if you've heard but he killed the queen. He was sentenced just a year ago,"

"Where?" Sookie asked frantically, "I have to get him out," she shouted.

"I'm still working on it, I'll give you a call when I have his location," Eric said not meaning his words.

"Eric," Sookie started to say.

"How is it that all the vampire blood inside of you is gone? It's not possible," Eric said interrupting her. He'd been curious ever since Pam had announced that she was actually in the premises and he didn't feel a thing. He was also already sick of hearing about Bill Compton.

"It is, my people drained it from my system. I would also advice you not tell anyone what I am and tell Pam to keep her mouth shut, I am stronger now, I can easily kill,"

"Are you threatening me?" Eric said with a proud smirk.

"Not yet," she answered.

"Oh Sookie that just makes me tingle inside," Eric smirked playfully.

"Don't change the subject," she spat.

"I will try and find him but no promises," Eric said without any plans on finding Mr. Compton.

xxx

These things they got me thinking about about how it could have been how it should have been.  
All of these memories are making me think that we should have been that we still should have been.

'Memories' – Danger Radio

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**A/N:** Yay Chapter 20..? This was the hardest chapter to find a song to. Thank you for the reviews julieakawierdo, truebloodfan24 and weezer2490 I couldn't thank you through PM.


	21. Late Nights

**Chapter 20: Late Nights**

Eric's head was spinning. Maybe because he drank a whole bottle of whisky before he left Fangtasia, but the alcohol wouldn't stay more than five minutes in his system. Maybe it was because a certain annoying blonde woman just popped back into his life and scrambled his thoughts. Eric had everything figured out. He was now a new maker once again and it was his goal to make a great vampire out of Lilli and make her behave. He hadn't even thought of Sookie for months now except for the thoughts that came along with searching for Bill Compton's body. All the weird feelings that came with Sookie were brought back into the surface and he was now comparing them to how he feels about his new vampire, Lilli.

Lilli, she was unpredictable and impatient. The girl had trouble expressing all her thoughts and feelings, but will express them out loud when she wanted too or if provoked. She never lets anyone take advantage of her. She's strong, hard-headed and puts everyone in their place, even him. She was annoying and likeable at the same time. He would never pick her for a girl who would throw herself out of the window. For the past few weeks she was everything he thought about, how to get to know her, how to please her, how to make her like him, how to make her stop screaming at him and more. But now Sookie invaded his thoughts and how Lilli looked so interested in her right away. He was sure of what he wanted but now he's not too sure.

He stumbled inside of his house an hour before dawn, hoping Lilli had gone to ground early. He had too much on his mind. He didn't want to lecture her tonight about how impulsively she acted and how he found out that Sookie could have easily ended her if she wanted to. He also didn't like her disobedience and how she seemed to like everyone else but him, even that werewolf Alcide. He just didn't want to deal with anymore tonight. Sighing to himself, he opened the door to his room ready to collapse on his bed. He wasn't supposed to think this much and to his surprise he found the tiny brunette vampire sitting on his bed hugging her knees.

He actually smiled to himself before speaking. She looked so, quiet. But she never is.

"What are you doing in my room?" He asked standing in front of her.

Lilli looked up at him and said, "About earlier tonight, she just smelt so interesting, kind of like candy."

"That's fine," he said running his hand through her hair. He couldn't lecture her now that she looked so guilty and like a lost puppy.

Lilli didn't move from his bed. She hugged her knees to her chest and kept her eyes on her feet.

"Are you ok?" Eric asked sitting next to her. He tucked a strand of her behind her ear.

She spoke finally, "I was eight years old when my father and I moved in with his sister. She was rich had two kids of her own and took in foster kids all the time. At the time she had a sixteen year old boy living with her. During the summer everyone always had to work during the day even my cousins. So I was left alone with him. At first he was like an older brother and yeah maybe I developed a crush on him after spending a lot of alone time with him. Then one day when we were watching TV when he..," she paused and bit her lip, "took advantage of me, and it kept happening almost every day. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I was still a kid and it went on for over a year and ended when my father and I moved houses. I still saw him over the years but I just pretended he never existed," she laughed darkly remembering every memory, "the last I heard that guy was actually working for my father. I never told anyone before, for over ten years he and I are the only people that know. Can you believe it? The two men that I hate with everything inside of me working together, I want to burn that place down so bad,"

"Why are you telling me this?" he said, stroking her cheek.

She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and said, "Because you asked, you brought all these memories up."

He asked?_ I asked about her virginity._ He wanted to smash his head against the wall. He had brought it up not knowing what consequences it might bring. He thought she at least had a normal.. you know. He wanted to wrap his arms around her so that no one in this world can hurt her any more and tell her he won't ask anymore stupid questions.

"You never tell me anything," he murmured.

"I know, if I'm going to live forever as a vampire. I have to let things go one day at a time," she replied in a mutter.

"Lilli," he spoke placing a hand of her shoulder.

"Because you made me into this, you are the only one that I can trust with this, learn from your mistakes right, I may still remember every second of it but maybe this time around I can let it go. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't so angry you know," she looked at him with her big brown eyes, pulling him into her gaze. She looked away quickly once she realised he was staring intently at her.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," he said.

Lilli ignored him and continued talking, "If you wanted to know when I properly first had sex I was 17 it was to my first real boyfriend."

"Here I was going to scream at you for misbehaving and now I can't," he said patting her head and kissing her forehead. He wanted to do more, but it wasn't the time. She just makes him feel so different inside.

"I said I was sorry," she pouted.

"And I said it's alright," he chuckled.

"Why were you going to scream at me?" Lilli asked realising what Eric had just said.

"Uh," Eric was at a loss for words, "it's nothing."

"Anyway I'll go back in my room now. I've been waiting for you for hours," she said getting up from his bed.

"Why don't you sleep here?" Eric said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into bed.

"Uh because I have my own room," she answered.

"You know that I can't let you be alone tonight," he said, "stay here. I'll just wash up and we'll rest."

Lilli nodded at him, understanding what he meant.

Eric got up from his bed and went to the bathroom. He took off every piece of clothing he had on and jumped in the shower. He let his dripping wet head against the wall, feeling every drop of water going down his back. She wasn't done surprising him with facts that make him stop at his tracks. He didn't think that a human who only lived twenty years would have so many stories kept inside of them. Stories that were not meant to happen to such a girl like Lilli. He wanted to end every person that had hurt her, every person that made it so hard for him to break her walls. He wanted for her to know that she will always be safe, but she'll never believe him. He was.. he didn't even know who he was to her. At least she was sharing parts of herself slowly. It still doesn't change her past as much as he wanted to.

He got out of the bathroom drying his hair with a towel when he found Lilli lying down on the other side of his bed. Her body was turned away from him. He was surprised that she had followed his orders and didn't run away and locks herself in her room. Maybe she didn't want to be alone tonight. He knows that feeling all too well.

Eric dropped the towel on a chair and climbed into bed. He wanted so badly to touch her again. He knew it was the inappropriate time but he just had to. Lilli didn't flinch or move when he moved closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist. _That's surprising maybe she's already asleep, _he thought. He at least expected a shove or a slap to the face. He shifted closer pulling her in his embrace. She was so small compared to him. He breathed in the scent of her hair.

"She really did smell really delicious," Lilli murmured, "couldn't you tell?"

"You're still awake," Eric spoke surprised but closed his eyes feeling the sun about to rise any minute, "mmm, I believe you," Eric said tightening his embrace.

"You don't believe me," Lilli said flinching as if she was fighting the urge of turning around and facing him.

"I do," he muttered against her ear.

"No you don't," she scoffed.

"Believe me I do, now let's just rest alright," he said burying his face deeper in the mess of her hair.

"Fine," she huffed.

Eric closed his eyes again and let himself fall into slumber. His last thoughts before completely resting consisted of how he was so lucky to have her in his arms without being thrown across the room by her and maybe there was hope for him.

xxx

Slow down, you're thinking way too much  
Too close, but maybe it's not enough  
I still remember I've been here before

'Late Nights' – Amy Meredith

xxx

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**A/N:** So I haven't thanked the people who put this story in their favourites and alerts I can't believe there so many of you.. so THANK YOU! and thank you for everyone who reviewed the last chapter.  
I don't like these ads..


	22. Take A Drink

**Chapter 22: Take a Drink**

Lilli opened her eyes slowly after a day's rest. It had been a while since she had a dream, not since she turned into a vampire. She thought she wasn't capable of dreaming anymore and she was grateful because, she would rather call them nightmares since most of the time it was all she had. After Eric asking a certain question about her past and how she had confessed to him the night before her mind was filled with thoughts and images of what had happened to her when she was younger. She had tried to block it out, just like she always had. She couldn't do it. The only time that her mind was put to ease was when she felt Eric's arm wrapped around her. She didn't know if it was their bond that made her close off her mind or she just felt safe in his arms. She didn't get time to figure it out. Once she had drifted off to sleep her mind was attacked by a nightmare. She jolted awake just before the sun came down. She could still feel it inside of her that she should still be resting.

She turned to her other side where Eric was still in slumber. He still had his arm around her, it was dead weight, and he was still fully resting. She stared at his face and tried to forget what she had dreamed about. She sometimes wished that she could be one of those people who always forget their dreams. She always remembered everything she dreamed about. She thought that was going to change when she found out she had been turned into a vampire.

Her eyes wandered from Eric's closed eyes to his long light eyelashes to the bridge of his nose and finally to his mouth. She had gotten rid of her dream but her mind was now plagued with something else. He had kissed her once, only once and she had tried to forget about it but somehow she couldn't. She wanted more but knew she couldn't and wouldn't let herself fall into that situation again. It was Eric and she couldn't. She was supposed to spend most of her vampire life with him. Being in that situation again would just mess things up. There was also the matter of age he was way older than her appearance wise and age wise. A guy or vampire that looks like Eric would never go for a girl that looks like her. She saw what kind of humans he was into and they looked nothing like her. It couldn't happen.

"Why are you staring at me while I sleep?" Lilli flinched as Eric's mouth started moving.

"Well why are you pretending to be asleep?" she croaked.

"Because you are staring at me," Eric said with his eyes still closed.

Lilli shrugged her head, confused, "what?" she screeched.

Eric gently opened his eyes and smirked at her.

"Eric what is she?" she asked trying to change the subject with a thought she had at the back of her head.

"What is who?" Eric answered with another question, trying to play dumb.

"Sookie, she doesn't smell like a normal human," Lilli said.

"She's just a human," he lied.

"Are you sure? Cause I've never smelt anything like her and in fact that Alcide guy smelt different too," she said, grabbing his arm from her waist and placed it on his side.

"Well every supernatural being smells different," Eric shrugged.

"There are others?"

"Yes,"

"So how many are there? I'm sure it's not just us right?"

"A lot,"

"Like what?"

"Shapeshifters, werewolves, panthers and many more,"

"Do you know any of them?" she asked curiously, intrigued and fascinated with the new information. How many times had she walked by a normal person and they were not completely human.

"I do,"

"I want to meet some."

"You already met one. Alcide, he's a werewolf."

"That's why he smelt so bad. Are there more?"she asked.

"Yes, you'll meet them sometime."

Lilli sulked.

"Actually let's go meet some more right now," Eric said, "Let's go see Sookie."

Lilli tried to drown out the sound of eagerness of Eric's voice.

"Can we do it tomorrow?" she said looking away from him.

"Tomorrow it is,"

"I got to get ready for work," Lilli said getting out of Eric's bed.

Eric grabbed her wrist before she could go out of his room. He was sitting down on his bed. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around him. Lilli didn't move away from Eric. She just stood there surprised. Eric's hands ran through her hair. It was as if he wanted to say something to her but couldn't. He let go of her and pushed her away from him slightly. Eric looked away from her and said, "go."

"You are so strange," Lilli voiced out before leaving his presence.

xxx

Things had slowed down for night at Fangtasia. It was busier than the night before but still not enough to keep Lilli preoccupied for the whole night. Alex was missing tonight he had told her he was going away for a few days. It made her night dull. She was so used to hanging out with him once she had stopped working for the night. Eric was nowhere to be seen, he was probably with a fang-banger at the basement our dealing with his Sheriff duties. She hadn't seen him all night, not even when she left for work. She was bored out of her mind and thought she might as well camp out at Eric's office until the night was over. There was nothing else to do.

Lilli made her way into Eric's office not realising that it was occupied.

"Oh my god!" she screamed.

It was Pam she first saw and then a male human on the couch. Pam having a human companion for the night wasn't the thing that surprised her. Pam had her human on the couch while she sat on a chair next to him. The human had a drinking straw stabbed through his wrist that Pam was drinking from. It wasn't a sight she was used to seeing when she walks into Eric's office and she has seen weird things in his office but this sight was by far the weirdest.

"Oh hi Lilli," Pam greeted with a coy smile and wiping her blood red lips delicately with a handkerchief.

"What were you doing?" she asked staring intently at the straw that was puncturing the human. She felt her fangs come out unexpectedly at the sight and smell of blood.

"I was feeding," Pam said with a wink.

"With a straw?"

"Yeah," Pam replied with a shrug, "Would you like to try?" Pam offered with a big smile.

"But why?"

"I don't like to mess up my make up, and it's fun," Pam smirked proudly.

Lilli gave her a strange look and turned to the human who looked oddly comfortable with a straw stuck in him.

"So have a sip, I'm sure he won't mind, right Hector," Pam said and turned to the human nodding in agreement.

"Alright," Lilli was curious to find out another way to feed off a human. She made her way over to the human and kneeled down next to him. Lilli looked at Pam uncertainly not sure what to do really. Even though she thought it would be just like sipping from a juice box only she'd be drinking from a human juice box.

"Go on," Pam said reassuring her that it was alright.

Lilli lowered herself towards Hector's wrist. She placed her lips on the straw and started sipping. She let the fresh, warm blood with a tinge taste of alcohol go down her throat freely. This way of feeding is one she'd try on her own. It was effortless.

"So?" Pam said waiting for a reaction from Lilli.

"It's good," Lilli said standing up and wiped her mouth clean with her hands by habit. She hadn't made a mess at all, "and efficient," she added.

"Did you want anything?" Pam finally asked.

"I'm bored," Lilli complained, "is Eric around?" she asked.

"He said he had other business to attend to tonight, he didn't come in, why do you need him?" Pam asked with one eye brow raised.

Lilli rolled her eyes at her, "It's so dead out there. I might go home get off early or something."

"Straight home," Pam said sternly as if she didn't trust her to go off on her own. Lilli did have tendencies to disappear.

Lilli nodded.

Pam got off her seat and towered over Lilli, "you will not try anything reckless. I may not be Eric but I am responsible for you when he is not here."

"I'll be good," Lilli sighed. She was so sick of saying it. She had been good for the past few weeks but Eric and Pam were still looking out for her. As if at any moment she'd snap and run away like she did before.

"Alright then, go," Pam said and patted the top of her head.

"You and Eric are so strange," Lilli mumbled before going out of Eric's office leaving Pam looking at her dinner seductively.

She lied to Pam. She wasn't exactly going straight home but she also wasn't doing anything reckless either. So it was half a lie. Lilli drove to the nearest 24 hr supermarket and just went around all the aisles she just had to see new faces instead of the same faces of Fangtasia. She went home after that and found that Eric was still not home. She went to ground before he even got home. She had been good tonight but she missed the banter her and Eric have daily. Who knew?

xxx

"Eric where are you taking me?" Lilli asked nervously as she looked around her surroundings. It was dark, very dark. Big trees were all she could see. The road they were driving on was rocky, weren't even paved and didn't look like an actual road. She had never been this out of the city. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere and she didn't like it.

"I told you, we are going to visit Sookie," Eric said not taking his eyes off the road, "I do find it very satisfying to drive in a motor vehicle. For years and years me and Godric just walked and ran until our feets were bloody and just wait for it to heal. But once they invented cars I just had to have one or ten it makes travelling much easier without having to fly," Eric babbled on.

"Yeah driving is good," she said not really caring much about cars, "but I don't care about that! Eric where are we going?" she said a little louder, "you're not going to leave me out here in the middle of nowhere?" she asked speaking her mind.

"No," Eric chuckled, "you're a paranoid one aren't you. I told you we are going to Sookie's."

"Well it's not like that's never happened to me," she huffed quietly to herself looking out the window.

"Trust me," he said.

"I swear to god if you leave me here I will find my way back to you!" she screeched.

Eric didn't reply but just smirked to himself.

Lilli saw a glimpse of an old neon sign as they pulled into a dead end. Merlottes, it said and underneath it looked like a diner, a country looking old run down diner that needed work. Lilli cursed herself in her mind for being so prejudice just by looking at the outside. It could be a really good diner with great people inside for all she knows or it could have really mean people who hated vampires and had stakes ready for her once they walk inside. Sometimes she really just had to stop over thinking everything.

"We're here," Eric announced while turning off the engine.

She got out of the passenger seat and looked around at her surroundings. The place was covered with trees and a lot of it. There were a few cars at the parking lot but mostly consisted of old trucks.

"Where did you take me?" Lilli said grabbing Eric's shirt hoping he'd take her back home now. They were way too far from civilisation. She wasn't used to it.

"I told you we're going to see Sookie," Eric replied and took her hands into his instead of his shirt.

Suddenly she could hear the sound of every voice inside. The chattering inside changed her mood, she was excited. It's been a while since she's met someone new, with a heartbeat that would taste good. Lilli looked around as they walked in people were scattered everywhere. She clutched onto Eric's hand tighter as the sound of throbbing heartbeats got louder. She almost squealed as she caught a whiff of everyone inside. They smelt so delicious.

"Eric what are you doing here?" Sookie asked as quietly as she could as she walked over from the bar to greet them at the front door.

"I like the uniform here," Lilli chirped, looking at Sookie's skin tight white tshirt, apron over shorts showing off her legs and her feet were covered with canvas shoes, "why can't I wear things like this at Fangtasia?" she said looking up at Eric.

"Because we'll end up with a either a dead vampire or human nightly," Eric replied, rolling his eyes.

"I can handle myself," Lilli huffed proudly.

"Eric," Sookie tried getting his attention.

"Yes," Eric replied sweetly it made Lilli gag, "Lilli wanted to meet a shape shifter, seeing that this bar has two I think her curiosity would be satisfied."

"Sure," she didn't believe Eric.

"I'm sorry for asking you to be my pet, I can be a bitch sometimes," she muttered under her breath while looking at the ground.

"That's alright, I guess," Sookie said suspiciously, she didn't trust Lilli yet.

"That's a nice gesture," Eric said.

"It is," Sookie agreed, her eyes wandered to their two hands intertwined together.

Eric flinched and Lilli suddenly felt Eric's hands slip away from hers.

_Whatever_, she thought and looked everywhere else but Eric and Sookie. She didn't want to see Eric look at Sookie as if he's battling himself if he wants to eat her or fuck her right there and then. Sookie had just been back for two nights as far as Lilli knew and he's looking at her like he's never looked at anyone before. It made her not want to like Sookie. It made her somewhat jealous and she didn't like that feeling associated with Eric.

It was then she realised that everyone was looking at them. She tried to smile at the brown haired man tending the bar who had a different stench than everyone else and the pregnant dark skinned girl who had a sour look on her face. They look like they weren't surprised to see Eric which meant all eyes were on Lilli. The man dropped the dirty towel he was holding and walked over to them.

"What are you doing here?" the man spat harshly.

Eric ignored him and introduced Lilli, "Sam this is Lilli."

"Lilli, Sam, he's a shifter," he said placing a hand on her shoulder.

Lilli smiled at Sam once again but glared at Eric and brushed him off. She went on to walk over to the bar while the pregnant lady went to the back kitchen. She sat down at one of the seats and paid no attention to everyone who was looking at her. Maybe they weren't used to seeing vampires. She didn't know what she was doing at Merlotte's, she just knew she had to get away from Eric at that moment.

"Not a fan of Eric?" Sam said to Lilli and placed a fresh out of the microwave Tru Blood. Lilli hated the smell but smiled and took a sip. Sam seemed nice to her at least.

"He has his moments," she replied taking a glance behind her and saw Eric still chatting away with Sookie. She scoffed and turned back to Sam, "you're a shifter. How does that work?" Lilli asked in a hushed tone. She didn't want most people to know she was a vampire and thought maybe Sam felt the same.

"You're new," Sam said placing both his hands on the counter next to Lilli so he could speak to her clearly without anyone else hearing their conversation.

"Yeah and sadly I am also his," she replied pointing her head over to where Eric was.

"Oh, like Pam,"

"Like Pam but not entirely. I don't like him most days,"

"That's good to know," Sam smiled warmly.

"So shifting? How does it work?"

"I have to see an animal before I can shift into them, never people," he explained.

"That's fascinating," Lilli mumbled to herself while Sam dealt with a customer complaining about the dirty tables.

"Hey Tommy!" Sam screamed, "There are tables waiting to be cleaned!"

A younger guy who looked like he was around Lilli's age walked out from the kitchen and scowled at Sam, "why don't you do it instead of flirting with girls half your age!" he shouted.

"Because it's your job!" he said more sternly.

Tommy groaned and followed Sam's orders.

"He's like you," Lilli said as she took in Tommy's scent.

"He's my brother, we don't always gotta like the people we're related to," Sam sighed.

"Here, here!" she raised her drink to Sam in agreement.

It seemed like people around this small town weren't fans of vampires. Everyone was wary towards her, most of the staff went to the back or the kitchen. Most of the customers just stared as if waiting for her to do something drastic, like grab someone and drink from them in front of everyone. The way people acted it was like the town was vampire free which was strange for a town Louisiana. Vampires were everywhere. I guess there were none in Bon Temps.

Lilli was proven wrong when a tall, pale, redhead girl came out from the back wearing the exact uniform as Sookie. Lilli knew right away that she was a vampire, she had been tuning into everyone's heart beat and the girl didn't have one.

"Here we are another vampire," Eric suddenly appeared next to her, "Hello, Jessica, how are you dealing without your maker Bill Compton?" Eric asked the girl stopping her at her tracks. Jessica looked surprised to see Eric.

"A vampire in a middle of nowhere how unusual," Lilli voiced out.

"Fine, Pam helps me from time to time, who's she?" she asked referring to Lilli.

"My new vampire Lilli,"

Lilli smiled at Jessica widely. She was the protégé of the infamous Bill Compton it would be nice to find out information about him and she seemed like she was her age. It would be good to know another vampire out of Fangtasia.

"Have you found Bill?"Jessica said ignoring Lilli.

Lilli turned her head disappointed and offended by Jessica's action. She didn't like being ignored. She went towards an empty booth with her Tru Blood and let everyone talk to themselves.

"Hey there pretty lady," a tanned, sandy blonde haired guy greeted Lilli. He had one hand on top of the seat Lilli was sitting at and one hand had a bottle of beer.

Lilli looked up at him and saw his cocky smile, his tightly worn shirt that showed off his muscles and great fitting navy blue jeans. He smelt delicious.

"You must be new here, I'm Jason Stackhouse," he introduced, dropping his beer on the table and reaching out his hand for her to shake.

Lilli didn't reply and just stared at him. The guy had guts talking to a vampire when everyone else was staying away.

Sookie trudged over to them, "Jason! Don't hit on Lilli, she's with Eric," she said, smacking the side of his head.

"Oh are you like his you know," he said raising his eyebrows, widening his eyes and turning his head sideways.

"Don't even say that to her!" Sookie screeched and smacked his head again, "you really are vampire bait!" Jason replied with a grumble.

Lilli opened her mouth and revealed her fangs and smirked at him.

Jason's cocky smile was wiped out of his face, "Oh I get it. So um yeah," he trembled.

"Please excuse my dumbass of a brother," Sookie gave her half a smile before walking off.

"Lay off her Stackhouse," Tommy said as he walked past.

"Why because you call every vampire girl that walks in that door?" Jason screamed at Tommy, "when are you going to get they don't want you!"

"So Jason right?" Lilli said. He smelt a bit different, sweeter than most of the people at the Merlotte's but not as sweet as Sookie. She saw him in a different light. She could feed from him, someone out of Fangtasia. Maybe he would taste less polluted and maybe she could try Pam's way.

"Jason Stackhouse," Eric said loudly again appearing and interrupting her conversation. Eric placed a hand on Jason's shoulder and squeezed it lightly but for a simple human like Jason it hurt, "if you even try to touch a hair on her. I will tell her your past extracurricular activities. I'm sure she will disagree and I will gladly let her have her way with you," he whispered into his ear.

Lilli heard every word. Jason's eyes nervously went from Eric to Lilli. She got up slowly and pushed Eric away from Jason. He laughed as she kept pushing him out of the establishment.

"So hows Sookie?" Lilli asked trying to fake interest.

"Fine," he replied.

"Hey so you can go off with Sookie. Do whatever you want with her and I'll have Jason, so we can each have our Stackhouses," she proposed.

"You sound jealous," Eric leered, touching her cheek slightly.

"Hah you are so full of yourself," she chuckled backing away from him and walking back inside to go see Jason.

"So Eric's an idiot. Can I buy you a drink in return?" she said, sitting next to him at the bar.

"Are you sure?" Jason sounded nervous and jumpy. She could hear his heartbeat racing it made him more appealing to her. She didn't care about whatever Eric was talking about Jason. She only wanted one thing from him.

Lilli nodded, "beer?"

"Yeah," he replied with a big smile, "I've never met anyone who talks about Eric that way,"

"I'm different,"

Fifteen minutes later Lilli grabbed Jason by the hand and led him deep into the woods where no one could see them. She started to kiss his beer stained lips. She looked into his hazel eyes and asked, "you want this?" Jason replied with a nod. She couldn't believe she didn't need to glamour him, by the way he was acting after he found out she was a vampire. She didn't mind, she wasn't that good with glamouring people yet so the more willing they are the better. No one could say no to her. She cranked her neck to the side so she could get a better position then plunged her fangs into Jason's neck.

xxx

It's not for sure and I'm feeling,

Like it's not for sure.

Come on and take a drink with me.

I don't think you can cope with it. I don't think you can handle it.

'Take A Drink' - Quietdrive

**

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AN: **Thank you for everyone who reviewed! Sorry this took so long.. I had major blockage and couldn't write at all. I don't even know if I like this chapter. It's long and pointless? I love the other character of True Blood.. mostly Jason and I know I called him a dumbass here but that's what I love about him. I wanted to incorporate them into this story for maybe one chapter. Plus the writer's block. See you next time. I promise to be better.


	23. All That Crap is Gone

**Chapter 23: All That Crap Is Gone**

It was almost midnight and Eric hadn't caught a glimpse of his vampire for a few minutes. Also Jason Stackhouse had suddenly disappeared from Merlotte's as well. He sensed a brewing recipe for disaster if he didn't find her soon. He said his goodbye to Sookie and his forced thanks to Sam for accommodating Lilli and letting her find out more about creatures roaming the earth. He didn't try and feel her through their bond. He just followed the undeniably strong scent of Jason Stackhouse through the forest at the back of Merlottes.

They didn't get too far away from the bar. Eric found them maybe ten metres into the woods. He wasn't surprised to see Lilli feeding from the neck. She had been getting better at that lately. She wasn't so insecure about feeding from humans. She was finally acting like a true vampire, without a care to the world. He had to stop her. He knew how intoxicating the blood from a Stackhouse is. Jason may not be full fae but he was still part fae and his blood was better than most humans.

He took a few steps closer. Lilli hadn't noticed or heard him closing in on them. She was far too distracted by Jason's blood. Even with he placed a hand on her shoulder she didn't flinch.

"That's enough," Eric commanded, pulling her off Jason, "we're leaving."

Lilli looked at him straight away waiting for an explanation while wiping off the excess blood that trickled down her chin.

"A few more minutes and you would have drained him,"

"Huh, didn't realise I was drinking that much," she looked back at Jason who was dabbing his neck with the collar of his shirt, "I'm sorry," she said tracing his jaw with a finger.

"It's alright," he croaked, "I'm still breathing."

"Sookie is looking for you," Eric said sternly to Jason.

"Oh, uh, I'll see you later then Lilli," he mumbled nervously and kissed her lightly on the cheek before making his way back to Merlotte's.

"He's a sweet guy," Lilli mumbled with a smile, "I'll just say goodbye to Sam,"

"No need. Did you give him your blood?"

"Ew, no why would I do that?"

"Just asking," he shrugged.

She didn't need to know the truth. She would not see Jason Stackhouse anytime soon.

xxx

Lately it seemed like Lilli was disappearing a lot of times. She was barely at Fangtasia even though she was supposed to be working. He couldn't blame her for not being around the club. It was way too cold to be out late at night. The thrill seekers felt way too cold to come out of the house wearing just a bit of leather. Shivering humans were also not desired by vampires, their blood tasted different. Everyone stayed at home and kept themselves warm and delicious.

"Eric!" he heard the shrill voice of his vampire as shouted excitedly as she ran into Fangtasia.

It was late and Eric hadn't seen her all night.

"Lilli where the hell have you been? I've been waiting for you for hours!" he said infuriated and grabbed her arm.

"I can fly!" she shrieked.

Eric dragged her by the arm and led her into his office. "What do you mean you can fly?"

"You can do it. So why can't I?" she shrugged.

"Because you're a very young vampire," he alleged.

"Well I can so,"

"How is that possible?" he asked still not believing the fact that she could fly at her age.

"I was bored. There was no one here so I went for a run to see how fast I can go then suddenly I take off from the ground. I'm flying then well I fell cause I got distracted and realised that I was flying. But I tried it again and again and I was on top of a building without using an elevator or stairs," she explained animatedly.

"You're a young vampire," Eric voiced out his thoughts.

"You already said that," she said rolling her eyes, "can't you just be happy for me?"

"Show me," he announced.

She nodded as they both walked out of his office. "Okay so far this is the only way I can do it," she said once the door was closed and it was just the two of them outside of Fangtasia.

Lilli started to run into the woods behind the parking lot and zoomed past him. Eric followed her a few steps away from her and slower so he wouldn't take over her. She reached her full speed and her feet started to take off from the ground. He watched as she flew straight over the trees and stayed put once she was a metre above the highest tree she could see. Eric decided to join her up there.

It was a wonderful sight to see her floating on air. He remembered the time when he and Godric first flew together. It was one of the things he liked about being a maker and a child. To be able to share the powers of being a vampire with someone else is one of the things he would never trade for anything.

"There," she said with a big proud smile, "I'm not very good at it and I can't go left or right yet but, there."

"Huh," he responded trying not to return her smile. It was still strange that she could fly at a very young age, "can you go higher?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she grinned.

They took off at the same time. Eric had a proud smile playing on his lips he wouldn't dare show Lilli.

"See I can fly," she told Eric once they were back inside.

"You need some practice but still, very interesting," he agreed.

"Why all vampires can fly right?"

"Yes but in time, it took Pam decades to be able to even just get off the ground, but you're only a few months old, barely a year old vampire,"

"Maybe your bloods stronger than you think," she suggested.

"Maybe, after all I hit 1000 years after I had made Pam. Yeah that could be it," he said but still amazed at the fact that his newly created vampire could fly at her young age. There could be more.

Lilli suddenly squealed, "Oh my god!" she screamed in excitement.

"What?" Eric looked around unexpectedly. What was she so happy about? He caught a familiar tall black haired boy just made his way in his bar.

"Derek!" she shrieked.

"Derek," he groaned. Eric rolled his eyes and walked off. He didn't Derek; also he didn't like seeing them together.

"I'm so sorry Lilli!" he wrapped his arms around her.

"Why are sorry? You're here!" she said and hugged him back as tightly as she could without crushing his ribs, "you're here!"

"I have some news," he croaked.

Eric made his way to his throne after talking to Pam he hadn't revealed the new information he found out about Lilli, maybe next time. He kept his eyes on Lilli as she led Derek into a quiet corner. Which he thought wouldn't help because the music was still loud, he was still a vampire and could hear their conversation and there were barely anyone in the club it would make any difference if they stayed at the same spot.

"It's about your mum," Derek started to say.

"Don't use that word around me!" Lilli said jokingly.

Derek's impression didn't change. Eric could hear his heart beat speed up.

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned. Derek was always so calm with Lilli, but tonight the guy in front of her was a stiff and awkward Derek. She had never seen him this way.

"She's dead. I had to tell you in person," he croaked.

"Dead?" she faltered.

_Dead_. Her mother's dead. Eric didn't move from his seat. He stared at the dancer in front of him but still tuning into their conversation. He didn't want to interrupt yet.

"I'm sorry, my parents called and said she was in a car crash. I know you never got along," Derek stuttered, he had trouble getting the words out. He was scared for her reaction.

"No it's ok, I'm ok," Lilli remarked, "she was never a mother to me,"

Eric turned his head towards Lilli and Derek. _She's ok?_ She looked alright a bit shocked but that was it. There were no tears falling from her eyes, it was as if the news didn't make a difference to her.

"But, Lilli- "

"It's ok Derek," she reassured him, "it's better. No more extra baggage to deal with," she breathed. "You must think I'm horrible,"

"No I don't I just wish I knew the whole story,"

"You know enough," she said squeezing his arm.

"Hey you must be Derek!" Alex appeared in front of them and greeted Derek, "I heard Eric complaining about you, I'm Alex," he said holding out his hand to shake.

"Eric," he heard her whisper out of nowhere. She must have thought that he heard everything. She turned her head towards him nd surely he was caught sitting there staring at her solemnly. He had heard everything. He hopped off his seat and made his way over to her. She just stood still watching him get closer, her eyes blank without a tear or at least a bit of emotion showing. He tried to sense if her walls were down because of this news but it wasn't, as always he couldn't tell what she was feeling.

Lilli was still processing the information, but she was fine with it. When she tried to kill herself she had let go of everything in her life and even when she had been turned vampire. She accepted the fact that she wasn't going to see everyone in her life anymore and that included her mother. She really was okay with that.

"Boys can we postpone the introductions later," Eric said to Derek and Alex who were talking animatedly.

"Sorry," Derek mumbled.

"Are you alright?" Alex asked Lilli.

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered him with a small smile.

"Let's go to my office," he said to Lilli and wrapped an arm over her shoulders, "now you can go back to talking amongst yourselves,"

"Eric," Derek started to say.

Eric cut him off, "she'll be fine."

"I'm alright Eric," she reassured him once she was sitting at the couch and the door of his office closed. It was just the two of them, again.

"I know you are, I just thought maybe you might need some quiet," he said, "I cared for my parents."

"I never had any," she replied.

"And that's a damn shame, you have me now,"

"Yeah you're all I've got now, you better make this worthwhile," she said unaffected with the news that was given to her just a few minutes ago.

"You bet I will," Eric replied with one of his infamous smirks. She was a tough girl, "You've had a big night," he said running his hand through her hair.

"You bet I did," she said, "I can fly."

xxx

A few hour later Eric woke up alarmed. Lilli's presence surrounded him, she was scared and screaming. Only it wasn't all in his head she was screaming in the other room. He rushed towards her sleeping form. He shook her and shook her until she woke up.

"Lilli!" he shouted at her to awaken her.

"Lilli!"

Her screams stopped all of a sudden. Her eyes opened as she gasped for air. Her hands instantly clung to Eric's arms, her grip tightened as she tried to calm down.

"Lilli! Lilli!" he called out to her looking straight into her eyes trying to snap her out of her trance, "what is going on?"

"Nothing! Nothing!" she screamed.

She shook her head and tried to get rid of the nightmare. It felt so real. The image of her wrapped in silver chains dangling from someone's grasps.

xxx

Always trying to please everyone that I met and ended up losing it all  
But all that shit is gone, all that shit is gone.

'All That Shit is Gone' - Carolina Liar

xxx

**

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AN:** Yay another chapter! It's shorter than the last one. So I plan on finishing this story before the new season starts.. I hope. Expect more updates. Thanks for the reviews! They make me want to write more :)


	24. What The Hell

**Chapter 24: What the Hell**

"Eric," Pam pursed her lips seductively at the tall dark haired human, "can I keep this one?"

"Yes please can we keep that one!" Lilli joined in.

"No that one needs to go back to New York," he pointed at Derek, "I can't stand it being here," he muttered under his breath.

"This boy has spent more time with us than you have the past week," Pam said walking over to Derek and playing with the tips of his hair.

Derek squirmed and moved towards Lilli. She laughed at him; her hands reached up to his shoulder and patted it lightly.

"It's true!" Alex pipped in from behind Pam.

"What are you even doing here?" Eric sneered.

Alex scoffed at Eric and went on to finish his Tru Blood at a near table.

Lilli nodded in agreement, "I think that means we can keep him here."

"No," Eric answered, "I've barely seen you four for the past few days. You let Theo and Chow run this place?" Eric tried to lecture.

Pam, Lilli, Alex and Derek all looked around Fangtasia and then looked at each other. There were only four vampires and one human waitress was the entire bar needed.

"Oh yeah the place was in so much danger," Lilli laughed.

Derek had stayed a week with Lilli and Eric, but it's not like Eric noticed. The two of them would always go off right after she's risen and they dragged Alex and Pam with them. They have been to see everything there is in Louisiana. They also didn't bother asking him to come with them. Lilli knew that Eric didn't like Derek but she could have at least asked. He hadn't seen her for days.

Then before he could talk Eric's phone rang.

"Hold on," Eric said raising a hand to Lilli and answering his phone.

"Yes," he answered.

"Eric, its Sookie. How's the search for Bill going?"Lilli could hear Sookie's shrill voice coming from Eric's phone.

_Sookie must be Bill's girlfriend, _Lilli thought as she listened in.

"Nothing yet," Eric replied blankly.

"Eric," Lilli interrupted. Eric placed a hand on the phone and gave her his full attention.

"I'm going to stay with Derek till his flight leaves, don't wait up I'll be back before dawn."

He nodded at her and went back to listening Sookie babble on about how much she needed Bill with her and how Eric should really be looking for him right now instead of doing something else. He wanted to crush the phone just so he could stop hearing about Sookie's precious Bill Compton.

Lilli rolled her eyes at Eric before turning back to Derek. She ran to him and hugged him as tight as she could. She looked back at Eric over Derek's shoulder. He had an irritated look in his eyes towards Derek, but his expression suddenly changed when he realised Lilli was looking at him. She grinned at him, _jealous, _she mouthed to him. She didn't wait for a reply. She hopped off her best friend and led him out Fangtasia with Alex tagging along behind them.

xxx

A few nights later Lilli found herself at another vampire prison with Eric. They were still in Louisiana and she didn't know why Eric wouldn't know if the vampire they were looking for was at this prison when he was a sheriff. Maybe they didn't want Eric to know because he was way too involved with the matter. She wasn't happy to be out and about with the cold weather. She didn't feel the cold wind against her skin but it didn't mean that she'd want to be at an empty field looking for a criminal.

"So we're still looking for Bill Compton?" Lilli asked Eric who was a few feet away from her.

"Yes," he answered.

"The Bill Compton that Sookie's in love with?" she touched the tip of a stake with the name Marcus Black.

"Yes."

"The Bill Compton that the woman you love is in love with?"

Eric suddenly tuned to her and shot her a menacing look, "I do not love her," he scowled.

"Jeez touchy," she retorted.

"Are you jealous?" Eric said with a big smirk on his face, a quick change of mood.

Lilli scoffed, "yeah I want you so bad Eric!" she said sarcastically and launched herself at him, but stopping before she could hit him. She gave him a playful smile before backing away a few steps from him.

"I almost believed you," Eric chuckled with his hand over his chest.

"Ugh why is it that it's always us looking for this Bill Compton?" she complained, "you've got so many minions working for you why can't they do it instead."

"Because I want to be the one to find him so I can stake him," he said darkly.

"That won't make Sookie happy," Lilli quipped while moving onto a different piece of wood.

"No it won't," Eric said.

"Can we go home? This is so boring," Lilli complained.

"No we'll finish up this prison."

"You finish up this prison," she grumbled and stomped off to the nearest tree. She always wanted to climb a big tree and now she could without the thought of falling and hurting herself. She climbed up and sat at one of the sturdier trunks. She watched Eric walk over to stick by stick. Sometimes he walked sometimes he ran for a second. She didn't get it.

Lilli tried something, it was just the two of them at an empty field, "Hey so what's your feud with Mr. Compton anyway," she asked with her normal voice.

"Nothing that concerns you," Eric replied, turning slightly to look at her.

"Is it a Sookie related thing?"

"No," he growled.

"I think he is," she began, "I've pieced it all together you know, there's this vampire hmm let's call him Bill Compton, he lives in a town called Bon Temps and he's dating the most appetizing smelling human. Mr. Bill Compton had a friend called Eric Northman and he wanted to meet Mr. Compton's girlfriend and when Mr. Northman met her he couldn't help but fall for her, she was blonde, perky and delicious. So when Mr. Compton got into trouble Mr. Northman thought he could get rid of him forever so he could have Sookie all to himself. So he looks for him at every vampire prison and plans to kill him and no one would ever kn-"

"Enough!" he screamed so loud Lilli almost lost her balance from the tree.

"I still think it's because you want Sookie," Lilli said smartly with a grin.

"I want to kill Bill Compton because he tried to kill me! That's it!"

"God you always run off to see her, if you want her so fucking much why don't you just lie and say Bill is dead and just take her?" she suddenly spoke out her mind.

It happened so quickly. Eric was suddenly floating in front her. "I said enough," Eric said with barred fangs, his eyes menacing and cold.

Lilli didn't flinch, she wasn't scared of Eric. "You know what I'm going home," she hopped off the tree.

She sped off quickly but felt a hand clasp onto her arm making her stop in her tracks after only a few seconds, "Jeez Eric not all of us enjoy being at a vampire prison."

"I do not like being talked to that way," Eric sneered.

"Well I don't like spending my free time at a vampire prison so we're even, now let me go so I can go home!"

Eric let go of her arm. She looked up at him for a few seconds before speeding off.

xxx

She felt like she was about to make a big mistake.

It wasn't a good idea to go to Eric's room.

She had made him angry back at the prison and she was about to make things worse.

There were just way too many thoughts in her head. She had to know.

She didn't even knock. She just went inside and barged into his room.

"Ok I know I'm a little bitchy lately but I have to know did you turn me because you didn't have Sookie to amuse you. Am I just a replacement for her?" she bleated.

"I cannot do this right now," Eric replied, sitting at the edge of his bed rubbing his forehead.

Lilli turned to go back into her room. It really wasn't the time.

"Wait," he spoke softly grabbing her by the arm, "You are not a replacement for her. I had a certain attachment to her. I've denied it but it's true. She was different. She captivated me, her blood especially."

"She does smell weirdly delicious than most humans. She's not completely human is she?" she said with a soft voice.

"She's not," Eric answered, tugging her arm for her to come closer.

"What is she?" Lilli asked stepping towards him.

"A fairie."

"Like tinkerbell?" she answered abruptly, not thinking.

"Not exactly, its complicated, but it was the way she resisted my charm, that kept me interested," Eric pursed his lips and paused, "I don't deny my attraction to her. I guess I am attracted to women who say no to me," he said and turned his head to look straight into her eyes with a seductive with a smirk plastered on his lips.

His mood had completely changed.

She had to get out of his room.

"Okay it is time for me to leave," she chuckled, knowing what would happen next if she stays in his room.

"Come here," Eric pulled Lilli closer to him and made her sit on his lap. He closed the gap between them and placed his lips against her. Eric bit her bottom lip, tugged it down for an opening, their tongues clashed and curled together in lust, "It's you I want," he murmured into her ear causing a shiver run down her spine.

Instead of pushing him off and punching the lights out of him she grabbed his jaw and kissed him while pressing her body against his. Her body betrayed her she wanted him badly. She didn't care anymore. She fumbled to get her hands on the bottom of his shirt. Her touch ran through his whole torso pulling off Eric shirt and throwing it to the side.

"You haven't slept with that Alex have you?" Eric whispered into her ear and kissed her cheek, "I don't want his germs."

Lilli smiled and rolled her eyes, "shut up," she murmured and grabbed his face and pressed her lips on top of his.

"This means nothing," she moaned into his ear.

Eric took a second to reply, "of course," he said before grabbing the back of her head and crashing his lips on hers.

She climbed on top of him and let desire take over her body.

xxx

All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking 'What The Hell'  
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about, if you're loving me, if you're hating me  
You can't save me baby

'What the Hell' – Avril Lavinge

xxx

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**AN: **Um..I don't know if you guys expected that but yeah there you go. I didn't get into the details cause my rating is still teen and well you guys get the picture anyway. Some of you have been asking if she feels anything for Eric and here it is.. Excuse the song for this chapter it has been stuck in my head for days now.

hmm: I just need Sookie for a few chaps she has purpose.. sort of.

Thank you for everyone who reviewed, story alerted and added this story on their favourites!


	25. The Unspeakable Scene

**Chapter 25: The Unspeakable Scene**

Lilli suddenly awoke in panic realising what she had done. It was midday. She could feel it inside of her that the sun was at its highest point. She turned her head and glanced at the sleeping form of Eric. His whole naked body facing her with just a tiny part of his black silk sheet wrapped around his waist. His arm was around her. At least her whole body was covered, unlike Eric.

She had done it. She had let her mind take a few hours off and it lead to sleeping with Eric.

She had to get out. She had to get out of his arms, his room and his house. She had to go away.

But it was day time. It would be hours before the sun would go down.

She quietly unwrapped his arm from her waist and slid out of his bed. She crawled down to the floor searched for her undergarments which Eric had thrown off somewhere. Hopefully they weren't torn into pieces. She remembered the night being rough.

She gathered all her clothes lying around the floor. She wore her shirt and underwear quickly.

She felt a tinge of déjà vu as she took one last look at Eric resting peacefully. She had skipped out on guys a few times. She takes one last look at them before leaving knowing that she never wants to see them again. This was Eric, her maker. She sees him every night. His blood runs through her veins. He was the only person she couldn't deny. He was all she had left. He was supposed to be the only person or vampire that she could never have sex with.

_It's too late for that now. Shit,_ she thought. She suddenly had to rethink everything. Sleeping with Eric was not part of the plan.

The images of last night started rushing back into her head. She wanted to run her hands through his hair and to have him –

_No! _She shook her head furiously trying to get rid of the sensation Eric's hands touching every part of her body. What they did last night wasn't going to happen again, ever.

As much as she'd want to. She couldn't let it happen it again, it was just one weak moment. It won't happen again.

She will have to have her walls up more than she's ever done her whole life.

For now she really needed to get away.

xxx

With her hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket Lilli stomped off Pam's front porch. She realised that it would be the first place Eric would look for her. The sun was barely down. She covered herself fully half an hour before the sun came down and rushed off to her car. She didn't want to wait till it was dark. Eric would be up right away.

_Eric. _

She had left him a note in the kitchen. **I'm fine, just need some air **it said. What else was she supposed to say?

She didn't want him to go looking for her right away. She needed to be away from him for maybe a few days. She had to gain her composure back. She wouldn't be able to be her usual self if she's around Eric right away. Eric was all she had now and she might have just ruined that by sleeping with him.

She didn't know where to go. She could go to New York and stay with Derek for a few days. That would have to wait tomorrow. She drove to one of the motels just outside of Shreveport and waited till the sun was gone before she got out of the car.

If only she was still human this wouldn't happen to her. Her medications would stop her from her impulses. She had been doing so well for the past few months trying to keep herself intact. But, keeping herself intact wasn't part of her plan, being a vampire wasn't part of her plan. She was just giving being a vampire a shot. She still knew her end game.

She could go away and never come back.

xxx

She was hungry. She knew it by the way her eyes went straight to the motel receptionist's neck. She could hear the blood pumping though her veins and the woman's regular heart beat. Once she had her key she asked where the nearest place she could buy some Tru Blood. The woman's pulse suddenly pounded faster and told her there was a grocery store a few blocks down. Lilli said thank you and told her that she had no plans of eating a human tonight. The woman gasped from Lilli's forwardness.

Lilli went straight to the store and bought a six-pack of AB+. Once she was out of the store and away from people she opened a bottle and started drinking. It tasted worse when it wasn't the right temperature. It didn't matter, she was so hungry and she didn't want to make more of a mess than what she's already got. So humans were a no no.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted from behind her.

She turned around and faced the blonde haired vampire.

She gulped down the rest of her Tru Blood and wiped her mouth, "Oh hey Alex I didn't see you there. What are you doing here?" she said looking around. They were nowhere near Fangtasia.

_Alex._ She thought her lapse of judgement would happen to him. She knew it was bound to happen soon and she hoped it would be with Alex, not Eric. It would be so much easier if it was him.

"Just went for a run and I ended up here," he shrugged.

"Ok," she said a bit concerned. It was just past 7pm and it was so strange that Alex just happened to be where she was.

"What's wrong?" he asked placing a hand on her arm.

"What do you mean?" she asked casually.

"We're not in Shreveport," he said.

"That's true."

Then why was he here?

"You can tell me everything you know," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I know, it's nothing important," she answered not wanting to think about it anymore.

"If you say so."

"Why are you here?" she asked again.

"I told you I went for a run," he said sweetly.

She could sense something different about his voice, something different about him.

He sniffed the top of her head, "I can smell Eric on you," he breathed.

She backed away from him, suddenly feeling scared and creeped out. This wasn't the same Alex she conversed with almost every night, something was off.

"Why are you here Alex?" she tried again loudly.

"I'm here for you," he answered softly.

"What?" she croaked.

"I'm here for you," he repeated.

She heard a clink and suddenly felt a searing pain on her left wrist. The case of Tru Blood dropped from her hands and it shattered into the pavement. Alex tugged at the other end. It made her gasp in pain. He overpowered her and had her hands behind her back.

"What the hell is going on? Alex?" she screamed, squirming out of his arms.

"Shut up!" he howled, placing the other silver cuff on her right wrist.

Alex threw her down the ground and wrapped a blind fold over her eyes. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up and started dragging her away.

"What? Where are you taking me?" she spat, feeling the pain of silver burning through her wrists.

"I said shut up," he scowled as they suddenly stopped.

She heard more clinking noises and suddenly a heavy weight was brought upon her neck and it had the same burning sensation she had on her wrists. He had wrapped silver chains around her neck.

"Agh," she screamed in pain.

He placed a tape over her mouth.

"That's more like it," he said sounding cheerful.

xxx

Eric awoke afters a day's rest. His hands searched for Lilli, but he found nothing but the sheet that covered his bed. He groaned, he knew this was going to happen. She was probably at Pam's and will come home after a few days. Once she's back, then they could repeat the events that happened the night before. But for now, he'll just give her a few days to herself.

He got out of bed but suddenly felt slightly nauseous. He felt Lilli's presence surround him for a second then suddenly nothing. Just like always.

There was nothing to worry about.

If she was going to shut him out, he would take a rest and shut her out too.

xxx

Just when you think that you've won, you'll soon be the loser  
How did you think this would end up? Stupid and foolish  
Just when you think that you're okay, you start hearing voices  
Just when you think that you're fine, soon the unspeakable scene will unfold

'The Unspeakable Scene' – Birds of Tokyo

xxx

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**AN: **I said I'll update more. So here you go. Future updates would just be this short. Thanks for the reviews!


	26. Am I Missing

**Chapter 26: Am I Missing**

_This is just freaking great, I sleep with Eric then get captured by Alex_.

They were driving for a while. Lilli could tell from the boot of Alex's car. He had gladly stuffed her in there after knocking her out for a few minutes. She tried to untangle the silver wrapped around her neck and wrist but it proved to be too hard and too painful. She also noticed that Alex tied her feet with silver. She couldn't move most of her body.

_Freaking Alex!_ It was all a ploy, his charm, his friendliness, the way he acted, everything was just a lie. Or maybe this was foreplay for him.

Still, what the hell was going on? Couldn't he have told her 'hey so I'm going to kidnap you, stash you in my boot and take you somewhere far away and we can just hang after that no hard feelings', she would have said ok for the hell of it. That wasn't the story. She didn't know anything, where they were going, why they were going there and why she had to be in the boot. So many thoughts ran through her head that she didn't realise that they had stopped. She heard Alex got out of the driver's seat and open up the back of the car where she was.

She felt the weight of the silver chain wrapped around her leg. Alex grasped her arm and pulled her out of the trunk forcefully. Lilli wanted to scream but couldn't. She wanted to run away but was in too much pain. He stood her up, but her legs wobbled from being silvered.

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered into her ear. He said it so coldly it made her insides squirm.

Alex had taken off the blindfold. He had a big smirk on his face when she caught sight of him. He faced her towards a big white mansion.

"This is where you'll be staying for a few days," he said.

She turned to glare at him but he pushed her forward to go up the stairs with one hand still on her arms, keeping her upright. The front door opened into a big hallway the walls painted white with old paintings hanging from them, there was a spiralling staircase to her left side, doorways leading to different parts of the massive house. Alex dragged her to the right side of the house, sat her down in one of the couches and left her behind to get to the room next door. Everything looked so luxurious around her and exactly what you would expect from a mansion this big.

Lilli was such a good hostage. This was the second time it's happened to her in just a few months. No screaming(it's not like she could scream she had a tape over her mouth no one would be able to understand her), no fighting just sitting around looking at pretty artefacts around the room and only one question running through her mind, what the hell was she doing here?

"Have you seen the blonde these past few nights?" she heard a different voice behind the door asked.

"Not since that night, I have the other girl," Alex replied.

"Alright at least that's something, let's go entertain our guest," the other man said.

Alex came out alone behind the door. He walked over to Lilli and crouched down to match her eyes, "I have someone for you to meet," he said touching her face and ripping off the tape over her mouth.

She flinched away from his touch, "you bastard!" she spat.

He smiled at her sweetly. The smile that made her attracted to him in the first place. Now all she wanted is to wipe that smile off his face and rip him into pieces. She lifted off her feet and kicked Alex as far away from her as she could. He hit one of the bookshelves and everything inside it fell on top of his head.

Lilli would have smiled in satisfaction if she weren't in so much pain.

"Well, well what do we have here," someone else had revealed themselves from the other room. It was another vampire, "my, my, you're a strong one. I liked that bookshelf," the brown haired old vampire bleated.

Her mouth hung open, she knew that face. She had seen him all over the news.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm Russell Edlington," he said with a menacing smile on his face.

"Oh Alexander, Franklin had thought you well," Russell praised Alex while he got on his feet, "and your methods are quite the same," he said as he looked at a silvered Lilli.

"Aren't you that vampire that killed that TV presenter live on TV?" she suddenly blurted out.

"I'm still famous Alexander," Russell said with a chuckle placing a hand on his chest, flattered.

"They said you were dead," she spoke again.

"According to your Mr. Northman I presume," Russell answered sitting next to her and patting her knee.

"No why would it come from him?" she asked inquisitively, "it was on the news 'insane vampire Russell Edlington dead. Everyone is safe we promise', that's what they told us," Lilli inquired Russell.

"I would be if a certain vampire had the balls to finish me off."

"You mean Eric?"

"Bingo!"Russell shouted animatedly.

"Is that why I'm here? You want him?" she couldn't believe it. She was captured because of Eric.

"She's already figure it out Alexander," he said and looked up at Alex.

"She ruined the fun," Alex quipped, "oh the mystery."

"Clean that up Alexander while I show our guest to her quarters," Russell said pointing to the pieces of wood and glass scattered across the floor.

Russell grabbed her by the arm and led her up the staircase. They passed countless of rooms and took a few turns before they got to a black door with two vampires guarding it. The two men opened the door for them. Russell shoved her to the bed. Lilli groaned as she hit the satin sheets. All she wanted to do was rest to put this whole night behind her and to get ready for the following night. This was just the beginning, there would be more to come.

"Rest my dear, I have big plans for you tomorrow night," Russell spoke before closing the silver door behind him.

Lilli sighed and closed her eyes from the pain and exhaustion.

xxx

She dangled from the ceiling silver wrapped around her wrists. Her foot barely touched the ground.

"Hey Russell," she gasped in pain. After a few hours of torture she was surprised that she could still speak.

"Yes my darling?" he said sweetly.

"Do me a favour and just kill me already," she said.

"Why would I do that? You're such good company," he answered tracing his silver cane horizontally along her bare stomach.

"Eric won't go after me, I'm just his new toy, and he can make another vampire easily," she bit her lip to refrain herself from screaming.

"I beg to differ. Mr. Northman tends to be picky and gets attached easily. Alexander has told me stories about the two of you," he said this time his cane touched just under the material of her bra and traced it down vertically to her belly button, forming a cross on her stomach.

"He's not coming," she breathed out.

"He will, do not worry my dear," he said brushing her hair with his hands and fluffing them up.

"I'm not worried. He doesn't know where I am," she tried to smirk.

"What?" Russell was taken aback. He hadn't expected that.

"I'm not calling him."

"Call him," he commanded.

Lilli kept her mouth shut and didn't answer. Her mouth curved into a smile.

"Call him!" Russell shouted annoyed.

Her smile got bigger.

"Call him!" He shouted louder and slapped her across the face.

She spat out the blood from her mouth and gave Russell a toothy grin, "you call him darlin', cause I ain't doing it," she answered with a fake southern drawl.

"You're a bloody piece of work," Russell laughed, "he'll come for you just you wait."

"I aint waitin' for him."

"Oh just shut up!" Russell muttered and shoved his hand at her silvered covered neck. She hissed in pain but still with a smile on her face.

Lilli let out a laugh once Russell was gone.

This was insane. These things just kept happening to her.

The next night was the same, Russell sliced every part of her body and when he was done they would feed her let her heal. Then the following night Russell would do the same thing again.

xxx

"Gentlemen and Ladies, here we stand again and it has been a while. At this moment I cannot provide you with my own blood."

Everyone in the bar groaned and shouted profanities. Russell raised his hand at them silencing every mouth in the bar. He went behind the curtain grabbed Lilli by the hair and dangled her towards the room full of werewolves. He threw her down the floor and clutched onto the chain wrapped around her neck. She stifled a whimper as the silver chain dug into the skin of her neck. She didn't want to show weakness in front of these ravenous werewolves.

"I do have this new vampire, it has a thousand year old vampire blood running through her veins, and it should be a treat," he presented.

Lilli growled at Russell.

"Now, now my darling we have to please my werewolves," Russell said sweetly stroking her hair.

"Screw you," Lilli spat, finding it hard to get the words out of her mouth due to the searing pain wrapped around her throat.

Russell smiled devilishly at her as he pulled out a silver knife from his pocket.

"Bring out the glasses," he commanded. A few men walked over to the stage with trays of shot glasses. Russell called them over next to Lilli.

She mustered her strength to try and bite one of them.

"Behave I said," Russell said, tugging the chain towards him.

She growled at him again trying to mask the increasing pain.

"You see this one is quite feisty, her blood should satisfy your needs," Russell roared and the crowd cheered anxiously awaiting Lilli's blood. He brought her arms forward as the men placed the tray underneath it. He sliced her left arm from her wrist down to her lower forearm and twisted it to drain more of her blood to dribble into the glasses.

"Goddamn it," she cursed in pain, "oh no you spilled some," she groaned, talking about her blood dropping down to the floor as one of the men retrieved another tray.

"I like this girl," Russell said with a laugh before doing the same thing to her other arm.

xxx

It's a long wait for an answer. Is there any news?  
Is there any word? Is there trauma?  
Or a struggle? Am I missing? Was the body found?

'Am I Missing' – Dashboard Confessional

xxx

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**AN:** Hey guys thanks for the reviews, alerts and story favourite. Anyway here it is. I actually really like Russell. If only Franklin was still alive he would have been. This is the first time I've written a torture scene.


	27. Mediocre Bad Guys

**Chapter 27: Mediocre Bad Guys**

"Alex," Lilli sighed catching a glance of the blonde haired vampire walking into her chamber of torture, "I really don't want to see your face right now."

She hadn't talked to him at all since the night he kept her hostage and she really didn't want to.

"Too bad I'm here to feed you," Alex said unlatching her wrists from the chains attached to the ceiling and letting her sit at the bed.

"I'd rather starve," she spat looking away from him. If she wasn't silvered she would have lunged at him and let him have what he deserved.

She looked at the glass in his hands warily. They hadn't fed her yet, just torture.

"If you think it's drugged, it's not," Alex rolled his eyes.

"Damn," she cursed, "I hoped it was, so I can pass out and never see your face again,"

"Russell really likes you."

"Oh joy, does that mean more torture cause I just can't get enough of those," she answered smartly.

"No it means he might spare you."

"Lucky me."

"You can stay here. I can train you, be an assassin like me. I think you'd do great."

"And be Russell's chew toy, I would love that," she gave him a big fake smile, "but really I'd have to pass. Just kill me when you're done with whatever you guys are trying to do."

"You're hopeless," he said plopping down next to her. He pushed the glass of blood towards her mouth.

Lilli slowly sipped the blood from the glass, "it's fresh."

"Yeah, Russell is having some kind of party downstairs," he shrugged.

"Torture and party huh, good combo," she said finishing the blood too quickly.

"Russell's unpredictable, he's fun to be around there's never a dull moment with him."

Lilli bit her tongue refraining herself from asking Alex a personal question about Russell. She was not going to get into personal topics with the person who kept her hostage and betrayed her. Alex got up and went towards her bathroom. He came out a few moments later with a wet towel.

"Why does Russell want Eric?" she finally asked. If anyone in this mansion could answer her it would be Alex.

"He has to pay for his actions," Alex muttered darkly sitting next to her again.

He reached for her face and dabbed the towel on her cheeks where her cuts have closed and blood had dried up. Lilli flinched at his touch but he didn't stop. He cleaned up her arm and thighs until she was almost blood free. She didn't like way he was acting. He was like the Alex she knew and maybe this was another ploy, a ploy for her to call her maker. Alex was a good actor he had tricked her once, but it won't work this time. She won't call Eric.

"Now that you look a bit presentable let's get you some fresher blood," he said and standing her up from the bed.

She wanted to speak out and say 'don't do that! Stop being Alex!' but she couldn't. She really didn't see the point of arguing with him about how he pretended to like her just to lure her in, abduct her and present her to Vampire King Russell, ex-vampire king that is. She didn't refrain from his offer, she was still hungry. Resisting wouldn't do her much good these days it would just add up to more torture.

Lilli followed Alex out of her room, her wrist still silvered with handcuffs. It had been a while since she'd been out of the room Russell kept her in. It had been a few night since she arrived wherever Alex. Russell said Eric would come for her even if she didn't call him but she wasn't waiting to be saved by Eric or Pam. She just wondered how they were at this night. She also wondered how long Russell would keep torturing her and if Eric never came what would he do then? Lure him out using her as bait?

Russell came into view once they rounded a corner. He noticed them right away even from the top of the stairs. "Nice of you to join us Lilli, have some tea," Russell greeted, as she descended down the stairs with Alex.

Alex pulled out a chair next to Russell for Lilli and took a seat at the opposite side of him. The dining table consisted of the vampires that worked with Russell each of them with tea cups in front of them.

"Tea?" Russell offered his cup to her.

Lilli looked at his strangely and he answered, "Oh for crying out loud its blood in tea cups, sit."

She followed as told and placed herself next to him. Even though Russell had offered her tea/blood she still couldn't move her whole arm. She looked around to see how she would be able to have the blood without her hands. Maybe this was part of Russell's torture, teasing her with blood when she's hungry for it.

Russell spoke while patting her knee, "You're a strange girl Lilli, but I wouldn't mind you in my army, you're strong headed and tough. I could use you in a fight."

"And I wouldn't mind you being staked," she answered still looking around for her share of the fresh blood. She could smell the human close by.

Russell laughed maniacally, "See you are such a laugh, I'd like to keep you around for that sense of humour. Bring out the tea!" he screamed.

"I presume that you have learned that there is no way out for you at this house," he said.

Lilli nodded.

"So darling I will take the chains away and you will not run away," Russell stated.

She nodded again. She didn't care however long Russell wanted to torture her as long as he fed her and let her heal after. She could feel it in her veins, all she wanted was the blood.

Russell unlatched the handcuffs from her wrists.

A vampire came out of the white double door with a male human. Russell's vampire held onto the human by their wrists, holding them forward. Lilli could smell the blood oozing out of a fresh wound. She craved it badly. She just had a glass of blood but it wasn't enough to satisfy her body. Her eyes travelled to the human's arm both were sliced open and a white cloth underneath to stop the blood from spilling to Russell's marble floor. She fought the urge to just jump out and savour the human whole. She crunched her knuckles to refrain herself from attacking her meal. Russell motioned his vampire to come forward with the human. He took the teacup in front of Lilli into his hands. Russell winked at the human before taking his wrist and letting his blood drip down to the teacup. Once it was full he gave the teacup to Lilli and she took it cautiously. Russell's still the vampire who is currently torturing her. At least he was creative with his feeding habits just like his torment.

"Drink," he said.

He didn't have to tell her. Lilli sipped the freshest blood she's had in a while. The blood felt like heaven sliding down her throat.

xxx  
xxx

Fangtasia was still at its slowest nights. Eric was slouched down on his throne watching his dancer prance around a pole. He could not be more uninterested.

Pam was nowhere to be seen and that meant his other vampire had gone away as well. Pam had suddenly acquired a new pet. He hadn't heard from her for days which meant that her new pet was delicious and someone he might one night taste. He tried blocking out his other vampire but she was fairly strong for a new vampire so he did not have to worry much about her. She will come home when she wants too and if takes her too long he will just have to retrieve her, but not yet. He was not going to be the first to give in. Plus, there were other things he needed to take care of other than her.

Eric buried himself in his sheriff duties and left town with one of his assassins Clarence a few nights back. He had been neglecting his work since he turned Lilli. It didn't seem as important when she was around, but he needed a distraction. He needed to keep her away from his head and that meant that looking for lost vampires in his care.

Although he had been around for quite some time, some nights it was just too dull to be a vampire. He would rather rest for two days straight. But at the moment Eric was about to doze off from the monotony of his night the delicious smelling annoying blonde walked into his front door. His head shot up. Maybe he was wrong about tonight.

_This could be interesting,_ he thought.

He led her to his office without saying a word. He sat down behind his desk and waited for her to speak.

"Eric, where is Bill? Have you found him?" were her first words to him.

_Not interesting,_ he rolled his eyes. It was now or never.

"Seattle," he sighed. He was so sick of these question the quicker he answers the quicker she'd be off his case.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" she urged.

"I cannot do this right now Sookie," Eric half shouted. He massaged his temple. His calm was gone.

_Bill, Bill, Bill it's always Bill._

"But Eric, Bill," she said quietly her eyes watering as she stepped closer to him. This trick had worked with him before, but not anymore.

_There's that name again._

"Enough!" he screamed slamming his fist onto the table smashing it into half.

"Eric," Sookie pleaded.

"I am sick of hearing about how much Bill means to you. Every time he is in trouble you run to me for help. I cannot do it anymore, I looked for him and found him I cannot do more than that, I should not have tried looking for him after what he's done to me," he paused, "You choose Bill again and again, I have had enough."

Eric opened his drawer grabbed the piece of paper where he wrote down William Compton's location and threw it at Sookie. She scrambled to get the paper in her hands.

_Pathetic._

"I am done," he spat, "Clarence will accompany you. Once you find Bill Compton I do not want to see either of your faces again."

It was then that he heard a commotion outside of his office. An out of breath tall dark haired man burst through the doors of Fangtasia. He was heaving loudly as if he had been running for miles. Eric sensed his presence right away. The stench of him was enough for him to throw up. He noticed the familiar smell coming from the werewolf. He walked out of his office with Sookie just behind him checking what the ruckus was. What was this abomination doing here?

"Eric," he gasped.

"Mr. Herveaux, what can I do for you?"

Alicide Herveaux would not be in his bar for his own gain. It had to be something else.

"They have her," he breathed out.

Eric buried his suspicions and said, "Would you like to elaborate on that?"

The werewolf took a gulp and finally he answered, "They have Lilli, Russell Edlington has Lilli."

xxx

Them mediocre bad guys can really bring you down, they can't be defeated you know.  
They just beat me up and break me down, hoping I don't come around.  
Kick me when I'm on the ground.

'Mediocre Bad Guys' – Jack Johnson

xxx

* * *

**AN: **Just a filler chapter. I wanted to finish this story before the new season starts but I don't think that's going to happen. I know I'll get distracted when True Blood starts but I really will try to update more. I'm really not good with thanking every review one by one. I really really appreciate the reviews. I'm sorry that I'm so lazy but REALLY thank you for those who are still sticking by me and reading this story. THANK YOU.


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